Tales From The Town #55: The Worst Idea Ever

Thermometer racing. That was their new game. The four of them had all spent this week’s pound on a thermometer each and now they were home they left them in the sun so they could play this new sport they’d just invented where your thermometer had to beat their thermometers to the highest temperature of the day (while also accruing points for reaching significant milestones along the way).

Thermometer racing. They all agreed this game wasn’t just the worst game ever but the worst idea ever too. The worst idea any of them had ever had. The greatest waste of their money and their time and their lives and an entire Saturday ever ever ever.

Thermometer racing. Even the name was awful. They’d said thermometer so many times by now it made them all feel sick but still they couldn’t stop saying it because they were trapped in some delirium loop now, too furious to stop.

Thermometer racing. The only thing about it they couldn’t agree on was whose idea it was in the first place. The arguments about that, at least, were worth every penny.

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Notes:

1. Written on 3rd August, 2021

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Boat

The boat cost five pounds, for an hour. Oars cost £1 (per pair), or you could hire a pole for 50p. Engines were not available.

At the end of the hour, if unreturned to the point of hire, the boat sank to the bottom of the lake and scuttled back home, using the oars and the poles like crab’s legs.

The passengers bobbed up and down in their life jackets, awaiting rescue, recriminations rippling through the group like involuntary shivers.

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Notes:

1. Written on 1st August, 2018

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!