The Box

We got The Box for Christmas, a joint present for each other. It sits there on the table, pulsing, glowing, trembling, flickering, wrapping paper still spread around it like a nest. We knew The Box was all the rage these days, but we weren’t particularly impressed.

“I don’t see what this does that the The Cube didn’t,” she said. It was her idea to get one so I was feeling kind of vindicated but not an £899 kind of vindicated.

“Or The Vase,” I said.

“This is much better than The fucking Vase,” she said. “That thing was so impractical. One little touch and it’d fall over and spill emergence fluid everywhere. It might have been cheap to buy but it was so expensive to run.”

“Yeah, but it had charm,” I said. I bloody loved The Vase. I really did. “A sort of style you know. And portability. We could take it round your Mums. This Box is just… a box.”

“A stable box that doesn’t run on fucking AAA batteries,” she said.

“But it’s so utilitarian,” I said, sighing wistfully. “Remember when technology was exciting. Now it’s just the same, but newer.”

“At least this doesn’t accidentally merge its extrusions,” she said, shuddering at the memory of some half-remembered Christmas now long past.

“I quite liked merged extrusions,” I said quietly.

“I never want to see a merged extrusion ever again in my life,” she said.

I hoped one day soon they’d bring The Vase back as a retro thing, merged extrusions and all. I’d have to keep it hidden away somewhere she’d never find it, but yeah, it could work. They were pretty portable after all.

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Notes:

1. Written on 19th October, 2022

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Arrppier Suphder, ik Voby Tok

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Notes:

1. Discovered in December 2022
2. On a voyage to another realm
3. And eerily reminiscent of this
4. But how and why I do not know
5. Also, you can download this as a pdf if you really want.
6. Here: Arrpier Suphder, ik Voby Tok
7. Or even here (if you want to pay something for it, for some reason)

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Tales From The Town #89: The Penguin Again

The penguin stood by the river and watched and waited and stared. It wasn’t lost anymore. It still had no idea what it was it was planning to do.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 3rd, 2021
2. See also…

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Tales From The Town #88: The Ever Growing Urge To Do Something Else Other Than This

Claire could have been watching TV. She could have been sat on the wall. She could have been shouting at everyone. She could have been throwing rocks in the lake. She could have been pretending to be one of the dolls. She could have been eating. She could have been writing poetry while no one was looking and then scribbling it out and pretending she had never written any poetry at all not ever she was too good for poetry it didn’t deserve her. She could have been holding the cat in the dark beneath the second lot of stairs and planning her revenge. She could have been doing cartwheels in the park. She could have been having a bath. She didn’t want to be having a bath but she could have been having a bath it’d have been better than this. She could have been throwing a ball against the wall over and over again until someone told her to stop. She could have been bursting balloons. She could have been stamping in the mud in her wellies. She could have been stamping in puddles in her wellies. She could have been stamping on people’s toes in her wellies. She could have been pushing people over into the mud and then stamping in a puddle in her wellies. At the same time. While laughing.

But she was pretending to be ill so she didn’t have to go to school so she couldn’t do any of those things at all because she was too stubborn to stop pretending to be ill and go and do any of them at all.

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Notes:

1. Written on January 1st, 2022

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Tales From The Town #87: The Very Best Idea Ever

“What if,” Claire said. “Instead of going to school, we just didn’t go to school? Like ever again?”

At first Claire thought the silence that followed was because everyone was in awe of her great idea, but then it turned out that Tina and Ethel just didn’t understand it all, the idiots.

(Daniel wasn’t listening.)

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Notes:

1. Written on December 7th, 2022

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

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