Something put nests up all around the town. Weird contortions of twig and wire, string and sinew, thorns, charging cables, washing lines, shoelaces, school ties, the horrible mesh bags they put oranges in at the supermarket.
No one knew why. No one dared ask. The nests were taken down, and everyone hoped that whatever had made them wouldn’t make them again.
But they would. They would.
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Notes:
1. Written on April 7th, 2023
“And now, Captain Crabclaw, you die!” the Admiral said with a gloating laugh. He lowered his sword which signalled to his guards it was time to raise their swords and poke Captain Crabclaw in the belly so that she stepped back that final step and fell off the gangplank and into the ocean with a loud, satisfying splash as she definitely died. “And so ends the tale of Captain Crabclaw. IN DEATH! There’s no coming back from that!”
“No!” whimpered Daniel.
“NOOOOOOOOO!” bellowed Claire.
“YES!” Ethel exulted, exultingly.
On screen there was much rejoicing, all the Admiral’s guards and soldiers and the bo’sun and some sort of swabbie cheering loudly and giving the Admiral a series of triumphant hurrahs before saluting him because Admirals like being saluted. Then he turned round and marched off towards his cabin.
Outside the door stood Captain Crabclaw, dripping wet, but smiling and definitely totally alive.
“NOOOOO!” wailed Ethel.
“YES!” Daniel cried.
“IN YOUR FACE ETHEL!” Claire shouted, throwing a cushion on the floor and stamping merrily on it for good measure.
“Captain Crabclaw!” the Admiral spluttered. “But how? You’re supposed to be dead!”
“You forgot one tiny detail, Admiral Humanhands!” Captain Crabclaw explained. “I can swim!”
“And so can I,” said her merman, as the camera moved over very slightly to show he was there too now.
Then the merman swung his long flowing totally amazing hair round and grabbed on to the mast and him and Captain Crabclaw swung across the deck in each other’s arms, Captain Crablcaw kicking absolutely everyone into the sea. Even the swabbie. And the bo’sun. And the Admiral’s snooty son and both of their wives.
And that was the end of that for another week. The incredible theme song played over the end credits and they made sure to click at exactly the right time so it went back to the theme song and played all of it instead of skipping on to the next episode, especially as this was the last episode and there wasn’t any more yet they’d have to wait for the new series NEXT YEAR!
“I wish I was Captain Crabclaw,” said Claire, as she mimed kicking absolutely everyone into the sea.
“I wish I was her merman,” said Daniel, as he swung his long hair that was like a viking’s hair around in the celebrated merman style.
“I wish I was whoever finally gets to kill Captain Crabclaw off for good,” said Ethel, swinging imaginary muskets around and firing at Claire in the way that would usually annoy Claire considerably but didn’t today because Claire was too busy kicking imaginary people into a dreamt up sea to notice.
“I wish I was in an entirely different cartoon altogether,” Tina said wistfully, as she looked briefly up from her book and then looked back down at her book and continued reading her book which was a good book that she liked a lot it was nice.
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Notes:
1. Written on March 30th, 2023
Late afternoon turned to early evening. Cherry blossom falling like summer snow.
When Eleonora first came to the town, everything was knee deep in snow for a whole week. Ever since she always thought the town, the true town, only exists in winter. The rest of the year all she sees is the bones beneath its fur.
Anna and Oya dreamt of confetti at a wedding both were too lazy to organise.
“On the moon we made our own snow,” Selene said wistfully. “By throwing dust up into the sky and letting gravity do the rest.”
Early evening turned to night. Shooting stars sparkling like celestial snow.
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Notes:
1. Written April 25th, 2023
“How much is that?”
“A pound.”
“How much is that?”
“A pound.”
“How much is that?”
“A pound. Everything’s a pound,” Simon said, simultaneously pointing to the sign that said, “Everything £1”.
“Oh,” said Claire. She opened up her palm a fraction and counted out her coins again. “Urgh. Wait, how much is that?”
“A pound.”
“They can’t ALL be a pound!?”
“A pound.”
“This is so unfair!”
“A pound. Everything’s a pound.”
“I told Daniel we shouldn’t have bought those penny sweets!”
“A pound.”
“But we bought those penny sweets!”
“A pound.”
“I DON’T EVEN LIKE PENNY SWEETS!”
“A pound,” said Simon, dreaming of pounds. “Everything’s a pound.”
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Notes:
1. Written on March 30th, 2023
1. Lucy stood on the pier and looked out to sea. She did not care what was currently occurring behind her. The smoke of flames and ghosts neither mingle nor mix.
2. The dogs ran beneath the moons at noon, howling at every single one with a joy that was hard for any human heart to possess.
3. Yulia lay in a boat at the harbour and dreamed a dream of a dream within a dream, waking luxuriously from each one over the course of an especially decadent hour. Even the mermaid was jealous.
4. Smoke billowed up like volcanic clouds from the centre of town. Alarms sounded and were subsequently ignored.
5. The blinds in the mayor’s office opened briefly for a moment, then closed again before anyone had noticed.
6. The whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and the whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and not once did they blink or back down.
7. Edith’s barbecue clearly did not go as planned, but she insisted afterwards that in fact it absolutely had.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on May 17th, 2022