fairy tales

Tale #146: Four Tiny Tales

The King And The Peasant

The King said to himself, “To serve my people justly I must know life as they do.” To this end he took off his crown and his fine robes and dressed himself in rags and went out into the streets of his kingdom.

There he met a peasant, who said, “Why, O King, do you dress as a peasant?” The King said, “Why, O Peasant, do you dress as a king?” This baffled the peasant to such an extent that he ran away, fearing the King may be mad.

The King himself went back to his castle, put back on his crown, and pretended he had not left the hall all day. Things continued thereafter as before.

The King And The King Who Looked Exactly Alike

There were two kings who looked exactly alike. The people of both kingdoms said it was a miracle, but in fact it was merely the result of centuries of inbreeding between the ruling families of the region.

Soon after, they were swept away into the sea by a storm of rebellion caused by their own failures, and nothing of value was lost.

The Queen That Couldn’t Be Bothered

There was a Queen who simply could not be bothered. She stayed in bed mostly, and sometimes walked around the garden, but beyond that she had no interest in affairs. She once saw a cat and stroked it for a while, telling it of the wondrous things she had seen in her dreams, but otherwise she spoke to no-one.

She died at the age of 107 and was mourned briefly by all.

The Tide

The tide that goes out will come in again. The tide that comes in will go out soon enough.

A great poet made mention of this to the king. The King, being ill-equipped to understand metaphor, asked what the hell that had to do with his rule or his kingdom, and the poet was soon after removed from the hall.

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Notes:

1. These were written on July 30th, 2014
2. And have never been used before
3. Primarily because they’re completely pointless
4. Please don’t hate me

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Tale #145: The Ogre’s Boots

The Ogre’s Boots #1

A young man was walking along the road when he came across an ogre slumbering in the grass. “That ogre’s most likely up to no good,” said the lad, and so he crept up to the ogre, eased the sword from his belt, and stabbed him through the eye with such ferocity the blade came out of the back of the ogre’s skull and pinned his thrashing body to the ground.

When the ogre was finally dead, the young man prised open the ogre’s hand and removed the sack he was holding from his gargantuan grasp. Inside the sack were six children, which all ran off hither and thither through the grass and into the woods. None of them said a word to the young man who had rescued them.

Then out of the sack crawled a snake, and it looked at the lad and said, “Let me tell you a secret for saving my life. This ogre’s boots are magical, and they let you travel seven leagues in a single stride.” And with that the snake slithered off into the long grass and off towards the woods.

The young man prised the boots from the ogre’s feet and put them on his own, and they fit him perfectly, despite having previously fitted the ogre’s monstrous feet. Unfortunately, as the lad’s home was exactly six leagues away, his first step took him past his town, and no matter what he tried he could never get home again (the boots were unremovable).

The Ogre’s Boots #2

An ogre had been terrorising a town, and there seemed to be nothing anyone could do about it.

The youngest of seven sons sneaked off one night to the ogre’s castle. He climbed over the wall, sneaked under the bushes, slipped beneath the portcullis, crept silently along the corridors, and then squeezed through the keyhole on the ogre’s door and into its bedroom.

Instead of trying to kill the ogre as his dear dead brothers had, he decided rather to steal the the ogre’s boots. They were seven league boots, which meant that whoever wore them could traverse great distances in a single bound. He put them on, and ran as far away from the castle and the town as quickly as he could.

He lived on in happiness and splendour for many years. The town was destroyed by the ogre the very next day.

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Notes:

1. Written in September 2016
2. For the undex
3. If anyone remembers the undex

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Tale #144: The King In His Castle

The King sat in his castle and slowly went mad. It was his right and his pleasure. Within the walls, none could escape his ever growing insanity.

Outside, none knew of it. Or if they knew, they did not care. And even if they cared, no difference in his behaviour could they discern.

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Notes:

1. Written in July 2019
2. About no particular person
3. Or persons
4. We could name

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Tale #143: The Emperor’s Zoo

The animals and the people meet
no bars nor walls between their feet
Such are the rules
of the Emperor’s zoo

A gibbon shares a cup of tea
With a princess from across the sea
Such are the joys
of the Emperor’s zoo

A lion roars
a child dies
Such are the perils
of the Emperor’s zoo

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Notes:

1. Written on July 3rd, 2019

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

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Tale #142: The Ship Sailed Into The Harbour

The ship sailed into the harbour, empty and dead. No sign was there of struggle, but no sign was there of life.

And the people of the town, rather than worry about the mystery of whatever calamity had occurred, had to worry instead about whether they would be made to take the blame.

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Notes:

1. Written on July 3rd, 2019

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!