Brids, Sfish, And Other Amals

A simple toy that creates hybrid animals by swapping their heads and bodies around, Brids, Sfish, and Other Amals was made using twine, with public domain nature illustrations largely collected from the wonderful old book illustrations website.

You can use it here and/or here if you want, and make various creatures like those below.

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Notes:

1. I made this between late August and early October, 2023
2. It was originally intended to be actual printed cards, for my nieces/nephews
3. But the logistics of actually printing cards put paid to that idea
4. I’m afraid

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!

An Abundance Of Beasts

An Abundance Of Beasts (also available here) is an endless medieval bestiary generator, largely utilising information from the always wonderful Medieval Bestiary: Animals In The Middle Ages website and a lovely translated copy of the Bodleian Library Bestiary, and then pieced together using twine.

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Notes:

1. This was made in August 2023

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Absurdist Conversation Generator

The Absurdist Conversation Generator generates absurdist conversations and nothing more. Contains 1,500,625 conversations!

(Available here and here)

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Notes:

1. This was made on July 29th, 2023
2. Using TWINE again

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Unwanted Conversation Generator

Please note usage of the Unwanted Conversation Generator is undertaken at the user’s own risk.

1. Opening Gambit (please select only one topic from this section)

a) Is it okay if I sit there?
b) Is anyone sitting there?
c) Is this seat taken?
d) Mind if i join you?

If the answer to your question is Yes, sit down and proceed to section 2. However, if the answer is No, sit down and proceed to section 2.

2. General Topic (beginners should choose only one from this section, though more experienced players may wish to select multiple possibilities in a combination of their choice)

a) What are you drinking?
b) What are you reading?
c) What are you listening to?
d) What are you typing?
e) What are you talking about?

3. Response Strategy (please select one strategy from each section, to be deployed in order)

3.1 (Initiation Phase)

a) Listen to answer
b) Don’t listen to answer
c) Interrupt answer
d) Yawn
e) Laugh

3.2 (Groundwork)

a) Actually…
b) Well, the thing is…
c) See, where you’re wrong…
d) Nah…

3.3 (Placement)

a) Just my opinion on things.
b) Not that I’d expect you to understand.
c) Course you can’t say that nowadays.
d) Only joking.

3.4 (Detonation)

a) Mate
b) Love

4. Closing Emotion (freeform round)

a) Laughter
b) Anger
c) Indignation
d) Abuse
e) Apologetic Ingratiation
f) Eye roll
g) Yawn
h) Hurt
i) Confusion
j) Ostentatious concentration on own phone
k) Other
l) All of the above

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Notes:

1. Written on November 15th, 2022

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a list of things

a bathtub full of dust
a cracked and speckled egg
cobwebs on a cats whiskers
an old coat that no longer fits
but which is much nicer than any that still do
a single old streetlight that no ones got round to updating to something newer and brighter and less evocatively orange
old cigarette packet in dried up ditch
a picture of my mother from before i was born
old list found in drawer with nothing ticked off
a box full of obsolete technology
suddenly remembered old shame that feels like new again
pens with no lids
pens with wrong lids
pens
remembering the existence of tipp ex
but not the spelling
itchiness
vague unease
slight twinge in neck
forgotten promise
a strange desire to disown myself
bedraggled cat wrapped in towel
the use of actual money in an actual shop in the actual world in actual life
someone saying something and then you saying something and then someone else saying something and then you saying something and then you saying something else then you both saying something then someone saying something then a long lingering silence then you saying something then
a market stall filled with bags of unmarked meat
looking out of the window only to notice someone else looking in the window
contrails forming noughts and crosses board
dreams of the moon
an overabundance of sweat despite total inactivity
bloodied gums
distant fox screams
the same song on repeat for over half an hour
bed time
death
end of list

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Notes:

1. Written on June 12th, 2020

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