Tales From The Town #122: Sales

The salesman wanders from door to door, an endless collection of wonders kept in the back of his car. A magician taking his art to the people, one household at a time. He knows what we want better than we know ourselves.

Doorbell pressed. Smile engaged. Anticipation building within him like electricity coursing through a Tesla coil.

There is no escaping your own desire.

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Notes:

1. Written on 25th May, 2023

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Tales From The Town #121: Eclipse

The rules of the eclipse were you could only look at the sun when there was no more sun left to see. And even then you still had to wear glasses.

It wasn’t any fun at all.

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Notes:

1. Written on the 2nd of July, 2023

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(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

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Absurdist Conversation Generator

The Absurdist Conversation Generator generates absurdist conversations and nothing more. Contains 1,500,625 conversations!

(Available here and here)

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Notes:

1. This was made on July 29th, 2023
2. Using TWINE again

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Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #120: Ice Cream Competition

“Two scoops?!” Tina said, wide eyed with awe. “I’ve never had two scoops before.”

“Mine’s got two scoops too,” said Daniel. “In different flavours!

“Mine has two scoops and a flake!” said Ethel. “I don’t know what’s gotten into dad but I like it.”

“I think maybe he’s just sad,” said Tina. “He’s not been the same since the mermaid ran off with that walrus last year.”

There was a moment of silence as they contemplated their father, as he counted out his sand and seaweed covered coins at the ice cream counter.

“Yeah, well mine has THREE scoops!” Claire shouted, quickly getting back to what was important. “And I’ve got two of them!” She pulled her arm out from behind her back with a flourish a magician would have been proud of. “You’ll never beat that!”

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Notes:

1. Written on May 26th, 2023

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


The Coin Toss World Cup

“Come one! Come all! And welcome to the ultimate test of skill… That’s right, live from the Independent Monetary Kingdom of Coinland, it’s time once again for The Coin Toss World Cup! 8 billion players from all around the world! One solitary winner! Who will it be? Who knows! But it could be you! And it has to be someone!”

The Coin Toss World Cup (available here and here) is an exciting game of skill and talent in which YOU could become the number one “heads-or-tailser” in the world! All you have to do is choose (and not lose)!

Please Note: The download version on itch.io also includes a commentary free version, if you want to skip everything but the coin tossing. And also there’s an animation of a £2 coin rotating on a piece of paper I made that I included for some reason.

Please Also Note: If you can’t download them for some reason, you can also play The Coin Toss World Cup here straight away with no extra clicking or anything, and play the commentary free version here, too).

Please Also Finally Note: The save menu (with back buttons too) might be hidden on mobile, so you’ll need to click the arrow in the top left corner to make that appear. Not that I can think of any reason at all why you might want to utilise a back button of all things.

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Notes:

1. The Coin Toss World Cup was made in July 2023
2. Using TWINE
3. I like TWINE
4. Anyway I just wanted to make a sports game without any sports really.
5. So I made this.
6. I’ve always loved the coin tosses they make players do before matches and penalty shootouts and whatever
7. And reading about all those old football matches that were decided by coin tosses
8. And or also elections sometimes too
9. Which always leaves me feeling kind of weird when I think about it.
10. For some reason.
11. Anyway, that £1 coin in the cover image is my favourite £1 coin ever
12. It has a skull on it.
13. “Heads or SKULL?”
14. More coins should have skulls on them.
15. Or even maybe an actual tail one day.

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!