All Scheduled Events Have Been Cancelled (Due To Flooding)

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Notes:

1. Made on March 23rd, 2021
2. And here it is on youtube

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No Things Happen Out At Sea

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Notes:

1. Made between 27th February and 4th March, 2021
2. An animationless version of Worse Things Happen Out At Sea
3. For no real reason at all

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Worse Things Happen Out At Sea

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Notes:

1. I made this between 27th February and March 4th, 2021
2. Which was quite a long time for me
3. But worth it hopefully
4. For these precious 20 seconds
5. Also available as a never ending loop, if that’s the sort of thing you’d want:

6. It is the sort of thing I’d want

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At Sea

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Notes:

1. Written on August 28th, 2011

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The Boat

My brother had this boat. It was quite a nice boat, as far as boats go. I’m not sure where he got it from. A boat seller, I suppose.

He had no idea how to sail, or even, as far as I could tell, how to row.

Every weekend he would wheel it out of his garage and onto the drive and wash it, or repaint it, or varnish it, or any number of other entirely pointless jobs designed mostly, if not entirely, to delay the moment when he would have to commit the thing to water and demonstrate, in public, the extent of his own incompetence.

His house burnt down one autumn, struck by lightning in a late and lonely thunderstorm. He lost everything, even his cat.

The cat wasn’t hurt, but he never forgave him, and ran away across the street and moved in with a neighbour, hissing in horror whenever my brother tried, forlornly, to claim him back. The sadness in his eyes on these occasions was heartbreaking. In my brother’s eyes, I mean. In the cat’s there was nothing but the fury of betrayal.

Everything else was covered by the insurance.

He moved in with me for a while, while his house was being rebuilt, and it was tolerable at first. But slowly he started filling up my house as the insurance slowly coughed up replacements for all his possessions, and to be honest by the time he moved out it was a bit of a relief. There’s only so many times you can sit in a living room filled to the brim with new TVs, bikes, computers, sofas, cupboards, plates and clothes, before the claustrophobia starts to seep into you and you dream, each night, of being crushed alive under an avalanche of pots and pans.

He never reclaimed the boat.

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Notes:

1. Written on September 27th, 2017

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