Saturday Afternoon Ikea Trip Simulator is a text simulator recreating a trip to an Ikea store on a Saturday afternoon. Any resemblance to real places, times, trips, and/or days of the week are purely incidental.
Also, it is now on itch.io, for some reason (if you want to follow me there).
__________This was made using the Pulp game editor for Playdate. You can download the game below, to play either through the Pulp app emulator or the playdate itself (maybe – I have no idea when they’re released or how they work).
Download: aaaargh (zip file)
To install it you’ll need to extract and import either the json file (which I think is the source code) into the pulp app, or load the .pdx folder onto your playdate (if anyone actually has a Playdate). You might need to make an account first to use the Pulp editor, and there’s import buttons on the main page that should hopefully work with these files.
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Notes:
1. Made in March 2022
2. The sounds/soundtrack are terrible, for which I apologise
3. But they were the best I could do.
4. It is supposed to be intentionally irritating.
5. But the sound on this video is somehow broken even more.
6. I have no idea how to capture system sounds using quicktime, so had to record the audio through the internal microphone, the noise cancelling algorithms of which seem to have eaten half of the static and most of the beeps.
7. Sorry about that.
Saturday Afternoon Ikea Trip Simulator is a one joke text adventure designed to simulate the experience of going to Ikea on a Saturday afternoon (other times of day and/or days of the week are available upon request).
Begin your Saturday afternoon Ikea trip simulation here
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Notes:
1. Made between October 30th and November 2nd, 2021
2. It’s made in TWINE, so should hopefully work in all and any browsers, but I cannot guarantee it.
3. I haven’t actually been to an Ikea in two years so it’s possible this is by now all horribly out of date.
4. I will hopefully never find out enough to know.
5. For more information about Ikea, please read this important piece of reportage, live from my 40th birthday
I promised myself I’d write it. I promised myself I’d finish it. I promised myself I’d put it here exactly where it belonged.
It was going to be so great. It was going to be perfect.
But instead I did nothing at all.
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Notes:
1. Written in December 2020
2. But true enough every other month of every other the year as well
A couple of years ago, my niece (then 5) and my nephew (who was 2), wanted to design a computer game, so we designed a computer game. Then I spent so long getting round to actually making it that now she’s 7, and he’s 4. But at least it got made, so I’m not that terrible after all. Just quite slow.
So here’s Fifteen Monsters All In A Row (It’s made in TWINE so should work in pretty much any web browser).
Now Fifteen Monsters All In A Row is a game about fifteen monsters, all in a row. Can you make your way past them and reach the end? And more importantly, will you do it nicely, or horribly? It is, I suppose, up to you.
This game contains 15 monsters (all in a row), several secret monsters (occasionally in a row), multiple solutions to every problem (almost), some exciting stories (occasionally), at least two jokes, and even a super secret special ending.
And also a mystery mon.
Estimated Playthrough Time: 10 minutes
Estimated Replayability Factor: Infinite
Fifteen Monsters All In A Row (an adventure game by Florence, Patrick and David)
CREDITS
Fifteen Monsters All In A Row
A game about monsters.
Game Design by Florence and David
Game Programming by David
Monster Designs And Descriptions by David, Florence, Patrick, and Julie
Stories by Florence and David
(This exciting monster isn’t in the game, but is standing on a list of secrets, or maybe spoilers, from the game. So that’s why he’s here.)
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Notes:
1. This was designed in 2018, and made in 2019, and then bugfixed in 2020
2. No one knows who the mystery mon is
3. Or how it got there
4. Or what it’s doing there
5. But it is there
6. Somewhere