“We would set our own hearts on fire for a mere moment of warmth”

This is a script/storyboard (plus some other bits) for a cartoon that I pitched unsuccessfully to the BFi for their Animation 2018 project (the winners of which are being shown on BBC Four this Sunday, and which should be brilliant).

If it had actually been made, it would have had sets built by Dan Rawlings and sound design by Chriddof, with slightly inept claymation (with wooden heads) animation by me (which was presumably the reason it wasn’t commissioned).

Also the other reason it probably wasn’t commissioned is because it is absolutely the most depressing thing I’ve ever written.

[Some of the models for this were later re-used in They Locked Me In This Room And Told Me To Confess, which was another unsuccessful submission for a thing (the Observer Short Comic Competition thing they run each year). Maybe these poor plasticine abominations are cursed in some way.]

[If you can’t read the words you can click on the image to enlarge it. If you still can’t read the writing, it is because it is illegible to all but me. I am sorry.]

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Notes:

1. Written in February and March, 2018

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Tale #14: The Jealous Lord

There was a lord who fell in love with a married woman. The lord put out her husband’s eyes, for surely she would not love a man who could not see her beauty, but still love him she did. The lord then cut off her husband’s ears, for surely she would not love a man who did not listen to her, but still love him she did. The lord then cut off her husband’s tongue, for she surely would not love a man who would not tell her he loved her, but still love him she did.

Finally the lord cut out her husband’s heart, for surely she would not love a man who was dead. But still love him she did, now more than ever.

And the lord never did win her love.

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Notes:

1. Written on July 13th, 2013

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Evacuation: Mars

Evacuation: Mars is the last part of a series of four.

Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars


























































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Evacuation: Mars is the last part of a series of four.

Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars

The complete Destination: Mars collection (containing all four parts) is available to buy as an ebook on iTunes and Amazon for £4.99.

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Notes:

1. Written in January 2018
2. This is the final part
3. And the longest
4. And the one with the most cats
5. Also I’m sorry about all the smudges
6. And the spelling mistakes
7. And the crossed out bits
8. And everything else that went wrong over these four chapters
9. Which I never corrected
10. Especially that page where a hair got in the scanner

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Contamination: Mars

Contamination: Mars is the third part of a series of four.

Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars










































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Contamination: Mars is the third part of a series of four.

Part 1 – Destination: Mars
Part 2 – Location: Mars
Part 3 – Contamination: Mars
Part 4 – Evacuation: Mars

The complete Destination: Mars collection (containing all four parts) is available to buy as an ebook on iTunes and Amazon for £4.99.

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Notes:

1. Written in November 2017
2. This is the third part of four
3. There’s only one more

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The Saddest Bear Of All

(if you can’t read the text below please click on it to see an enlarged version of the whole thing)


The Saddest Bear Of All is available as an ebook on iTunes (£1.99/$2.99/equivalent price point other currencies)

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Notes:

1. Written (by me) in early 2008 and illustrated (by Minkee) in late 2008
2. I wrote this for my niece, who was about 1 and a half at the time
3. This was the first children’s book I ever wrote
4. And also almost certainly the most popular (along with the one about spiders…)

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