The Box

We got The Box for Christmas, a joint present for each other. It sits there on the table, pulsing, glowing, trembling, flickering, wrapping paper still spread around it like a nest. We knew The Box was all the rage these days, but we weren’t particularly impressed.

“I don’t see what this does that the The Cube didn’t,” she said. It was her idea to get one so I was feeling kind of vindicated but not an £899 kind of vindicated.

“Or The Vase,” I said.

“This is much better than The fucking Vase,” she said. “That thing was so impractical. One little touch and it’d fall over and spill emergence fluid everywhere. It might have been cheap to buy but it was so expensive to run.”

“Yeah, but it had charm,” I said. I bloody loved The Vase. I really did. “A sort of style you know. And portability. We could take it round your Mums. This Box is just… a box.”

“A stable box that doesn’t run on fucking AAA batteries,” she said.

“But it’s so utilitarian,” I said, sighing wistfully. “Remember when technology was exciting. Now it’s just the same, but newer.”

“At least this doesn’t accidentally merge its extrusions,” she said, shuddering at the memory of some half-remembered Christmas now long past.

“I quite liked merged extrusions,” I said quietly.

“I never want to see a merged extrusion ever again in my life,” she said.

I hoped one day soon they’d bring The Vase back as a retro thing, merged extrusions and all. I’d have to keep it hidden away somewhere she’d never find it, but yeah, it could work. They were pretty portable after all.

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Notes:

1. Written on 19th October, 2022

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I Was A Witch Once

I was a witch once. I used to help out in the summer, when the tourists were here, and the covens couldn’t cope with demand. I did luck spells mostly, lucky in love, lucky in spite, lucky in fruit machines, that sort of thing.

I don’t do it anymore. The covens have all closed down now. Everything’s online these days. Some old witch out there in her hut on the marsh can’t cope with some streamlined Russian wish farm or whatever. Now it’s all spells delivered by email spam, targeted facebook ads, unsolicited twitter DMs. No need anymore to slip something in someone’s tea. You can reach anyone.

It’s not the same, of course. But then again what is?

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Notes

1. Written on September 2nd, 2021
2. Although the title and half the first paragraph was written August 13th, 2021

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This Time Last Year

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Notes:

1. Written and animated on March 31st, 2021
2. This one should probably have some ambient street sounds in the background
3. But I do not have the ability to record them

__________

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Pictures

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Notes:

1. Written/made on 19th March, 2021
2. The pictures were taken by my parents
3. In the 80s
4. And contain me, my sister, and both my brothers
5. At various different ages
6. The music is Shock Value by Vowl Sounds
7. From their wonderful album Message Recieved
8. Which I really love
9. You should buy it
10. Or at least listen to it

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Essex, England, May 2003

On May 3rd, 2003, I got a digital camera as a present from my parents. I was 24, living at home, and in the middle of doing my degree. We had two cats, and were soon to get a third.

Like everyone else with their first digital camera, I immediately spent the next month taking pictures of all the incredibly mundane things you were never really allowed to take pictures of before. Bookshelves and bathrooms and carpets and curtains. Desktops, cupboards, TV screens. Cats. So many cats.

Then I forgot all about ever taking them, and never looked at any of them again until now.

So here are nearly a thousand pictures of Essex, England, in May 2003. Almost all of them are extremely boring. A significant proportion of them are either of myself or my cats. 99% of them are in 640*480 format. 23% of them are extremely blurry.

Essex, England, May 2003

3rd May, 2003
5th May, 2003
7th May, 2003
8th May, 2003 (afternoon)
8th May, 2003 (evening)
9th May, 2003
10th May, 2003
11th May, 2003
14th May, 2003
15th May, 2003 (afternoon)
15th May, 2003 (evening)
16th May, 2003 (afternoon)
16th May, 2003 (evening)
17th May, 2003 (afternoon)
17th May, 2003 (evening)
18th May, 2003
19th May, 2003
24th May, 2003
25th May, 2003
26th May, 2003
27th May, 2003
28th May, 2003
30th May, 2003

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Notes:

1. I took these photos in May 2003
2. And made this website on March 12th and 13th, 2021
3. And I was going to write an essay explicating all the things I like about these pictures
4. But then I did not
5. Because it’s better just to look
6. At the past
7. Captured here in aspic
8. For the rest of known time

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Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!