Tales From The Town #187: Facts About… Going Back To School

Panel 1: Facts About… Going Back To School (all caps, with a drop shadow and a quadruple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words “with Claire!!!” written in a jaunty font that closely resembles comic sans because it is actually comic sans and also it’s in bright red)
Panel 2: Close up on Claire’s face – “Back to school?”
Panel 3: Closer up on Claire’s face – “Back to cruel more like!”

Notes: If you would like to publish Facts About… With Claire! in your secret diary or on your own noticeboard please contact Claire at claire@claire.claire

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Notes:

1. Written on August 17th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #186: Dreams Of Animals

On the night of the 31st August, 2024, at exactly 1:23 am, the occupants of the house all simultaneously dreamt dreams that involved animals entering and/or occupying their home.

Agnes dreamt of autumnal dogs sleeping by the fire.
Ethel dreamt of cats and where in the house to find them.
Tina dreamt of a lightly freckled doe shivering in the hall.
Claire dreamt of otters misbehaving in the bathroom.
Anya dreamt birds were nesting in her bowl of all bran.
Oya dreamt of spiders weaving net curtains over all the open windows.
Daniel dreamt entire zoos into every room.
The dolls dreamt of ogres.
The house dreamt of all the ghosts it’d known.

What conclusions can we draw from this? None.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 13th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #185: Antiques

At the antiques fair, Simon sold his childhood for vastly more than he’d ever bought it for, but vastly less than he would eventually realise it was worth.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 14th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #184: A Fort

The fort stood halfway up the hill at the end of the garden, as far beyond the swings as the swings were from the house. It was constructed from four deckchairs, one picnic blanket, two beach towels, someone’s t-shirt, three shoes and a stone. Its current supplies consisted of two jam sandwiches, one apple, and a packet of quavers, two water pistols, three quarters of a bucket of ammunition (paddling pool water), plus a colouring book, three pens, two dolls, and a plastic tea set (imaginary tea optional).

Their enemies occupied the Wendy House, and woud be resisted at all costs (up to and including getting soaked by water bombs).

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Notes:

1. Written on August 13th, 2024

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Tale From The Town #183: Daniel’s Guide To The Size Of Dogs

Little Tiny Dogs – Little Tiny Dogs are the littlest of all dogs.
Tiny Dogs – Tiny Dogs are the second littlest of all dogs.
Little Dogs – Little Dogs are the third littlest of all dogs.
Normal Dogs – Normal Dogs are neither little nor big but inbetween. You can tell if a dog is a normal sized dog because Mum doesn’t point at them and say “Look at that Little Dog” or “Look at that Big Dog” when she sees one. Instead she says nothing about them at all.
Big Dogs – Big Dogs are the fourth biggest of all dogs.
Really Big Dogs – Really Big Dogs are third biggest of all dogs.
Huge Dogs – Huge Dogs are the second biggest of all dogs.
Horses – Horses are the biggest dogs by far.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 3rd, 2024

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