1. Drought
2. Famine
3. Disease
4. War
5. Radiation
6. Irradiation
7. Irrationality/psychosis
8. End of oil
9. End of electricity
10. Reality collapse
11. Clocks no longer tell the correct time
12. Hot
13. Cold
14. Wet
15. Mould
16. Usurped by cats
17. Enslaved by cats
18. Abandoned by cats
19. Ignored by cats
20. Enslaved/usurped by aliens
21. Ignored by aliens (and cats)
__________
Notes:
1. Written on August 7, 2023
__________1. A dream
2. A dream within a dream
3. A dream within a dream within a dream
4. A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream
5. A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream
6. A nightmare
__________
Notes:
1. Written on November 11th, 2023
__________A Day Out – The others said it was cheating to use this for A but I don’t care what they say.
Big Wheel – It went round and around until we got on and then it stopped. Everyone blamed Claire except Claire, who blamed everyone except Claire.
Candy Floss – Mum said we wouldn’t like this and she was right!
Dagger Throwing – We are NEVER allowed to do this at home.
Eggs (Pickled) – “It’s not a picnic without pickled eggs” says Mum (and no one else).
Fortune Teller – Apparently Tina’s going to get married! To a boy!
Gargantuan – What an amazing word. “The circus was gargantuan!”
Horror (House Of) – Daniel had a nose bleed in here.
Idiots (AKA Clowns) – They grow their faces in jars. Maybe they should keep them there.
Jugglers – Mum hates jugglers but will never tell us why. She wouldn’t let them teach us anything. We weren’t even allowed to watch.
King – Tina said he wasn’t the real King but then why was he wearing a crown?
Lady Luck – She told us we’d win but we didn’t win a thing (except for Daniel but he was cheating). Never trust Lady Luck!
Mirrors (Hall Of) – This made Claire absolutely furious!
Night – It was day when we went in, but night when we came out. I said this was magical and Mum agreed but then Claire said it was just the passing of time and she stamped in a puddle to prove it. (I still thought it was magical!)
Oracle – Apparently Tina’s going to get married! To a different boy!
Pennies – I found four and Tina found three but Claire and Daniel found EIGHT! But then I found a pound so who won really? (Claire and Daniel did it was a draw).
Queen – Tina said she wasn’t the real Queen but then why was she drinking all that tea?
Robots – Supposedly these aren’t “traditional”. But they were the best bit!
Selkie – Basically a mermaid. It’s a good thing Dad wasn’t here or he’d have gone all weird again.
Taffy – Mum said we wouldn’t like this and she was wrong!
Unicyclists – (see Jugglers)
Vampire – Mum said he wasn’t a vampire he was the ringmaster but he was definitely a vampire you could tell it was obvious.
Water – £5
Xtremely Unfunny – We didn’t laugh once (not even Daniel).
Y – Good question!
Zebras – There were some horses and that was as close as we ever got to a Z.
__________
Notes:
1. Written between the 11th and the 14th of July, 2023
__________In Ted’s collection of Ted’s things in Ted’s shoeboxes in Ted’s shed in Ted’s Mum’s garden there currently resided:
1. Spider (large)
2. Spiders (small)
3. Cockroach collection
4. Mouse (dead) + maggots (not dead)
5. Slow worm
6. Fast worm
7. More worms (various speeds)
8. [Escaped]
9. Stick insect
10. Stick that looks like an insect
11. Cocoon (unknown inhabitant)
12. Wasps’ nest (empty)
13. Bee hive (full)
14. Ant colony (writhing)
15. Cat (asleep)
16. Rock that looks like a fossil but probably isn’t a fossil
17. Rock that doesn’t look like a fossil but actually is a fossil
18. Assorted skulls
19. Assorted bones
20. Snails
21. Slugs
22. Slugs AND snails
23. Venus fly traps (plus slugs)
24. Shoes (plus snails)
25. Feathers (unsorted)
26. Eggs (dozen)
27. Discarded Selenite shell
28. Doll (awake)
29. Rusted toy car collection (plus a space shuttle)
30. Toenails/teeth (own)
31-50. [Awaiting exhibits]
___________
Notes:
1. Written on 26th May, 2023
2. Ted previously appeared in Tale #34: The Boy With The Box
3. In case you had forgotten such a memorable chapter in all our lives
1. Lucy stood on the pier and looked out to sea. She did not care what was currently occurring behind her. The smoke of flames and ghosts neither mingle nor mix.
2. The dogs ran beneath the moons at noon, howling at every single one with a joy that was hard for any human heart to possess.
3. Yulia lay in a boat at the harbour and dreamed a dream of a dream within a dream, waking luxuriously from each one over the course of an especially decadent hour. Even the mermaid was jealous.
4. Smoke billowed up like volcanic clouds from the centre of town. Alarms sounded and were subsequently ignored.
5. The blinds in the mayor’s office opened briefly for a moment, then closed again before anyone had noticed.
6. The whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and the whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and not once did they blink or back down.
7. Edith’s barbecue clearly did not go as planned, but she insisted afterwards that in fact it absolutely had.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on May 17th, 2022
__________