Tales From The Town #189: Nostalgia Is The Yearning For Times And Places You Never Actually Liked At The Time

Antoine looked out of the window of his new flat above the chip shop, staring at the sea and the beach and the mist and the sky with a feeling of ever so slight wistfulness. It was nice having running water and a kitchen and a fridge and a bed that wasn’t filled with sand, but sometimes he missed his old cave.

He missed the mermaid. He missed the sounds of the sea. He missed the campfire. He even missed the crabs occasionally, sometimes, maybe.

“Your new flat’s the best flat ever, Dad,” Claire said, eating her second portion of chips of the day already and the day wasn’t even finished yet by far. “So much nicer than that stinky old cave. There’s not even any gulls stealing our chips!”

“And it’s right next to an arcade!” Daniel said, as he counted out various 2 and 10 pence pieces from the pint glass filled with coins Antoine had forgotten to hide before they came round today.

“And right next to another, slightly more expensive, arcade!” said Ethel, as she counted out the 20s and 50s and pounds, piling them all up into nicely precarious towers all over the table. “We only need another 7,000 prize tickets and we can win something that almost looks like a pokemon but which isn’t a pokemon at all.”

“It’s something even better than a pokemon!” said Daniel, his eyes wide with absolutely astounded wonder that such a thing could exist.

“And it’s opposite the bookshop,” said Tina, running her fingers over the gold embossed lettering on the cover of the book she’d just bought. Not that gold embossed lettering was important, of course. Books were all about the content, and it was entirely coincidental that the book she’d really wanted for months just happened to have gold embossed lettering on the cover. But they felt so nice. And looked amazing.

“I do kind of miss all those naughty crabs, though,” Daniel said.

“Me too,” Antoine agreed.

“Yeah, those crabs were great,” said Ethel.

“The way they’d scuttle about all over everything,” Tina said.

“And pinch us with their claws!” Daniel said.

“I don’t miss them at all,” Claire said. “We all hated those horrible little crabs and you all know it! Don’t even try and pretend we didn’t because we did. All of us.”

“I didn’t,” said Antoine, weakly.

“You did, Dad,” Claire said. “You hated them the most out of any of us!”

And that was that. Claire was right and they knew it and they hated it. So no one ever mentioned the crabs ever again.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 17th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #187: Facts About… Going Back To School

Panel 1: Facts About… Going Back To School (all caps, with a drop shadow and a quadruple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words “with Claire!!!” written in a jaunty font that closely resembles comic sans because it is actually comic sans and also it’s in bright red)
Panel 2: Close up on Claire’s face – “Back to school?”
Panel 3: Closer up on Claire’s face – “Back to cruel more like!”

Notes: If you would like to publish Facts About… With Claire! in your secret diary or on your own noticeboard please contact Claire at claire@claire.claire

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Notes:

1. Written on August 17th, 2024

__________

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Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #186: Dreams Of Animals

On the night of the 31st August, 2024, at exactly 1:23 am, the occupants of the house all simultaneously dreamt dreams that involved animals entering and/or occupying their home.

Agnes dreamt of autumnal dogs sleeping by the fire.
Ethel dreamt of cats and where in the house to find them.
Tina dreamt of a lightly freckled doe shivering in the hall.
Claire dreamt of otters misbehaving in the bathroom.
Anya dreamt birds were nesting in her bowl of all bran.
Oya dreamt of spiders weaving net curtains over all the open windows.
Daniel dreamt entire zoos into every room.
The dolls dreamt of ogres.
The house dreamt of all the ghosts it’d known.

What conclusions can we draw from this? None.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 13th, 2024

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

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Tales From The Town #185: Antiques

At the antiques fair, Simon sold his childhood for vastly more than he’d ever bought it for, but vastly less than he would eventually realise it was worth.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 14th, 2024

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #184: A Fort

The fort stood halfway up the hill at the end of the garden, as far beyond the swings as the swings were from the house. It was constructed from four deckchairs, one picnic blanket, two beach towels, someone’s t-shirt, three shoes and a stone. Its current supplies consisted of two jam sandwiches, one apple, and a packet of quavers, two water pistols, three quarters of a bucket of ammunition (paddling pool water), plus a colouring book, three pens, two dolls, and a plastic tea set (imaginary tea optional).

Their enemies occupied the Wendy House, and woud be resisted at all costs (up to and including getting soaked by water bombs).

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Notes:

1. Written on August 13th, 2024

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!