Saturday Afternoon Ikea Trip Simulator

Saturday Afternoon Ikea Trip Simulator is a one joke text adventure designed to simulate the experience of going to Ikea on a Saturday afternoon (other times of day and/or days of the week are available upon request).

Begin your Saturday afternoon Ikea trip simulation here

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Notes:

1. Made between October 30th and November 2nd, 2021
2. It’s made in TWINE, so should hopefully work in all and any browsers, but I cannot guarantee it.
3. I haven’t actually been to an Ikea in two years so it’s possible this is by now all horribly out of date.
4. I will hopefully never find out enough to know.
5. For more information about Ikea, please read this important piece of reportage, live from my 40th birthday

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Thank you!


Fifteen Monsters All In A Row

A couple of years ago, my niece (then 5) and my nephew (who was 2), wanted to design a computer game, so we designed a computer game. Then I spent so long getting round to actually making it that now she’s 7, and he’s 4. But at least it got made, so I’m not that terrible after all. Just quite slow.

So here’s Fifteen Monsters All In A Row (It’s made in TWINE so should work in pretty much any web browser).

Now Fifteen Monsters All In A Row is a game about fifteen monsters, all in a row. Can you make your way past them and reach the end? And more importantly, will you do it nicely, or horribly? It is, I suppose, up to you.

This game contains 15 monsters (all in a row), several secret monsters (occasionally in a row), multiple solutions to every problem (almost), some exciting stories (occasionally), at least two jokes, and even a super secret special ending.

And also a mystery mon.

Estimated Playthrough Time: 10 minutes
Estimated Replayability Factor: Infinite

Fifteen Monsters All In A Row (an adventure game by Florence, Patrick and David)


CREDITS

Fifteen Monsters All In A Row

A game about monsters.

Game Design by Florence and David
Game Programming by David
Monster Designs And Descriptions by David, Florence, Patrick, and Julie
Stories by Florence and David

(This exciting monster isn’t in the game, but is standing on a list of secrets, or maybe spoilers, from the game. So that’s why he’s here.)

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Notes:

1. This was designed in 2018, and made in 2019, and then bugfixed in 2020
2. No one knows who the mystery mon is
3. Or how it got there
4. Or what it’s doing there
5. But it is there
6. Somewhere

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


from the archives of Essex Terror: Home Of Hell!

Home Of Hell! is an exciting, terrifying, incomprehensibly horrifying choose your own adventure story where YOU! are the hero.

Presented here in an interactive browser-playable format for THE VERY FIRST TIME! Home of Hell is possibly the most exciting adventure story you will ever play this afternoon.

Play Home Of Hell here

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Notes:

1. Home Of Hell was originally written in November 2011
2. But has since been re-written
3. And updated
4. I’m not sure if this has ever been published online before
5. And if it was it was only as a pdf
6. Of the print version
7. That sold 10 copies
8. Or maybe 9

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!