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<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup</strong>
"Come one! Come all! And welcome to the ultimate test of skill... That's right, live from the Independent Monetary Kingdom of Coinland, it's time once again for The Coin Toss World Cup! 8 billion players from all around the world! One solitary winner! Who will it be? Who knows! But it could be you! And it <strong>has</strong> to be someone!"
[[Enter The Coin Toss World Cup]]
<<set $plays to 0>><<set $wins to 0>><<set $winpercentage to 0>><<set $cupentries to 0>><<set $cupwins to 0>><<set $cupwinpercentage to 0>><<set $winnings to 0>><<set $winningsaverage to 0>><<set $heads to 0>><<set $headswon to 0>><<set $headswonpercentage to 0>><<set $headspercentage to 0>><<set $tails to 0>><<set $tailswon to 0>><<set $tailswonpercentage to 0>><<set $tailspercentage to 0>><<set $furthest to 0>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 1</strong>
<strong>Round 1 Participants:</strong> 8,589,934,592
<strong>Round 1 Prize Money (total):</strong> £8,589,934,592
<strong>Round 1 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1
"Right, are we all here?" the enthusiastic animated coin asks. "What am I saying, of course you are! Participation is mandatory! Why? Because THOSE ARE THE RULES! Now all you have to do is choose!"
[[Heads|Round 1 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 1 Tails]]?
<<set $cupentries += 1>><<if $furthest lt 1>><<set $furthest to 1>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 1 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1>><<set $plays += 1>>
On your screen the Coin King himself flips the first coin of this year's championships up into the air, and you watch, you all watch, every single human on earth watches as it rises, turning mesmerically over and over again, catching the light of the artificially generated sun right at the apex of its arc, before it begins its descent, spinning, turning, finally landing on the emulated grass of the royal hunting fields of Coinland.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
The animated coin compere holds two fingers up to the camera in the internationally accepted sign of victory.
"But what do you win? Well, along with the satisfaction of knowing you're better at this than 50% of the entire global population, you win... A POUND! <strong>And</strong> you're through to the next round!"
On to [[Round 2]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
Then the animated coin compere smiles one last time, winks, tips its hat, and holds up two fingers in the regionally accepted sign of goodbye.
"But don't fret, don't cry, don't fall into despair, because in the Coin Toss World Cup, everyone's a winner. Even the losers! Yep, that's right, we pay <em>you</em> to play. So take this coin (value: one exact whole pound, or equivalent local electronic currency), and do with it whatever you want! The possibilities are literally endless (while stocks last)!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 1 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1>><<set $plays += 1>>
On your screen the Coin King himself flips the first coin of this year's championships up into the air, and you watch, you all watch, every single human on earth watches as it rises, turning mesmerically over and over again, catching the light of the artificially generated sun right at the apex of its arc, before it begins its descent, spinning, turning, finally landing on the emulated grass of the royal hunting fields of Coinland.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
The animated coin compere holds two fingers up to the camera in the internationally accepted sign of victory.
"But what do you win? Well, along with the satisfaction of knowing you're better at this than 50% of the entire global population, you win... A POUND! <strong>And</strong> you're through to the next round!"
On to [[Round 2]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
Then the animated coin compere smiles one last time, winks, tips its hat, and holds up two fingers in the regionally accepted sign of goodbye.
"But don't fret, don't cry, don't fall into despair, because in the Coin Toss World Cup, everyone's a winner. Even the losers! Yep, that's right, we pay <em>you</em> to play. So take this coin (value: one exact whole pound, or equivalent local electronic currency), and do with it whatever you want! The possibilities are literally endless (while stocks last)!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>Personal Statistics</strong><<if $cupentries>0>><<set $cupwinpercentage to $cupwins / $cupentries>><<set $cupwinpercentage to $cupwinpercentage * 100>><<set $winningsaverage to $winnings / $cupentries>><</if>><<if $plays>0>><<set $winpercentage to $wins / $plays>><<set $headspercentage to $heads / $plays>><<set $tailspercentage to $tails / $plays>><<set $winpercentage to $winpercentage * 100>><<set $headspercentage to $headspercentage * 100>><<set $tailspercentage to $tailspercentage * 100>><</if>><<if $heads>0>><<set $headswonpercentage to $headswon/$heads>><<set $headswonpercentage to $headswonpercentage*100>><</if>><<if $tails>0>><<set $tailswonpercentage to $tailswon/$tails>><<set $tailswonpercentage to $tailswonpercentage*100>><</if>>
<strong>Cups Entered:</strong> $cupentries
<strong>Cups Won:</strong> $cupwins ($cupwinpercentage%)
<strong>Furthest Round Reached:</strong> $furthest
<strong>Ties played:</strong> $plays
<strong>Ties won:</strong> $wins ($winpercentage%)
<strong>Times Chosen Heads:</strong> $heads ($headspercentage%)
<strong>Times Won With Heads:</strong> $headswon ($headswonpercentage%)
<strong>Times Chosen Tails:</strong> $tails ($tailspercentage%)
<strong>Times Won With Tails:</strong> $tailswon ($tailswonpercentage%)
<strong>Total Prize Money Won:</strong> £$winnings (£$winningsaverage per year)<strong>The Rules Of The Game</strong>
"The rules are quite simple," the omnipresent Coin Toss World Cup host/mascot/commentator/cheerleading entity tells you. "Choose heads! Choose tails! It's up to you! Just choose wisely, my friends, because if you're wrong, you're GONE! And then where will you be? OUT! That's where!! But if you win, you're IN! (To the next round.)"
The cheaply animated coin avatar for the entire enterprise gives a knowing wink, then backflips and starts its entire repetitious loop again.
"Told you it was simple! Now let's begin!"
[[Round 1]]
<<include "Personal Statistics">> "Well, there's always next year, isn't there?" the coin suggests, as your connection to the cup is severed and you're left with nothing but reality for comfort. It seems so distant, though. A whole nother year of obsessing over your personal statistics, analysing them for weaknesses in your game, in your <em>self</em>, a whole nother year of training, of striving to improve your skills, of trying to become <em>worthy</em> enough to win.
<<include "Personal Statistics">>
And before you know it, a familiar voice is crying out from the screen of your phone.
"Come one! Come all! And welcome to the ultimate test of skill... That's right, it's time once again for The Coin Toss World Cup! 8 billion players! One winner! Who will it be? Who knows! But it could be you! And it <strong>has</strong> to be someone!"
[[Enter The Coin Toss World Cup]]<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 2</strong>
<strong>Round 2 Participants:</strong> 4,294,967,296
<strong>Round 2 Prize Money (total):</strong> £17,179,869,184
<strong>Round 2 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4
"Well, would you look at that!" the animated coin squeals, pointing to the prize money-o-meter. "Half the players, twice the rewards! How does that work, I hear you ask? Well, I don't know, but it does! Just trust me on this. It's called fairness. For each according to their talent shall each receive their reward. To the winners the spoils. And to the losers, all that they deserve!"
A deranged dance around the screen to fill some time, before it stops and points straight at you.
"NOW CHOOSE!"
[[Heads|Round 2 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 2 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 2>><<set $furthest to 2>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 2 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4>><<set $plays += 1>>
The Coin King's gone now. Only the host remains. The host and the coin, which rises, which falls, which lands.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
The animated coin holds two fingers up to the camera in the accepted international sign of victory. Then its other hand goes up. The same gesture again.
"Oh me, oh my! Two rounds, two victories. For those sore losers out there who say this is a game of luck, well, I'd like to see them explain this. You're running at over twice the odds! Luck? Bah! I'd call that talent. Wouldn't you?"
And you're into [[Round 3]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Well now, isn't that shame. Out you go." The animated coin adopts a sad stance, respectful of the occasion, before holding up two fingers in the regionally accepted sign of goodbye. Then its other hand goes up. The same gesture again. "Still, at least you found your level, I suppose. And earned another FOUR WHOLE POUNDS (or globally accepted equivalent converted to four decimal places of accuracy)! Imagine what you could buy with that! Several things of minor monetary value! Or maybe even less!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 2 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4>><<set $plays += 1>>
The Coin King's gone now. Only the host remains. The host and the coin, which rises, which falls, which lands.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
The animated coin holds two fingers up to the camera in the accepted international sign of victory. Then its other hand goes up. The same gesture again.
"Oh me, oh my! Two rounds, two victories. For those sore losers out there who say this is a game of luck, well, I'd like to see them explain this. You're running at over twice the odds! Luck? Bah! I'd call that talent. Wouldn't you?"
And you're into [[Round 3]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Well now, isn't that shame. Out you go." The animated coin adopts a sad stance, respectful of the occasion, before holding up two fingers in the regionally accepted sign of goodbye. Then its other hand goes up. The same gesture again. "Still, at least you found your level, I suppose. And earned another FOUR WHOLE POUNDS (or globally accepted equivalent converted to four decimal places of accuracy)! Imagine what you could buy with that! Several things of minor monetary value! Or maybe even less!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 3</strong>
<strong>Round 3 Participants:</strong> 2,147,483,648
<strong>Round 3 Prize Money (total):</strong> £34,359,738,368
<strong>Round 3 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £16
"Round 3, here we are!" the animated coin annoyance squeals, pointing to the particimeter. "Just think, it's taken less than two flips of my coin to prove you're better than literally 75% of the people on Earth! Not bad, not bad. But still a long way to go to be the best!"
Not even a pause or a transition this time, the coin simply barking "NOW CHOOSE!" at you in the middle of some unrelated animation cycle.
[[Heads|Round 3 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 3 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 3>><<set $furthest to 3>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> by David Guy
[[patreon|https://www.patreon.com/davidguy]]
[[ko-fi|https://ko-fi.com/davidnguy]]
[[itch.io|https://dngdng.itch.io]]
[[more|https://accumulationofthings.com]]
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 3 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 16>><<set $plays += 1>>
Once again the tossed coin rises, the tossed coin falls, the tossed coin lands. You're going to have to get used to watching this if you want to get all the way to the end. And even if you don't, most likely.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Wow! Aren't you the up and coming talent. Three spins, three wins! You're onto something good here. Something real good. It's going to be interesting seeing how far you can go with skills like these!"
And you're into [[Round 4]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
The animated coin can barely bring itself to look at you.
"Useless. Simply useless," it says, shaking its head. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Now take your money (£16+£4+£1) and run."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 3 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 16>><<set $plays += 1>>
Once again the tossed coin rises, the tossed coin falls, the tossed coin lands. You're going to have to get used to watching this if you want to get all the way to the end. And even if you don't, most likely.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Wow! Aren't you the up and coming talent. Three spins, three wins! You're onto something good here. Something real good. It's going to be interesting seeing how far you can go with skills like these!"
And you're into [[Round 4]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
The animated coin can barely bring itself to look at you.
"Useless. Simply useless," it says, shaking its head. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Now take your money (£16+£4+£1) and run."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 4</strong>
<strong>Round 4 Participants:</strong> 1,073,741,824
<strong>Round 4 Prize Money (total):</strong> £34,359,738,368
<strong>Round 4 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £64
"Now, how about that! Just about a billion of you left! It's amazing how these early rounds really cut down the numbers!" the host coin trills. "And that's because the Coin Toss World Cup only cares about the best! So there's no time to waste. Let's get rid of half the rest! CHOOOOOOOSE!"
[[Heads|Round 4 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 4 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 4>><<set $furthest to 4>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 4 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 64>><<set $plays += 1>>
Each round the coin seems to spend longer in the air, come closer to the screen, come closer to you. But in the end, it always falls away, and about that there's nothing you can do.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"I don't know how you wonderful boys and girls out there are doing this, but it's so heartening to see that you are! Onwards, upwards, forwards, skywards we go! Towards ever greater victories and even greater rewards!"
And you're into [[Round 5]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Not bad, not bad," the host coin says. "But not exactly good either. Have fun with your funds, I suppose. But be quick, because I hear prices this year are just going up, up, UP!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 4 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 64>><<set $plays += 1>>
Each round the coin seems to spend longer in the air, come closer to the screen, come closer to you. But in the end, it always falls away, and about that there's nothing you can do.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"I don't know how you wonderful boys and girls out there are doing this, but it's so heartening to see that you are! Onwards, upwards, forwards, skywards we go! Towards ever greater victories and even greater rewards!"
And you're into [[Round 5]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Not bad, not bad," the host coin says. "But not exactly good either. Have fun with your funds, I suppose. But be quick, because I hear prices this year are just going up, up, UP!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 5</strong>
<strong>Round 5 Participants:</strong> 536,870,912
<strong>Round 5 Prize Money (total):</strong> £137,438,953,472
<strong>Round 5 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £256
"Round 5's where this game really comes alive!" the host boasts. "Half a billion in, 8 billion out. I can feel the tension building! Can't you? Every round round here's more important than the last! Don't let anyone tell you different. Winning <em>matters</em>."
[[Heads|Round 5 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 5 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 5>><<set $furthest to 5>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 5 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 256>><<set $plays += 1>>
The mesmeric gyrations of an airborne coin never cease to enthral.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"YES! Just YES!" the host coin says, screaming into the camera, fist pumping to the adoring crowds. And you're right there, too, lost in joy at the incredible nature of your hard won success. "YESSSSSSSSSS!"
And you're into [[Round 6]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Nooooooo...." The host coin says, on its knees, trying to hold back the tears, trying to hold back the soul-sapping despair.
Then it brightens up, jumps to its feet, and gratefully accepts the cheque for £256 (plus earlier round appearance fees) on your behalf.
"A big thank you to all my sponsors! And especially to the organisers of the Coin Toss World Cup! Long live The International Federation Of Coin Toss Associations! Long live the new currency!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 5 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 256>><<set $plays += 1>>
The mesmeric gyrations of an airborne coin never cease to enthral.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"YES! Just YES!" the host coin says, screaming into the camera, fist pumping to the adoring crowds. And you're right there, too, lost in joy at the incredible nature of your hard won success. "YESSSSSSSSSS!"
And you're into [[Round 6]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Nooooooo...." The host coin says, on its knees, trying to hold back the tears, trying to hold back the soul-sapping despair.
Then it brightens up, jumps to its feet, and gratefully accepts the cheque for £256 (plus earlier round appearance fees) on your behalf.
"A big thank you to all my sponsors! And especially to the organisers of the Coin Toss World Cup! Long live The International Federation Of Coin Toss Associations! Long live the new currency!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 6</strong>
<strong>Round 6 Participants:</strong> 268,435,456
<strong>Round 6 Prize Money (total):</strong> £274,877,906,944
<strong>Round 6 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1024
"Round 6, round 6, what the heck can I say about round 6?" the coin host says, throwing its hands up in exasperation at the sheer impossibility of its task. "Well, I suppose we'll just have to say nothing at all about round 6. But that doesn't mean you don't still have to CHOOSE!"
[[Heads|Round 6 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 6 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 6>><<set $furthest to 6>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 6 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1024>><<set $plays += 1>>
The emojicoin's enthusiasm might be stalling, but the real coin itself never stops. Not till it lands at least.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Yeah, yeah, that'll do," the coin conundrum mumbles to itself with a shrug. "On you go."
And you're into [[Round 7]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Nah, nah, that's no good," the coin compere says. "No good at all."
So disappointed in you you don't even get a goodbye.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 6 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1024>><<set $plays += 1>>
The emojicoin's enthusiasm might be stalling, but the real coin itself never stops. Not till it lands at least.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Yeah, yeah, that'll do," the coin conundrum mumbles to itself with a shrug. "On you go."
And you're into [[Round 7]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Nah, nah, that's no good," the coin compere says. "No good at all."
So disappointed in you you don't even get a goodbye.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 7</strong>
<strong>Round 7 Participants:</strong> 134,217,728
<strong>Round 7 Prize Money (total):</strong> £549,755,813,888
<strong>Round 7 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4096
"Now this is more like it!" the coin compere says, its eyes twinkling with mischievous glee. "Round 7 is pound heaven!" A knowing wink at the camera, then feigned confusion. "I don't even know what that means, but at least it rhymes!"
[[Heads|Round 7 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 7 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 7>><<set $furthest to 7>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 7 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4096>><<set $plays += 1>>
The animation of the coin being tossed gets stretched out further round by round, the token twisting in the air at least half a turn more each time. But it works, oh how it works, the breath catching in your throat, anticipation holding your heart as still as can be until it falls, it lands, it stops and the host looks up at the camera and says,
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Seven wins in a row! I almost literally cannot believe it!" the host cries. "You'd think such a feat was impossible, but turns out there's 67 million of you out there with the talent to achieve it! What a world we live in! But don't get too cocky, cause there's still a long way to go in the Coin Toss World Cup!"
And you're into [[Round 8]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Well you had a decent run," the animated coin mascot commiserates. "But not in any way decent enough."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 7 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4096>><<set $plays += 1>>
The animation of the coin being tossed gets stretched out further round by round, the token twisting in the air at least half a turn more each time. But it works, oh how it works, the breath catching in your throat, anticipation holding your heart as still as can be until it falls, it lands, it stops and the host looks up at the camera and says,
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Seven wins in a row! I almost literally cannot believe it!" the host cries. "You'd think such a feat was impossible, but turns out there's 67 million of you out there with the talent to achieve it! What a world we live in! But don't get too cocky, cause there's still a long way to go in the Coin Toss World Cup!"
And you're into [[Round 8]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Well you had a decent run," the animated coin mascot commiserates. "But not in any way decent enough."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 8</strong>
<strong>Round 8 Participants:</strong> 67,108,864
<strong>Round 8 Prize Money (total):</strong> £1,099,511,627,776
<strong>Round 8 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £16384
"How does it feel to be one of the top 0.78125% people in the world?" the cute cartoon coin asks, eyes filled with pulsing love hearts, heart filled with pulsing coin love. "Pretty darn special, I expect? And about to get pretty darn specialler for a good 33554433 of you (+/- 1)! Now choose, my pretties. Chooose!"
[[Heads|Round 8 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 8 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 8>><<set $furthest to 8>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 8 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 16384>><<set $plays += 1>>
Everything stops except the coin. Then the coin stops, and everything starts once more.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"GET IN!" the coin shouts. "TO ROUND NINE!"
It doesn't rhyme, but the coin doesn't care. And neither do you. Victory is everything.
And you're into [[Round 9]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"GET OUT!" the coin shouts. "FROM ROUND EIGHT!"
It doesn't quite rhyme, but the coin doesn't care. And neither do you. Defeat is all encompassing.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 8 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 16384>><<set $plays += 1>>
Everything stops except the coin. Then the coin stops, and everything starts once more.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"GET IN!" the coin shouts. "TO ROUND NINE!"
It doesn't rhyme, but the coin doesn't care. And neither do you. Victory is everything.
And you're into [[Round 9]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"GET OUT!" the coin shouts. "FROM ROUND EIGHT!"
It doesn't quite rhyme, but the coin doesn't care. And neither do you. Defeat is all encompassing.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 9</strong>
<strong>Round 9 Participants:</strong> 33,554,432
<strong>Round 9 Prize Money (total):</strong> £2,199,023,255,552
<strong>Round 9 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £65,536
"Last of the single digit rounds," the mascot teases. "Get through this and you'll earn the chance to see the new coin! You don't want to miss out on that, I can tell you!"
[[Heads|Round 9 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 9 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 9>><<set $furthest to 9>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 9 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 65536>><<set $plays += 1>>
But for now it's still the old coin, tarnished gold turning under a simulated sun. Spinning, rising, falling, finally fallen for the very last time.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Now I'm sure the money is nice," the coin says, tipping its hat towards the figures on the screen and flashing you a dazzling smile. "But no one can resist a tease! So we all know it's the new coin you want to see rather than these old things..."
And you're into [[Round 10]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"At least you can console yourself with an above average living wage in winnings (losings?) this year," the hosting entity tells you. "But unless you improve soon, you'll never get to see the new coin in all its finery! And that's what <em>really</em> matters."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 9 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 65536>><<set $plays += 1>>
But for now it's still the old coin, tarnished gold turning under a simulated sun. Spinning, rising, falling, finally fallen for the very last time.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Now I'm sure the money is nice," the coin says, tipping its hat towards the figures on the screen and flashing you a dazzling smile. "But no one can resist a tease! So we all know it's the new coin you want to see rather than these old things..."
And you're into [[Round 10]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"At least you can console yourself with an above average living wage in winnings (losings?) this year," the hosting entity tells you. "But unless you improve soon, you'll never get to see the new coin in all its finery! And that's what <em>really</em> matters."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 10</strong>
<strong>Round 10 Participants:</strong> 16,777,216
<strong>Round 10 Prize Money (total):</strong> £4,398,046,511,104
<strong>Round 10 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £262,144
"ROUND 10!" the mascot announces, revelling in its new outfit, clothes spun from pure gold and a hat made of some substance even purer. "The start of something special! Oh yes, those already out can follow along at home, of course, on their unupdated apps and their semi-legal streams, but none of them get to see the new coin! They don't even get to see the new me! It's all outdated graphics and AI-recreated replays for those losers!"
[[Heads|Round 10 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 10 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 10>><<set $furthest to 10>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 10 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 262144>><<set $plays += 1>>
And here it is, the new coin. Bigger, wider, better, golder. Pure 100% in-play exclusive. Spinning in slow motion beneath a starry sky, creating at its apex a momentary lunar eclipse. Then all the way back down to the ground, where it lands with a satisfyingly solid haptic feedback enhanced whoooomph.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"The new coin likes you!" the announcer announces. "Not too much, I'm sure. But enough!"
And you're into [[Round 11]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"The new coin hates you!" the announcer announces. "I'm sorry, but it does! A lot!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 10 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 262144>><<set $plays += 1>>
And here it is, the new coin. Bigger, wider, better, golder. Pure 100% in-play exclusive. Spinning in slow motion beneath a starry sky, creating at its apex a momentary lunar eclipse. Then all the way back down to the ground, where it lands with a satisfyingly solid haptic feedback enhanced whoooomph.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"The new coin likes you!" the announcer announces. "Not too much, I'm sure. But enough!"
And you're into [[Round 11]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"The new coin hates you!" the announcer announces. "I'm sorry, but it does! A lot!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 11</strong>
<strong>Round 11 Participants:</strong> 8,388,608
<strong>Round 11 Prize Money (total):</strong> £8,796,093,022,208
<strong>Round 11 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1,048,576
"From 8 billion players, to 8 million!" the animated host boasts. "It's taken a while, I know, and it'll take twice as long to get rid of the rest. And it has definitely been worth it! But hey, don't get ahead of yourselves! First things first. And that's round 11! Let's play!"
[[Heads|Round 11 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 11 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 11>><<set $furthest to 11>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 11 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1048576>><<set $plays += 1>>
Silence as it spins. Not so much reverence for the coin as fear of failure. It's not about the money anymore, it's about the glory.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"How long has it been for you out there, anyway?" the emojicoin asks, looking at its watch and whistling. "Cause in here it feels like we've been doing this forever! Maybe we always will be! But even so, it's nice to have you with us a little longer."
And you're into [[Round 12]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"How long has it been for you out there, anyway?" the emojicoin asks, looking at its watch and whistling. "Cause in here it feels like we've barely begun! So it's a shame not to have you with us any longer..."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 11 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1048576>><<set $plays += 1>>
Silence as it spins. Not so much reverence for the coin as fear of failure. It's not about the money anymore, it's about the glory.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"How long has it been for you out there, anyway?" the emojicoin asks, looking at its watch and whistling. "Cause in here it feels like we've been doing this forever! Maybe we always will be! But even so, it's nice to have you with us a little longer."
And you're into [[Round 12]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"How long has it been for you out there, anyway?" the emojicoin asks, looking at its watch and whistling. "Cause in here it feels like we've barely begun! So it's a shame not to have you with us any longer..."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 12</strong>
<strong>Round 12 Participants:</strong> 4,194,304
<strong>Round 12 Prize Money (total):</strong> £17,592,186,044,416
<strong>Round 12 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4,194,304
"Such a beautiful symmetry in the numbers this round," the cartoon coin says, pointing to the participants and the prize payout placeholders. "But from here on in they're going to diverge at ever increasing rates! And oh boy is it going to be fun! Assuming you've got the talent to ride those slopes all the way to the end, that is!"
[[Heads|Round 12 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 12 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 12>><<set $furthest to 12>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 12 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4194304>><<set $plays += 1>>
The coin is everything. The coin is all. The coin is. The coin. <em>The</em>. <strong>Coin</strong>.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"You did it!" the compere tells you, all its gold teeth glittering in glorious glittervision. "And I never doubted you for a second!"
And you're into [[Round 13]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"You didn't do it!" the compere tells you, its face half in shadow, a grin like gravestones. "And I never thought you would!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 12 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4194304>><<set $plays += 1>>
The coin is everything. The coin is all. The coin is. The coin. <em>The</em>. <strong>Coin</strong>.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"You did it!" the compere tells you, all its gold teeth glittering in glorious glittervision. "And I never doubted you for a second!"
And you're into [[Round 13]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"You didn't do it!" the compere tells you, its face half in shadow, a grin like gravestones. "And I never thought you would!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 13</strong>
<strong>Round 13 Participants:</strong> 2,097,152
<strong>Round 13 Prize Money (total):</strong> £35,184,372,088,832
<strong>Round 13 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £16,777,216
"Heads or tails, that's the choice," the coin says. "But it could be anything. Yes or no. Smiles or sadness. Good versus evil. Life pitted against death! We all make our decisions, and for our own peace of mind simply pretend they have meaning."
[[Heads|Round 13 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 13 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 13>><<set $furthest to 13>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 13 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 16777216>><<set $plays += 1>>
The token is tossed and now it turns and tumbles, takes its time to take a side.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"But there's only one outcome that matters, I say!" the commentator coin tells you. "And it's VICTORY!"
And you're into [[Round 14]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"But there's only one outcome that matters, I say!" the commentator coin tells you. "And it's certainly not FAILURE!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 13 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 16777216>><<set $plays += 1>>
The token is tossed and now it turns and tumbles, takes its time to take a side.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"But there's only one outcome that matters, I say!" the commentator coin tells you. "And it's VICTORY!"
And you're into [[Round 14]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"But there's only one outcome that matters, I say!" the commentator coin tells you. "And it's certainly not FAILURE!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 14</strong>
<strong>Round 14 Participants:</strong> 1,048,576
<strong>Round 14 Prize Money (total):</strong> £70,368,744,177,664
<strong>Round 14 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £67,108,864
The new coin stays the same, but the backdrop differs each time. Beaches, mountain tops, rivers winding their way through mist-covered forests. And always the mascot's there, too, dancing through the same animations, badly lip-synced to whatever the round's custom message happens to be.
"And is there any sight more beautiful than the coin mines of Coinland?" the mascot mimes, words taken from some tourism brochure provided by an unnamed sponsor. "All that digital gold glittering in the phosphorescent glow of the encasing quartzcruft?"
[[Heads|Round 14 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 14 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 14>><<set $furthest to 14>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 14 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 67108864>><<set $plays += 1>>
Yet it's not the unrefined gold dust glittering in the gloom that you're entranced by. It's the refinement of the coin as it sparkles in the spotlight. It's beautiful, that coin, it really is. You could watch it for ever if could. But you can't.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"And it's all thanks to our sponsors that there's even a next round to get through to!"
And you're into [[Round 15]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"And it's all thanks to our sponsors you even had a round to go out in!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 14 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 67108864>><<set $plays += 1>>
Yet it's not the unrefined gold dust glittering in the gloom that you're entranced by. It's the refinement of the coin as it sparkles in the spotlight. It's beautiful, that coin, it really is. You could watch it for ever if could. But you can't.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"And it's all thanks to our sponsors that there's even a next round to get through to!"
And you're into [[Round 15]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"And it's all thanks to our sponsors you even had a round to go out in!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 15</strong>
<strong>Round 15 Participants:</strong> 524,288
<strong>Round 15 Prize Money (total):</strong> £140,737,488,355,328
<strong>Round 15 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £268,435,456
"People can say what they like," the coin avatar says, entirely unprompted. "But there's not a single thing unfair about the Coin Toss World Cup. The losers lose, the winners win, and the talented always rise towards the top. It's why you guys and girls still here are earning the big quids and those that aren't, aren't!"
[[Heads|Round 15 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 15 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 15>><<set $furthest to 15>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 15 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 268435456>><<set $plays += 1>>
You project all your hopes, all your desires, all your hunger for success directly onto the coin, attempt to create some psychic connection to influence its rotations, to turn its turns to your chosen side.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"See? Didn't I tell you this was the fairest, most equitable system yet devised for governance and control?" the avaristic avatar opines. "YOU get to make even more money, and THEY don't. So simple! So effective! We all get what we deserve! Especially me, cause I'm constantly skimming a little off the top! Tiny little slices too small for you to see, but they're real enough to me."
And you're into [[Round 16]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"See? Didn't I tell you this was the fairest, most equitable system yet devised for governance and control?" the avaristic avatar opines. "THEY get to make even more money, and YOU don't. So simple! So effective! You all get what you deserve!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 15 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 268435456>><<set $plays += 1>>
You project all your hopes, all your desires, all your hunger for success directly onto the coin, attempt to create some psychic connection to influence its rotations, to turn its turns to your chosen side.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"See? Didn't I tell you this was the fairest, most equitable system yet devised for governance and control?" the avaristic avatar opines. "YOU get to make even more money, and THEY don't. So simple! So effective! We all get what we deserve! Especially me, cause I'm constantly skimming a little off the top! Tiny little slices too small for you to see, but they're real enough to me."
And you're into [[Round 16]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"See? Didn't I tell you this was the fairest, most equitable system yet devised for governance and control?" the avaristic avatar opines. "THEY get to make even more money, and YOU don't. So simple! So effective! You all get what you deserve!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 16</strong>
<strong>Round 16 Participants:</strong> 262,144
<strong>Round 16 Prize Money (total):</strong> £281,474,976,710,656
<strong>Round 16 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1,073,741,824
"The beauty of competitive sport like this isn't even the moments of play themselves," the coin avatar announces, taking as long as possible to get to the game. "It's the <em>anticipation</em> of the moments of play, the <em>dreams</em> of success and failure that haunt every moment of your lives."
[[Heads|Round 16 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 16 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 16>><<set $furthest to 16>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 16 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1073741824>><<set $plays += 1>>
But not even the dream of the coin is as alluring as the coin itself. And you dream of the coin more than is strictly healthy.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"And even in the joy of victory," the coin whispers so quietly you cannot be sure if you've simply imagined it. "Already there's the stirrings of dread, nightmares of some future possible defeat..."
And you're into [[Round 17]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"And even in the despair of defeat," the coin whispers so quietly you cannot be sure if you've simply imagined it. "Already there's the stirrings of hope, dreams of some future possible success..."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 16 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1073741824>><<set $plays += 1>>
But not even the dream of the coin is as alluring as the coin itself. And you dream of the coin more than is strictly healthy.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"And even in the joy of victory," the coin whispers so quietly you cannot be sure if you've simply imagined it. "Already there's the stirrings of dread, nightmares of some future possible defeat..."
And you're into [[Round 17]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"And even in the despair of defeat," the coin whispers so quietly you cannot be sure if you've simply imagined it. "Already there's the stirrings of hope, dreams of some future possible success..."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 17</strong>
<strong>Round 17 Participants:</strong> 131,072
<strong>Round 17 Prize Money (total):</strong> £562,949,953,421,312
<strong>Round 17 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4,294,967,296
"Half way!" the host coin crows. "Would have got here a lot quicker if there weren't so many of you out there. But then again, you can't build a pyramid without a good solid base!"
[[Heads|Round 17 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 17 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 17>><<set $furthest to 17>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 17 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4294967296>><<set $plays += 1>>
You've already won billions on the turnings of these coins, but your desire for victory never dims. If anything, it <em>grows</em>.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"And on you go," the host tells you, pointing to a very lavish set of animated doors already swinging open to let you through. "VIPs only from here on out, my Valuable, Indispensable, Pre-eminence!!"
And you're into [[Round 18]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"And out you go," the host tells you, pointing to a very lavish set of animated doors guarded by some slavish sentries. "VIPs only from here on out! And you're simply not very valuable at all, my dears."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 17 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4294967296>><<set $plays += 1>>
You've already won billions on the turnings of these coins, but your desire for victory never dims. If anything, it <em>grows</em>.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"And on you go," the host tells you, pointing to a very lavish set of animated doors already swinging open to let you through. "VIPs only from here on out, my Valuable, Indispensable, Pre-eminence!!"
And you're into [[Round 18]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"And out you go," the host tells you, pointing to a very lavish set of animated doors guarded by some slavish sentries. "VIPs only from here on out! And you're simply not very valuable at all, my dears."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 18</strong>
<strong>Round 18 Participants:</strong> 65,536
<strong>Round 18 Prize Money (total):</strong> £1,125,899,906,842,624
<strong>Round 18 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £17,179,869,184
"If you could live forever," the coin compere claims. "Each and every one of you would win this game an infinite amount of times."
[[Heads|Round 18 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 18 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 18>><<set $furthest to 18>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 18 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 17179869184>><<set $plays += 1>>
You dream of the infinite. But not for yourself. Only for the coin. Dream of it rising up forever and never coming down.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"But fortunately nothing lasts forever," the commentating coin continues. "If it did, even a well earned victory like this would be as meaningless as defeat. But there is nothing meaningless about victory at the Coin Toss World Cup!"
And you're into [[Round 19]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"But fortunately nothing lasts forever," the commentating coin continues. "If it did, even a well deserved defeat like this would be as meaningful as victory. But there is no meaning to be found in defeat at the Coin Toss World Cup!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 18 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 17179869184>><<set $plays += 1>>
You dream of the infinite. But not for yourself. Only for the coin. Dream of it rising up forever and never coming down.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"But fortunately nothing lasts forever," the commentating coin continues. "If it did, even a well earned victory like this would be as meaningless as defeat. But there is nothing meaningless about victory at the Coin Toss World Cup!"
And you're into [[Round 19]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"But fortunately nothing lasts forever," the commentating coin continues. "If it did, even a well deserved defeat like this would be as meaningful as victory. But there is no meaning to be found in defeat at the Coin Toss World Cup!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 19</strong>
<strong>Round 19 Participants:</strong> 32,768
<strong>Round 19 Prize Money (total):</strong> £2,251,799,813,685,248
<strong>Round 19 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £68,719,476,736
"With only one Coin Toss World Cup a year, you'd have to live two hundred and sixty two THOUSAND years to get this far by luck alone!" the coin mascot calculates. "And I don't think you've lived that long have you? But who knows! I certainly don't! I'm just a cartoon! I don't even have an internal chronometer!"
[[Heads|Round 19 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 19 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 19>><<set $furthest to 19>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 19 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 68719476736>><<set $plays += 1>>
The coin compere lives only in the frames of its animations. But the coin itself is surely real.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Yes! Another win!" the animated coin says, going through its looped victory routines. "Way to go!"
And you're into [[Round 20]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"No! A loss!" the animated coin says, going through its looped defeat routines. "Off you go!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 19 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 68719476736>><<set $plays += 1>>
The coin compere lives only in the frames of its animations. But the coin itself is surely real.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Yes! Another win!" the animated coin says, going through its looped victory routines. "Way to go!"
And you're into [[Round 20]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"No! A loss!" the animated coin says, going through its looped defeat routines. "Off you go!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 20</strong>
<strong>Round 20 Participants:</strong> 16,384
<strong>Round 20 Prize Money (total):</strong> £4,503,599,627,370,496
<strong>Round 20 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £274,877,906,944
The coin stays the same even as you reach round 20. But now you're playing on the <em>moon</em> (animated approximation thereof).
"Look how long it takes to rise," the ever present coin host says, its smile visible even through the reflective glare of its spacesuit visor. "Look how long it takes to fall."
[[Heads|Round 20 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 20 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 20>><<set $furthest to 20>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 20 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 274877906944>><<set $plays += 1>>
And every slow revolution of it on your screen feels like heaven, like heaven washing over your eyes.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"CONGRATULATIONS!" the spacestronaut coin booms out over comms, before doing the slowest backflips in its repertoire. "NEXT STOP: MARS! (Weather permitting)"
And you're into [[Round 21]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Commiserations," the spacestronaut coin murmurs out over comms, before kicking some dirt up in the air in a disconsolate fashion. "But then again there never was enough to see or do on the moon."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 20 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 274877906944>><<set $plays += 1>>
And every slow revolution of it on your screen feels like heaven, like heaven washing over your eyes.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"CONGRATULATIONS!" the spacestronaut coin booms out over comms, before doing the slowest backflips in its repertoire. "NEXT STOP: MARS! (Weather permitting)"
And you're into [[Round 21]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Commiserations," the spacestronaut coin murmurs out over comms, before kicking some dirt up in the air in a disconsolate fashion. "But then again there never was enough to see or do on the moon."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 21</strong>
<strong>Round 21 Participants:</strong> 8,192
<strong>Round 21 Prize Money (total):</strong> £9,007,199,254,740,992
<strong>Round 21 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1,099,511,627,776
"Now this is disappointing," the coin mascot muses from amidst a Martian sandstorm. "Can barely even see myself on the monitor. But of course it's not me you're here for. It's the coin..."
[[Heads|Round 21 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 21 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 21>><<set $furthest to 21>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 21 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1099511627776>><<set $plays += 1>>
Sometimes it feels like the only moments of your life that matter are these precious few seconds when the coin is in the air and nothing at all has been determined. Perhaps if you closed your eyes, turned down the sound, you could let the uncertainty last forever.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Well, I did not enjoy that trip at all," the coin mascot says, brushing sand out of its clothes as it emerges suddenly back in Coinland. "Now let us never speak of that planet ever again."
And you're into [[Round 22]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Well, I did not enjoy that trip at all," the coin mascot says, brushing sand out of its clothes as it emerges suddenly back in Coinland. "But at least I enjoyed it more than you."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 21 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1099511627776>><<set $plays += 1>>
Sometimes it feels like the only moments of your life that matter are these precious few seconds when the coin is in the air and nothing at all has been determined. Perhaps if you closed your eyes, turned down the sound, you could let the uncertainty last forever.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Well, I did not enjoy that trip at all," the coin mascot says, brushing sand out of its clothes as it emerges suddenly back in Coinland. "Now let us never speak of that planet ever again."
And you're into [[Round 22]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Well, I did not enjoy that trip at all," the coin mascot says, brushing sand out of its clothes as it emerges suddenly back in Coinland. "But at least I enjoyed it more than you."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 22</strong>
<strong>Round 22 Participants:</strong> 4,096
<strong>Round 22 Prize Money (total):</strong> £18,014,398,509,481,984
<strong>Round 22 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4,398,046,511,104
"No more travel," the coin host promises. "We're getting serious now. From here on in it's all about the coin."
[[Heads|Round 22 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 22 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 22>><<set $furthest to 22>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 22 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4398046511104>><<set $plays += 1>>
You're not even listening to the host any more. You're fixated on the coin.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"You know it," the host says. "I know it. But the coin <em>chose</em> it."
And you're into [[Round 23]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"You know it," the host says. "I know it. But the coin <em>chose</em> it."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 22 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4398046511104>><<set $plays += 1>>
You're not even listening to the host any more. You're fixated on the coin.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"You know it," the host says. "I know it. But the coin <em>chose</em> it."
And you're into [[Round 23]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"You know it," the host says. "I know it. But the coin <em>chose</em> it."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 23</strong>
<strong>Round 23 Participants:</strong> 2,048
<strong>Round 23 Prize Money (total):</strong> £36,028,797,018,963,968
<strong>Round 23 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £17,592,186,044,416
"Getting almost too tense for words," the coin compere whispers conspiratorially. "But there's no money in silence! Especially not for me! It's all about the audience engagement!"
[[Heads|Round 23 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 23 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 23>><<set $furthest to 23>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 23 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 17592186044416>><<set $plays += 1>>
The further you go, the less in control you feel. As if it's all pre-determined in some way.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"And I wouldn't have had it any other way!" the host says.
And you're into [[Round 24]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"And I couldn't have had it any other way!" the host says.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 23 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 17592186044416>><<set $plays += 1>>
The further you go, the less in control you feel. As if somehow it's all pre-determined in some way.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"And I wouldn't have had it any other way!" the host says.
And you're into [[Round 24]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"And I couldn't have had it any other way!" the host says.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 24</strong>
<strong>Round 24 Participants:</strong> 1,024
<strong>Round 24 Prize Money (total):</strong> £72,057,594,037,927,936
<strong>Round 24 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £70,368,744,177,664
"One thousand of you left," the host coin says. "Which means there's only ten rounds to go! For me at least, not necessarily for you!"
[[Heads|Round 24 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 24 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 24>><<set $furthest to 24>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 24 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 70368744177664>><<set $plays += 1>>
The further you go, the more certain you are that you deserve this. That if it is pre-determined, it's pre-determined to reward your endeavour.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Well you won," the coin host cheers. "So maybe nine more rounds for you!"
And you're into [[Round 25]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Well you lost," the coin host laughs. "So no more rounds for you!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 24 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 70368744177664>><<set $plays += 1>>
The further you go, the more certain you are that you deserve this. That if it is pre-determined, it's pre-determined to reward your endeavour.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Well you won," the coin host cheers. "So maybe nine more rounds for you!"
And you're into [[Round 25]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Well you lost," the coin host laughs. "So no more rounds for you!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 25</strong>
<strong>Round 25 Participants:</strong> 512
<strong>Round 25 Prize Money (total):</strong> £144,115,188,075,855,872
<strong>Round 25 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £281,474,976,710,656
"Trillions of pounds in prizes for all 512 of you left," the coin announcer shouts. "But what good is money without <strong>power</strong>?"
[[Heads|Round 25 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 25 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 25>><<set $furthest to 25>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 25 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 281474976710656>><<set $plays += 1>>
You do deserve this. No doubt in your mind at all now. You deserve everything these spinning coins bring to you. There is no luck. Just the decisions you make.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"And the more you win, the more power you'll have!" the cartoon coin crows. "What are you going to do with yours?"
And you're into [[Round 26]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"And the more they win, the more power they'll have!" the cartoon coin crows. "Wonder what they'll do with theirs!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 25 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 281474976710656>><<set $plays += 1>>
You do deserve this. No doubt in your mind at all now. You deserve everything these spinning coins bring to you. There is no luck. Just the decisions you make.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"And the more you win, the more power you'll have!" the cartoon coin crows. "What are you going to do with yours?"
And you're into [[Round 26]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"And the more they win, the more power they'll have!" the cartoon coin crows. "Wonder what they'll do with theirs!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 26</strong>
<strong>Round 26 Participants:</strong> 256
<strong>Round 26 Prize Money (total):</strong> £288,230,376,151,711,744
<strong>Round 26 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1,125,899,906,842,624
"There's so much I want to tell you," the cartoon coin confides in you. "So much I want you to know. But can I trust you?"
[[Heads|Round 26 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 26 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 26>><<set $furthest to 26>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 26 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1125899906842624>><<set $plays += 1>>
The coin rewards the worthy. The coin discards the weak.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Of course I can trust you!" the coin host shouts out, arms spread wide to hug you across the digital divide. "Now let's see what secrets Coinland holds..."
And you're into [[Round 27]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Of course I can't trust you!" the coin host shouts out, arms crossed across its chest. "Which is why you'll never see the secrets of Coinland if you keep performing like this."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 26 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1125899906842624>><<set $plays += 1>>
The coin rewards the worthy. The coin discards the weak.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Of course I can trust you!" the coin host shouts out, arms spread wide to hug you across the digital divide. "Now let's see what secrets Coinland holds..."
And you're into [[Round 27]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Of course I can't trust you!" the coin host shouts out, arms crossed across its chest. "Which is why you'll never see the secrets of Coinland if you keep performing like this."
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 27</strong>
<strong>Round 27 Participants:</strong> 128
<strong>Round 27 Prize Money (total):</strong> £576,460,752,303,423,488
<strong>Round 27 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4,503,599,627,370,496
"Isn't this nice," the cartoon coin laughs, as it seats all your avatars round the coin-shaped table in the Coin King's Court. "The inner circle all seated in a circle. NOW FIGHT! Wait, I mean, er, NOW CHOOSE!"
[[Heads|Round 27 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 27 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 27>><<set $furthest to 27>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 27 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4503599627370496>><<set $plays += 1>>
No more cheaply animated sets. This is pure HD CG now, 16K UHD generated at 360 FPS, a trillion pixels woven into a tapestry of a quintillion voxels, so high tech the phone you're watching it on evolves right there in your hand to accommodate its full magnificence.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
Half the room dead in their virtual seats. Blood pooling on the simulated floor.
"Now that's what I like to see!" the coin avatar applauds as it strides round the room, clapping you hard on the back of your Round 27 exclusive armour set as you raise your sword up to the heavens and give a lusty cheer. "Real commitment to the cause."
And you're into [[Round 28]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
Half the room dead in their (virtual) seats. Blood pooling on the (real) floor.
"Don't worry, I'm sure those wounds aren't fatal," the coin avatar says from the phone you've dropped on the floor, its jagged edges still slick with the blood they've drawn from your hand. "But if they are, it was nice knowing you!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 27 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4503599627370496>><<set $plays += 1>>
No more cheaply animated sets. This is pure HD CG now, 16K UHD generated at 360 FPS, a trillion pixels woven into a tapestry of a quintillion voxels, so high tech the phone you're watching it on evolves right there in your hand to accommodate its full magnificence.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
Half the room dead in their virtual seats. Blood pooling on the simulated floor.
"Now that's what I like to see!" the coin avatar applauds as it strides round the room, clapping you hard on the back of your Round 27 exclusive armour set as you raise your sword up to the heavens and give a lusty cheer. "Real commitment to the cause."
And you're into [[Round 28]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
Half the room dead in their (virtual) seats. Blood pooling on the (real) floor.
"Don't worry, I'm sure those wounds aren't fatal," the coin avatar says from the phone you've dropped on the floor, its jagged edges still slick with the blood they've drawn from your hand. "But if they are, it was nice knowing you!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 28</strong>
<strong>Round 28 Participants:</strong> 64
<strong>Round 28 Prize Money (total):</strong> £1,152,921,504,606,846,976
<strong>Round 28 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £18,014,398,509,481,984
"Who needs democracy when you've got coinocracy?" the animated coin asks. "This is how you choose the best. This is how you choose who's in control. By a toss of a coin! And the awarding of increasingly huge amounts of money!"
[[Heads|Round 28 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 28 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 28>><<set $furthest to 28>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 28 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 18014398509481984>><<set $plays += 1>>
There's a new coin now too. Bigger, heavier, more productive. When it lands the whole world shakes.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
Even if the host coin speaks you can't hear a thing over the immense vibrations of VICTORY!
And you're into [[Round 29]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
Even if the host coin speaks you can't hear a thing over the immense vibrations of DEFEAT!
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 28 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 18014398509481984>><<set $plays += 1>>
There's a new coin now too. Bigger, heavier, more productive. When it lands the whole world shakes.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
Even if the host coin speaks you can't hear a thing over the immense vibrations of VICTORY!
And you're into [[Round 29]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
Even if the host coin speaks you can't hear a thing over the immense vibrations of DEFEAT!
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 29</strong>
<strong>Round 29 Participants:</strong> 32
<strong>Round 29 Prize Money (total):</strong> £2,305,843,009,213,693,952
<strong>Round 29 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £72,057,594,037,927,936
"What does money matter to you now?" the coin compere demands to know. "All that's left is power. Dominance. You could lose in the first round every year until you die and still you'd be rich enough to buy the moon, buy the planets, buy <em>their</em> moons. But would you be able to afford the sun? Not yet! Not yet! Not until you can outbid them all!"
[[Heads|Round 29 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 29 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 29>><<set $furthest to 29>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 29 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 72057594037927936>><<set $plays += 1>>
Only those still playing can even see the coin. But everyone can feel it. Its immensity, its importance. Its gravity warping grandeur. It doesn't so much rise and fall now as push the earth away then pull it back in.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Yes, that's it, don't hold back!" the coin shrieks, as the dust settles on this latest battle. "These people are your enemies. They deserve nothing but your fury, your scorn! Exult in their defeat as they would exult in yours!"
And you're into [[Round 30]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Yes, that's it, take it, die!" the coin shrieks, as the dust settles on this latest battle. "These people are your lords, your masters! You deserve nothing but their fury, their scorn! Let them exult in your defeat as you would exult in theirs!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 29 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 72057594037927936>><<set $plays += 1>>
Only those still playing can even see the coin. But everyone can feel it. Its immensity, its importance. Its gravity warping grandeur. It doesn't so much rise and fall now as push the earth away then pull it back in.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Yes, that's it, don't hold back!" the coin shrieks, as the dust settles on this latest battle. "These people are your enemies. They deserve nothing but your fury, your scorn! Exult in their defeat as they would exult in yours!"
And you're into [[Round 30]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Yes, that's it, take it, die!" the coin shrieks, as the dust settles on this latest battle. "These people are your lords, your masters! You deserve nothing but their fury, their scorn! Let them exult in your defeat as you would exult in theirs!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 30</strong>
<strong>Round 30 Participants:</strong> 16
<strong>Round 30 Prize Money (total):</strong> £4,611,686,018,427,387,904
<strong>Round 30 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £288,230,376,151,711,744
"And you want to buy the sun, right?" the coin asks. "You want to buy the sun whether you need it or not. You want to buy the sun just so no one else can own it!"
[[Heads|Round 30 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 30 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 30>><<set $furthest to 30>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">><strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 30 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 288230376151711744>><<set $plays += 1>>
If someone said the coin was more important than the sun you would not object. And if you had to choose between the sun and the coin, you would choose the coin. You would choose the coin even if the coin never chose you again.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"Well, I know I said you've already got enough money," the coin says, smirking, smug. "But that doesn't mean you don't still want more! MORE! MORE! Enough to buy everything there's ever been! Every sun in every galaxy in every universe that has ever existed! And even then it wouldn't be enough!"
And you're into [[Round 31]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"Well, I suppose all I can say is maybe you've already got enough money," the coin says, trying to sound sympathetic. "Ha, who am I kidding! You can never have enough money. NEVER! You might be rich, but you sure ain't the richest!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 30 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 288230376151711744>><<set $plays += 1>>
If someone said the coin was more important than the sun you would not object. And if you had to choose between the sun and the coin, you would choose the coin. You would choose the coin even if the coin never chose you again.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"Well, I know I said you've already got enough money," the coin says, smirking, smug. "But that doesn't mean you don't still want more! MORE! MORE! Enough to buy everything there's ever been! Every sun in every galaxy in every universe that has ever existed! And even then it wouldn't be enough!"
And you're into [[Round 31]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"Well, I suppose all I can say is maybe you've already got enough money," the coin says, trying to sound sympathetic. "Ha, who am I kidding! You can never have enough money. NEVER! You might be rich, but you sure ain't the richest!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 31</strong>
<strong>Round 31 Participants:</strong> 8
<strong>Round 31 Prize Money (total):</strong> £9,223,372,036,854,775,808
<strong>Round 31 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £1,152,921,504,606,846,976
"In some way now you're all winners," the coin compere claims. "But in many other ways, 7 of you are going to be the <em>true</em> losers of this cup. No one remembers loser #8 billion. But loser #8? That's gotta hurt. That's the sort of thing that haunts you for <em>years</em>."
[[Heads|Round 31 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 31 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 31>><<set $furthest to 31>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">><strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 31 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 1152921504606846976>><<set $plays += 1>>
But you trust the coin to choose you. The coin is infallible. And it's never let you down yet.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"The coin has chosen," it announces. "And found you worthy."
And you're into [[Round 32]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"The coin has chosen," it announces. "And found you unworthy."
And it brands your hand with the number of your failure.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 31 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 1152921504606846976>><<set $plays += 1>>
But you trust the coin to choose you. The coin is infallible. And it's never let you down yet.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"The coin has chosen," it announces. "And found you worthy."
And you're into [[Round 32]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"The coin has chosen," it announces. "And found you unworthy."
And it brands your hand with the number of your failure.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 32</strong>
<strong>Round 32 Participants:</strong> 4
<strong>Round 32 Prize Money (total):</strong> £18,446,744,073,709,551,616
<strong>Round 32 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £4,611,686,018,427,387,904
"All hail the coin!" the coin demands. "ALL HAIL THE COIN!"
[[Heads|Round 32 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 32 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 32>><<set $furthest to 32>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
<strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 32 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 4611686018427387904>><<set $plays += 1>>
It's all so perfect. The coin. The coin is perfect. THE COIN IS PERFECT!
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"PRAISE BE TO THE COIN! PRAISE BE TO THE WINNERS!"
And you're into [[Round 33]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"PRAISE BE TO THE COIN! PRAISE NO TO THE LOSERS!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 32 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 4611686018427387904>><<set $plays += 1>>
It's all so perfect. The coin. The coin is perfect. THE COIN IS PERFECT!
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"PRAISE BE TO THE COIN! PRAISE BE TO THE WINNERS!"
And you're into [[Round 33]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"PRAISE BE TO THE COIN! PRAISE NO TO THE LOSERS!"
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 33</strong>
<strong>Round 33 Participants:</strong> 2
<strong>Round 33 Prize Money (total):</strong> £36,893,488,147,419,103,232
<strong>Round 33 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £18,446,744,073,709,551,616
"And here we are folks! After 32 gruelling rounds, we've finally reached the COIN TOSS WORLD CUP WORLD CUP FINAL OF THE COIN TOSS WORLD CUP WORLD CUP FINAL!"
Stuttering, buffering, flickering into static. But who needs the announcer when the coin itself is already in the air.
[[Heads|Round 33 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 33 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 33>><<set $furthest to 33>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">><strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 33 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 18446744073709551616>><<set $plays += 1>>
Just this last toss and turn to determine whether you're the <em>one</em>.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"And there we have it folks!" the coin compere screams, all spittle flecked fervour and utterly demented fever. "WE HAVE OUR WINNER! OUR ONE AND ONLY WINNER! THE ONE WHO'S WON!"
Then it looks at you - and only YOU - and says, "But wait, are you <em>really</em> our true winner? Or just some charlatan who's blundered here by mistake. How about one last toss of this coin to find out where you really stand?!"
And of course you cannot turn it down.
And you're into [[Round 34]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"And there we have it folks!" the coin compere screams, all spittle flecked fervour and utterly demented fever. "WE HAVE OUR WINNER! OUR ONE AND ONLY WINNER! THE ONE WHO'S WON!"
Then it looks at you - and only YOU - and says, "And it is most certainly NOT YOU!"
Disconnection notice. Black screen of death. The endless shame of second place.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 33 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 18446744073709551616>><<set $plays += 1>>
Just this last toss and turn to determine whether you're the <em>one</em>.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"And there we have it folks!" the coin compere screams, all spittle flecked fervour and utterly demented fever. "WE HAVE OUR WINNER! OUR ONE AND ONLY WINNER! THE ONE WHO'S WON!"
Then it looks at you - and only YOU - and says, "But wait, are you <em>really</em> our true winner? Or just some charlatan who's blundered here by mistake. How about one last toss of this coin to find out where you really stand?!"
And of course you cannot turn it down.
And you're into [[Round 34]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"And there we have it folks!" the coin compere screams, all spittle flecked fervour and utterly demented fever. "WE HAVE OUR WINNER! OUR ONE AND ONLY WINNER! THE ONE WHO'S WON!"
Then it looks at you - and only YOU - and says, "And it is most certainly NOT YOU!"
Disconnection notice. Black screen of death. The endless shame of second place.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 34</strong>
<strong>Round 34 Participants:</strong> 1
<strong>Round 34 Prize Money (total):</strong> £73,786,976,294,838,206,464
<strong>Round 34 Prize Money (projected payout per player):</strong> £73,786,976,294,838,206,464
"You did it! You won!" the coin compere says, throwing off its disguise and revealing it was the coin king all along. "But how about one more toss of that coin before we go. Not for money now. For <em>glory</em>!"
[[Heads|Round 34 Heads]] or [[Tails|Round 34 Tails]]?
<<if $furthest lt 34>><<set $furthest to 34>><</if>><<include "Personal Statistics">><strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 34 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $heads +=1>><<set $winnings += 73786976294838206464>><<set $plays += 1>>
True happiness is watching the coin and knowing it spins for you and you alone.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 0>>
...HEADS! You win!"
"YOU WIN IT ALL!" the coin king says. And he picks up that coin, that special, perfect coin, and places it in your hand with all the gentleness of a kiss.
And you've [[WON THE COIN TOSS WORLD CUP|WON]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $headswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...TAILS! You lose!"
"You lose," the coin king says, shaking his head. And he picks up that coin, that special, perfect coin, and puts it in his pocket with all the coldness of some ultimate irrevocable divorce.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>The Coin Toss World Cup: Round 34 Results</strong><<set $cointoss to random(1)>><<set $tails +=1>><<set $winnings += 73786976294838206464>><<set $plays += 1>>
True happiness is watching the coin and knowing it spins for you and you alone.
"And it's...
<<if $cointoss === 1>>
...TAILS! You win!"
"YOU WIN IT ALL!" the coin king says. And he picks up that coin, that special, perfect coin, and places it in your hand with all the gentleness of a kiss.
And you've [[WON THE COIN TOSS WORLD CUP|WON]]<<set $wins +=1>><<set $tailswon += 1>>
<<else>>
...HEADS! You lose!"
"You lose," the coin king says, shaking his head. And he picks up that coin, that special, perfect coin, and puts it in his pocket with all the coldness of some ultimate irrevocable divorce.
[[See You Next Year|Out]] <</if>>
<<include "Personal Statistics">> <strong>CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE THE COIN TOSS WORLD CUP WINNER OF THE YEAR</strong>
You've won. What does it mean? In the moment you're almost too stunned to know.
But the coin knows.
"YES! You did it! My god! I cannot believe it! You did it!" the coin king coin mascot coin avatar coin cartoon coin compere coin conscience coin goddamn coin coin COIN shrieks out at you.
"And how did you do it? By being the best! Without cheating even once! You did it all fairly and through nothing more than your own hard work and absolutely phenomenal levels of personal skill and talent and insight and aptitude and perfection!
"You did it all and you've proved everyone else in the world wrong you've proven you're the best fucking coin tosser ever and it's absolutely right that in doing so you've earnt more money than everyone else in the world put together! More than pretty much everyone else put together forever, cumulatively, all the way back to the invention of money itself.
"You've not only beaten <em>them</em> you've beaten <em>yourself</em>! You've got 34 flips of that freaking coin in a goddamn fucking row! Let's see them call that luck! Let's see them try and outdo that!
"But you're going to outdo that, aren't you, you magnificent fucking bastard? You're going to get back out there and do this all again. The coin demands it. I demand it. And most importantly of all, YOU demand it! How else are you going to prove this was skill and not luck and most certainly not cheating. Never cheating. The only people in this system who have cheated are all those losers out there taking a cut of what are rightfully YOUR winnings. How dare they! HOW FUCKING DARE THEY! Thieving little fucking shits. Well you'll show them. You'll show them fucking all!
"You don't need the money. You don't need anything any more and never will! But that doesn't mean you have to give up! There's 8 billion fucking losers out there that you need to show up again. And again and again and how many other years of absolutely not cheating your way at all to victory it takes before they're all dead and you're still alive and EVERYTHING'S YOURS AND THERE'S NO ONE LEFT TO TAKE IT FROM YOU!"
Yep, the coin knows alright. The coin <strong>knows</strong>.
<<set $cupwins += 1>><<include "Personal Statistics">>
[[Enter The Coin Toss World Cup]]