1. Written on September 6th, 2009
2. And based on a true story
When I was little, we had a set of dinner plates with illustrated cats prancing in a circle round the edges. There was an error on one of the four plates, so a single cat had no tail.
This was always the plate to have. Tears were often shed in pursuit of its imperfection.
1. Written on September 7th, 2019__________patreon. Cheers.
“I saw a cat here once.
“It was walking along the path from gate to gate, from grave to grave. I was sat on the steps of that old tomb there, just waiting around like today. Loitering, lingering. And I watched it walking around for a while. It hadn’t seen me, or if it had it hadn’t cared enough to show it, and I felt as if I was witness to some great secret, or some intimate privacy. Something, anyway, that I wasn’t supposed to see.
“And so, really, I shouldn’t have made myself known. It’s always a cruelty to do that, to someone who believed themselves alone. I should have left, and let it be. But I could not. It was a cat. A cat! How could I resist? So I called it to me on its next circuit past, made that old noise my mother used to use to call our cats in at night when I was a child, that horrible old sound they couldn’t ever resist, their ears and then their bodies turning inexorably towards the noise, towards my mother as she called. Vvvvvvvvvvrm! Vvvvvvvvvrm!
“The cat stopped in its stride and looked at me, and then came, slowly, towards me, head cocked to the side, meowing in return, imitating my sound as best it could. And then when it reached me it pushed itself heavily against my leg as if in greeting.
“As I leant down to stroke it, a shadow cast itself over everything, somehow, looming over me from behind. I felt a hand upon my shoulder, and the cat slipped past my legs and hurried up the steps on which I was sat.
“Yet when I turned to look there was nothing behind me but the sealed doors of the tomb.”
1. Written on 26th July, 2015
2. Although this pared down version is from July 2018
I had a dream about cats
and going to the special cat park
where all the stray cats live
in nice little brick cottages
which look like human houses
except they’re only six foot high
Non-stray cats are allowed in the park too
as long as they’re on leads
And people are only allowed in if they’re walking their cat
on a lead
or two cats, on two leads
or three on three
and so on
up to whatever the theoretical cats on leads limit is
But I didn’t have a cat
because I was catless
so I had to watch from outside
through the railings
I bought a postcard from the shop by the gates
and a magnet for my fridge
and listened to the stray cats sing
and watched the non-stray cats dance
which they all did
for an hour
Once it got dark they locked the gates
and everyone and their cats went home
And who knew what it was the stray cats did then
in their houses
in the dark
in the park
where the stray cats live
1. Written on April 15th, 2019
2. and based on a dream
3. I had
4. about cats
5. Also, if you set this to music, it should probably be to this music