Shakespearean Sonnet Machine

The Shakespearean Sonnet Machine (also here) spits out endless variations of Shakespeare’s 154 sonnets. Well, not quite endless, but there should be 562,448,656 different ones in there if you’re patient enough to keep reloading.

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Notes:

1. I made this on August 16th-August 18th, 2023
2. This works best with the Luminari font.
3. Which can probably be downloaded form plenty of places
4. But I have no idea whats genuine and whats a scam in the world of font websites
5. Sorry.
6. I cut and pasted the sonnets from this collection at Project Gutenberg. Hopefully I haven’t accidently added any errors.
7. Occasionally this throws up an irregular sonnet, which is due to Shakespeare himself deciding for some reason to depart from his meticulous form on a couple of occasions – Sonnet 99 has 5 (five!) lines in the first quatrain, and then Sonnet 126 doesn’t even have quatrains at all, and is just 6 rhyming couplets in a row. Stupid bloody Shakespeare.
8. There’s also probably hundreds of these sorts of things all across the internet but I haven’t actually checked.
9. I apologise for my likely unoriginality anyway.

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(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Possible Replacements For Defective Eyes

1. Glass Replica
2. Plastic Replica
3. Wooden Replica
4. Diamond Replica
5. LED Screen with fully animated image of eye.
6. Machine Gun (may require partial brain removal)
7. Kitten (will likely need constant replacement)
8. Void
9. Anti-void
10. The Entirety Of The Sun
11. Miniaturised Victorian Seaside Photographic Nudie Peepshow Apparatus

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Notes:

1. Written on December 12th, 2022
2. My eyes are terrible
3. And really do need replacing

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Cat, Fox, Others, Us

Cat

One night a cat appears. It does not leave. It lives here now. Nothing we say will change its mind.

Fox

One day a fox appears. It leaves. It’s gone now. We never see it again.

Others

They say things they do not mean. We do not forgive them. They linger. They leave.

Us

We say things we mean exactly. They do not forget them. We do not leave. We fester.

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Notes

1. Written January 4th 2023

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


The Safe

Inside the safe is:

£100
Watch
List of everyone I ever loved
Several previously unrevealed fears
Passport
Book of passwords
Keys to several long lost doors
And a map to an undisclosed location

Go ahead. Try all you like. If you can open it, they’re yours.

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Notes:

1. Written on March 17th, 2023

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Autopsy Report

The kittens were absolutely not supposed to be in there.

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Notes:

1. Written on October 27th, 2022

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!