__________patreon or my ko-fi. Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). Thank you!
An artefact from another world, The Islands Of The World is a guidebook to the many strange and wonderful places that exist out there across the endless immensity of the seas.
Here among these hundred islands you will find wonders and whales, mountains and mermaids, sorrow and silence, forever frozen fields and ever-burning flames, alongside a treasure trove of carefully curated illustrations from around the world.
1. Written between the 1st and the 9th of September, 2021
2. The book version is quite nice
3. But also you can read it all for free on its own website if you want
4. And there’s also a full indexing of all the images I used there too
5. Alongside some more notes not included here
6. I like notes
7. Sorry about that
“It was the end of the 21st century. The space race had been won. The solar system had been colonised, the limits of human expansion had been reached. We had everything we wanted right here. Total corporate control of civilisation had been achieved. Quantum computing and nanotech alchemy allowed for the creation of any and every desired product at the instant of verified order confirmation and successful payment processing.
“It was a true utopia for all.
“In a world like this, there was only one frontier left on which any self respecting decillionaire could compete, and that was to try and perfect the ultimate technology and finally create a fully autonomous Female Kill Machine.”
Female Kill Machine is a lightning-paced absurdist quantum explosion of ever-escalating cyberpunk insanity and hyperviolence from the popular children’s author of Spiders Are Wonderful and Do Not Disturb The Dragon. Available on ko-fi (pay what you want); amazon (£2.99, or free on kindle unlimited); itunes (£2.99) and patreon (free for subscribers).
It’s about 25000 words / 120 pages long. It’s quite good please read it and maybe even recommend it to other people who you think might well want to read it too. Thank you.
1. Female Kill Machine was written between Monday 26th July, 2021 and Sunday 8th August, 2021
2. And edited on Monday 9th August, 2021
3. And then published on Tuesday 10th August, 2021
4. No point hanging around
5. It’s not like this is going to get any better with time
6. But still I hope you enjoyed it
7. And I’m sorry if you didn’t
On May 3rd, 2003, I got a digital camera as a present from my parents. I was 24, living at home, and in the middle of doing my degree. We had two cats, and were soon to get a third.
Like everyone else with their first digital camera, I immediately spent the next month taking pictures of all the incredibly mundane things you were never really allowed to take pictures of before. Bookshelves and bathrooms and carpets and curtains. Desktops, cupboards, TV screens. Cats. So many cats.
Then I forgot all about ever taking them, and never looked at any of them again until now.
So here are nearly a thousand pictures of Essex, England, in May 2003. Almost all of them are extremely boring. A significant proportion of them are either of myself or my cats. 99% of them are in 640*480 format. 23% of them are extremely blurry.
Essex, England, May 2003
3rd May, 2003
5th May, 2003
7th May, 2003
8th May, 2003 (afternoon)
8th May, 2003 (evening)
9th May, 2003
10th May, 2003
11th May, 2003
14th May, 2003
15th May, 2003 (afternoon)
15th May, 2003 (evening)
16th May, 2003 (afternoon)
16th May, 2003 (evening)
17th May, 2003 (afternoon)
17th May, 2003 (evening)
18th May, 2003
19th May, 2003
24th May, 2003
25th May, 2003
26th May, 2003
27th May, 2003
28th May, 2003
30th May, 2003
1. I took these photos in May 2003
2. And made this website on March 12th and 13th, 2021
3. And I was going to write an essay explicating all the things I like about these pictures
4. But then I did not
5. Because it’s better just to look
6. At the past
7. Captured here in aspic
8. For the rest of known time
One of my stories, You Don’t Have To Read This, But I Hope You Do, has been chosen to appear in this weekend’s Liars’ League live literature event, Together And Apart. It’s being performed by Martine McMenemy, and can be watched live, along with four other stories, this weekend on their facebook channel, on Sunday 14th February, from 7pm.
If you join that group you should get sent an invite to the live show when it’s about to begin, hopefully.
Notes:patreon or my ko-fi. Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). Thank you!