Tales From The Town #118: Ted’s Shed

In Ted’s collection of Ted’s things in Ted’s shoeboxes in Ted’s shed in Ted’s Mum’s garden there currently resided:

1. Spider (large)
2. Spiders (small)
3. Cockroach collection
4. Mouse (dead) + maggots (not dead)
5. Slow worm
6. Fast worm
7. More worms (various speeds)
8. [Escaped]
9. Stick insect
10. Stick that looks like an insect
11. Cocoon (unknown inhabitant)
12. Wasps’ nest (empty)
13. Bee hive (full)
14. Ant colony (writhing)
15. Cat (asleep)
16. Rock that looks like a fossil but probably isn’t a fossil
17. Rock that doesn’t look like a fossil but actually is a fossil
18. Assorted skulls
19. Assorted bones
20. Snails
21. Slugs
22. Slugs AND snails
23. Venus fly traps (plus slugs)
24. Shoes (plus snails)
25. Feathers (unsorted)
26. Eggs (dozen)
27. Discarded Selenite shell
28. Doll (awake)
29. Rusted toy car collection (plus a space shuttle)
30. Toenails/teeth (own)
31-50. [Awaiting exhibits]

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Notes:

1. Written on 26th May, 2023
2. Ted previously appeared in Tale #34: The Boy With The Box
3. In case you had forgotten such a memorable chapter in all our lives

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Tales From The Town #108: Seven Unrelated Incidents From Around The Town On A Bank Holiday Weekend In Early May

1. Lucy stood on the pier and looked out to sea. She did not care what was currently occurring behind her. The smoke of flames and ghosts neither mingle nor mix.

2. The dogs ran beneath the moons at noon, howling at every single one with a joy that was hard for any human heart to possess.

3. Yulia lay in a boat at the harbour and dreamed a dream of a dream within a dream, waking luxuriously from each one over the course of an especially decadent hour. Even the mermaid was jealous.

4. Smoke billowed up like volcanic clouds from the centre of town. Alarms sounded and were subsequently ignored.

5. The blinds in the mayor’s office opened briefly for a moment, then closed again before anyone had noticed.

6. The whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and the whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and not once did they blink or back down.

7. Edith’s barbecue clearly did not go as planned, but she insisted afterwards that in fact it absolutely had.

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Notes:

1. Written on May 17th, 2022

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A List Of The First 101 Tales From The Town And Who Primarily They Are About

For no real reason other than it’s kind of useful, here’s a complete list of Tales From The Town episodes so far (and who they’re primarily about):

Tales From The Town #0: A Cast Of Characters (introductions to every one and every where)

Volume 1: Part 1 – Summer

Volume 1: Part 2 – Winter

Volume 2: Part 1 – Other Stories

Tales From The Town #53: The Penguin (The Penguin)
Tales From The Town #54: Pollen Days (Tina)
Tales From The Town #55: The Worst Idea Ever (Claire, Daniel, Ethel, Tina)

Volume 2: Part 2 – The Lodger Suite

Volume 2: Part 3 – The Lodger Suite

Volume 2: Part 4 – Other Stories

Tales From The Town #87: The Very Best Idea Ever (Claire, Daniel, Ethel, Tina)
Tales From The Town #88: The Ever Growing Urge To Do Something Else Other Than This (Claire)
Tales From The Town #89: The Penguin Again (The Penguin)
Tales From The Town #90: The End Of The Year (Agnes)

Volume 3 (Not Yet Named)

Bonus Tales

Pocket Editions #1 (2021)
Pocket Editions #2 (2021)
Pocket Editions #3 (2022)
Pocket Editions #4 (2022)
Tales From The Town: A Summer Book (2022)

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The Safe

Inside the safe is:

£100
Watch
List of everyone I ever loved
Several previously unrevealed fears
Passport
Book of passwords
Keys to several long lost doors
And a map to an undisclosed location

Go ahead. Try all you like. If you can open it, they’re yours.

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Notes:

1. Written on March 17th, 2023

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8 Little Known Facts About Well Known Science Fiction And Fantasy Authors

#1: Stephen King cannot spell the word “succinct”. Luckily he has an editor who can. (The editor was fired in 1989.)

#2: Though he never used it in any of his books, MR James’s favourite English word was “velveteen”, describing it in private as “sensuous, seductive.”

#3: Angela Carter modified her typewriter so that the i’s were dotted with lovehearts.

#4: Frank Herbert was addicted to mulberries to such an extent people often thought he was wearing lipstick.

#5: Vladimir Nabakov found England so bewildering he later described it as a “spacious and pretentious place with maudlin [figures] in various postures and states of enchantment amid a medley of pallid animals, dryads and trees.”

#6: HP Lovecraft was an absolute fool.

#7: Jules Verne was scared of brass bands (though he was quite fond of the sound of bells).

#8: Neil Gaiman once got lost in Soho. He was never seen again.

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Notes:

1. Written on the 24th August, 2022
2. Every fact is 100% true.

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an accumulation of things

lists

Tales From The Town #118: Ted’s Shed

Support An Accumulation Of Things

Tales From The Town #108: Seven Unrelated Incidents From Around The Town On A Bank Holiday Weekend In Early May

Support An Accumulation Of Things

A List Of The First 101 Tales From The Town And Who Primarily They Are About

Support An Accumulation Of Things

The Safe

Support An Accumulation Of Things

8 Little Known Facts About Well Known Science Fiction And Fantasy Authors

Support An Accumulation Of Things