Tales From The Town #191: In The Basement In The Bookshop

In the basement in the bookshop you could find: the science fiction books, the fantasy novels, the fairy tale collections, the folklore compendiums, pamphlets of poetry, artists’ manifestos, dissidents’ diaries, and the shelf full of sale items with torn covers and tattered spines. There was even a comfy old armchair, and occasionally a cat, but never, of course, anyone else at all.

Eleonora never told anyone this was where she spent every lunch hour, It was her own secret den, an oasis all to herself in the middle of an endless desert of days of despair.

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Notes:

1. Written on September 19th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #189: Nostalgia Is The Yearning For Times And Places You Never Actually Liked At The Time

Antoine looked out of the window of his new flat above the chip shop, staring at the sea and the beach and the mist and the sky with a feeling of ever so slight wistfulness. It was nice having running water and a kitchen and a fridge and a bed that wasn’t filled with sand, but sometimes he missed his old cave.

He missed the mermaid. He missed the sounds of the sea. He missed the campfire. He even missed the crabs occasionally, sometimes, maybe.

“Your new flat’s the best flat ever, Dad,” Claire said, eating her second portion of chips of the day already and the day wasn’t even finished yet by far. “So much nicer than that stinky old cave. There’s not even any gulls stealing our chips!”

“And it’s right next to an arcade!” Daniel said, as he counted out various 2 and 10 pence pieces from the pint glass filled with coins Antoine had forgotten to hide before they came round today.

“And right next to another, slightly more expensive, arcade!” said Ethel, as she counted out the 20s and 50s and pounds, piling them all up into nicely precarious towers all over the table. “We only need another 7,000 prize tickets and we can win something that almost looks like a pokemon but which isn’t a pokemon at all.”

“It’s something even better than a pokemon!” said Daniel, his eyes wide with absolutely astounded wonder that such a thing could exist.

“And it’s opposite the bookshop,” said Tina, running her fingers over the gold embossed lettering on the cover of the book she’d just bought. Not that gold embossed lettering was important, of course. Books were all about the content, and it was entirely coincidental that the book she’d really wanted for months just happened to have gold embossed lettering on the cover. But they felt so nice. And looked amazing.

“I do kind of miss all those naughty crabs, though,” Daniel said.

“Me too,” Antoine agreed.

“Yeah, those crabs were great,” said Ethel.

“The way they’d scuttle about all over everything,” Tina said.

“And pinch us with their claws!” Daniel said.

“I don’t miss them at all,” Claire said. “We all hated those horrible little crabs and you all know it! Don’t even try and pretend we didn’t because we did. All of us.”

“I didn’t,” said Antoine, weakly.

“You did, Dad,” Claire said. “You hated them the most out of any of us!”

And that was that. Claire was right and they knew it and they hated it. So no one ever mentioned the crabs ever again.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 17th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #188: On the Existence Of Hedgehogs

“Do you think hedgehogs actually exist?” Claire asked. “Because I don’t think hedgehogs exist AT ALL!”

This question/declaration of Claire’s had nothing to do with anything anyone had said or that anyone was doing, but it seemed overwhelmingly important to Claire at that precise moment in time. She’d been thinking about this a lot.

“Of course they exist,” said Tina. “Why wouldn’t they exist?”

“Because I’ve never seen one.”

“You have,” Ethel said. “We all have.”

“I haven’t,” said Claire.

“Well I have,” said Ethel. “In the garden.”

“Prove it,” said Claire.

“You prove it,” said Ethel.

“That’s not how proof works,” said Claire.

“You’re not how proof works,” said Ethel.

“I saw two hedgehogs once,” said Daniel.

“You haven’t,” said Claire.

“They were getting married,” said Daniel.

“They weren’t!”

“They had FOUR babies!” said Daniel. “And a nephew.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” said Claire, kicking the pieces off the Monopoly board and storming out of the room before anyone remembered she hadn’t paid off any of her recently declared debts.

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Notes:

1. Written on 17th August, 2024

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Tales From The Town #187: Facts About… Going Back To School

Panel 1: Facts About… Going Back To School (all caps, with a drop shadow and a quadruple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words “with Claire!!!” written in a jaunty font that closely resembles comic sans because it is actually comic sans and also it’s in bright red)
Panel 2: Close up on Claire’s face – “Back to school?”
Panel 3: Closer up on Claire’s face – “Back to cruel more like!”

Notes: If you would like to publish Facts About… With Claire! in your secret diary or on your own noticeboard please contact Claire at claire@claire.claire

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Notes:

1. Written on August 17th, 2024

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

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Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #186: Dreams Of Animals

On the night of the 31st August, 2024, at exactly 1:23 am, the occupants of the house all simultaneously dreamt dreams that involved animals entering and/or occupying their home.

Agnes dreamt of autumnal dogs sleeping by the fire.
Ethel dreamt of cats and where in the house to find them.
Tina dreamt of a lightly freckled doe shivering in the hall.
Claire dreamt of otters misbehaving in the bathroom.
Anya dreamt birds were nesting in her bowl of all bran.
Oya dreamt of spiders weaving net curtains over all the open windows.
Daniel dreamt entire zoos into every room.
The dolls dreamt of ogres.
The house dreamt of all the ghosts it’d known.

What conclusions can we draw from this? None.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 13th, 2024

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!