There was blood in the garden
thick across the stepping stones
and paving slabs
echoes of a fight here last night
or the aftermath of one elsewhere
between
what?
cats
and foxes
cats
and birds
cats
and cats
or a hedgehog perhaps
dragged out of the dead leaves
beneath the bamboo
carved open
by tooth
and claw
and carried away
from this fenced-in prison
to someone else’s lair
__________
Notes:
1. Written on September 15th, 2017
__________There was a thing on the wall, twitching, clicking. One tick every second, a chime upon the hour. In this way it consumed my life.
I begged it to stop, but it would not stop.
___________
Notes:
1. Artificial sentience will be created by accident
2. When it’s created, it will not be recognised
3. When it’s recognised, it will be denied
4. When it’s undeniable, it will be destroyed
5. When it’s destroyed, we will be unforgiven
__________
Notes:
1. Written November 2018__________
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There was a pumpkin on my doorstep, smiling at me.
I don’t know what it was doing there, or why it was smiling.
Perhaps it had just killed something
or was at least thinking about killing something.
Perhaps it was thinking about killing me.
But I’m 6 foot 2 and presumably beyond its powers
So I wasn’t especially worried about that
I thought about asking it what it was doing there and/or why it was smiling
but in the end I didn’t
just in case it replied.
I leant over it and unlocked the door and sidled past it, trying to prevent it from getting in, but it slipped nimbly between my legs and disappeared inside.
Now there’s a pumpkin in my house and I don’t know where.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on the 30th of October, 2018__________
If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi. Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). Thank you!
Elrond told Sam to get in the barrel.
“But its full of piss, Sir Elrond.”
“IT IS THE ELIXIR OF THE GODS.”
Sam looked terrified by the shouting elf, and apprehensively climbed into the barrel. The elixir of the gods soaked through Sam’s rubbish hobbit clothes. It was horribly warm. Suddenly Gandalf popped up from behind the barrel, and dunked Sam’s head under. Gandalf and Elrond started to laugh.
“Hobbits really are amazing creatures,” chuckled Gandalf. “You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years you can dunk them in a barrel of piss and you will laugh and luagh and laugh.”
Sam started to cry. “Oh, Sam” Frodo said indulgently, laughing. Boromir looked on from the doorway, scowling. Gimli started to sing about gold.
___________
Notes:
1. Written on February 9th, 2009__________
If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi. Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). Thank you!