cat poem

a cat sneaked into my house today
and came upstairs
and saw me in my underwear

then it ran away
all the way back downstairs
and out the back door

into the garden
one quick look back from the safety of the fence
then gone for good

no amount of plaintive cries could bring it back

__________

1. Written on 8th May, 2018
2. Live, as it occurred

footballs

I was watching the footballs and every time they kicked the footballs the footballs split into two and soon the whole pitch was covered in footballs and yet still the children kept kicking them and they kept splitting into more and more footballs and slowly I realised they weren’t footballs at all but eggs and the eggs were laying eggs and the children were farming the eggs for their egg businesses all the kids had egg businesses now it was a very competitive field

Final Score: Egg 4-2 Sub Egg

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Notes:

1. Written on June 17th, 2016

Tale #4: To Follow A Cat

A priest was eating lunch one day in the seminary cloisters when a cat sauntered past his bench and made its way across the empty square without a care in the world. Curious as to where cats go when they travel around on their own, he decided to follow it on its perambulations. He hurried from his bench as it exited the churchyard and pursued it out into the town.

It was dusk before the priest returned. He went to bed without saying a word, and soon the priest went mad and died.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on July 15th, 2015
2. The phrase “soon the priest went mad and died” is taken from Japanese folk tale “The Emperor’s Finger”, translated by Royall Tyler, and found in the book “Japanese Tales”, which he edited and translated.
3. I’m pretty much convinced that every story ever written could be improved by using “Soon [the protagonist] went mad and died” as its final line.