There was an old woman who lived in the woods.
“Are you a witch?” asked the crow.
“I am, my dear,” she said, and the crow cawed and shared with her its breakfast.
“Are you a witch?” asked the cat.
“I am, my dear,” she said, and the cat purred and shared with her its lunch.
“Are you a witch?’ asked the priest.
“I am, my dear,” she said, and the priest fell silent and kept for himself his dinner.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on August 9th, 2014
__________The oil soaked into the carpet in an ever-widening circle of shame around us both as we copulated on the living room floor.
When we reached our climactic finish, our cries caused the cat to jump down in fright from the settee and run obliviously through the mess and out through the half-opened door, leaving a trail of black footprints behind him as he ran into the hall and up the stairs.
“Oh god, I’m sorry,” I said, looking at the mess. “I’m getting old, these days. It’s my knees. If I don’t lubricate them they seize up. But then when I do, I leak.”
“Urgh,” said the scarecrow. “You could have warned me. I’m flammable enough as it is.”
He felt his back and grimaced in disgust at the feel of himself. He rubbed his fingers together in front of my face, my thick black fluid oozing down them towards the grubby palms of his hands.
“How the hell am I going to get all this out? It’s disgusting. Christ, I can feel it soaking through me, soaking into my heart.”
He emphasised that last word and gave me a withering look while he waited for me to respond to his cutting jibe.
The wind suddenly gusted through the open window and the curtains billowed extravagantly. The daylight cast a tawdry brightness across the room, which left both of us deflated.
On the other side of the window, I caught a glimpse of a face peering in, emotionless, wizened, more like a mask than living flesh.
“Please, carry on,” he said, when he noticed me staring. “Don’t mind me.”
But by now the scarecrow had already left, and I was too self-conscious to continue on my own.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on August 7th, 2018
__________Evacuation: Mars is the last part of a series of four.
Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars
__________
Evacuation: Mars is the last part of a series of four.
Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars
The complete Destination: Mars collection (containing all four parts) is available to buy as an ebook on iTunes and Amazon
___________
Notes:
1. Written in January 2018
2. This is the final part
3. And the longest
4. And the one with the most cats
5. Also I’m sorry about all the smudges
6. And the spelling mistakes
7. And the crossed out bits
8. And everything else that went wrong over these four chapters
9. Which I never corrected
10. Especially that page where a hair got in the scanner
Location: Mars is the second part of a series of four.
Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars
__________
Location: Mars is the second part of a series of four.
Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars
The complete Destination: Mars collection (containing all four parts) is available to buy as an ebook on iTunes and Amazon
__________
Notes:
1. Written in September 2017
2. The second part of four
3. As it clearly says above
4. A couple of times
__________
Destination: Mars is the first part of a series of four.
Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars
The complete Destination: Mars collection (containing all four parts) is available to buy as an ebook on iTunes and Amazon
__________
Notes:
1. Written in August and September 2017
2. This is the first chapter of four
3. The other three chapters are Location: Mars, Contamination: Mars, and Evacuation: Mars
4. I hope those chapter titles aren’t spoilers
5. This isn’t actually named after the Tintin book Destination Moon
6. Despite it seeming obvious that it should be
7. Somehow I had never read that one or even heard of it until a couple of months later
8. When one of my nieces or nephews had it out from the library
9. Having previously only read Explorers On The Moon out of the Tintin moon books
9. It is also not named after the film Destination Moon
10. Which I had never heard of at all until exactly now
11. While writing these notes
12. And looking up the Tintin book on google
13. Which also showed me there’s a book called Destination Mars
14. And another book
15. And a film
16. And a tv show
17. I’m going to give up looking now
18. At least mine has a colon in the title
19. To differentiate it
20. From all the others
21. I hope that’s enough