The Woman Who Was Sometimes On Her Own In Public

There was a woman who would sometimes find herself alone in public. On one such occasion, she found herself in a pub, drinking a pint of beer and reading a book. It was quite a good book, and it was a pretty nice beer. Even the pub wasn’t too bad.

“Look at her,” one of the arseholes on the next table said. “What the fuck’s she doing?”

“She’s reading a book?”

“In the pub!”

“On her own!”

Shrieks of laughter, incredulous, a hint of disgust.

“Why would you do that?”

“You think you’d do it at home.”

“Hey! HEY! What are you reading?”

More laughter.

“Is it gooood?”

She looked up, just a quick glance, then back down to the page. But it was too much. It had been seen.

“Let’s have a look then, love. Let’s have a read.”

Out of his chair and in her face, snatching the book from her hands, “Let’s see what’s so bloody good about your fucking book then.”

And then he began to read, right there, in the pub. She could follow his progress by watching the movement of his lips.

the woman who was sometimes on her own in public there was a woman who would sometimes find herself alone in public on one such occasion she found herself in a pub drinking a pint of beer and reading a book it was quite a good book and it was a pretty nice beer even the pub wasnt too bad look at her one of the arseholes on the next table said what the fucks she doing shes reading a book in the pub on her own shrieks of laughter incredulous a hint of disgust why would you do that you think youd do it at home hey hey what are you reading more laughter is it gooood she looked up just a quick glance then back down to the page but it was too much it had been seen lets have a look then love lets have a read out of his chair and in her face snatching the book from her hands lets see whats so bloody good about your fucking book then and then he began to read right there in the pub she could follow his progress by watching the movement of his lips i dont get it he said whats it about i dont know i havent finished it yet are you taking the piss is this taking the piss he waved the book in front of her face before throwing it contemptuously back onto the table i dont get it was it about me was that me he shook his head and wandered back down to his table sat back down in his chair dyou read her book then what was it about i think have you ever have you ever thought about what were doing what were saying what why we do what we do are you okay mate why do we do what we do its just a bit of banter mate a bit of a laugh are you sure youre okay yeah its just that book she was reading i think it might have been about us you know like fucking us and that the dirty cow nah about how we act about how awful we look to her i knew she was a fucking dyke he laughed no wonder shes on her fucking own they both laughed anyway its your round mate hurry up when they started throwing peanuts at her a few minutes later she decided to leave

“I don’t get it,” he said. “What’s it about?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t finished it yet.”

“Are you taking the piss? Is this taking the piss?” He waved the book in front of her face, before throwing it contemptuously back onto the table. “I don’t get it… Was it about me? Was that me?”

He shook his head and wandered back down to his table, sat back down in his chair.

“D’you read her book then? What was it about?”

“I think… Have you ever… have you ever thought about what we’re doing? What we’re saying?”

“What?”

“Why we do what we do?”

“Are you okay mate?

“Why do we do what we do?”

“It’s just a bit of banter mate. A bit of a laugh. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that book she was reading. I think it might have been about us, you know?”

“Like, fucking us and that? The dirty cow.”

“Nah, about how we act. About how awful we look to her.”

“I knew she was a fucking dyke!” He laughed. “No wonder she’s on her fucking own!” They both laughed. “Anyway it’s your round, mate. Hurry up.”

When they started throwing peanuts at her a few minutes later she decided to leave.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on June 17th, 2014
2. An amalgamation of events
3. That occurred
4. For me
5. And for others
6. At various times
7. That week
8. And every other week, no doubt
9. Before
10. And since
11. While we were on our own
12. Somewhere
13. In public
14. Trying
15. To exist

eaten

He had eaten his hands and he’d eaten his feet and he’d eaten his legs all the way up to the knees and his arms down to the elbows and he thought to himself that he really needed to think of some alternative ways to support himself because this lifestyle wasn’t particularly sustainable in the long term even though it was incredibly tasty

__________

Notes:

1. Written on June 19th, 2016