Tales From The Town #109: Market Stall

“How much is that?”

“A pound.”

“How much is that?”

“A pound.”

“How much is that?”

“A pound. Everything’s a pound,” Simon said, simultaneously pointing to the sign that said, “Everything £1”.

“Oh,” said Claire. She opened up her palm a fraction and counted out her coins again. “Urgh. Wait, how much is that?”

“A pound.”

“They can’t ALL be a pound!?”

“A pound.”

“This is so unfair!”

“A pound. Everything’s a pound.”

“I told Daniel we shouldn’t have bought those penny sweets!”

“A pound.”

“But we bought those penny sweets!”

“A pound.”

“I DON’T EVEN LIKE PENNY SWEETS!”

“A pound,” said Simon, dreaming of pounds. “Everything’s a pound.”

__________

Notes:

1. Written on March 30th, 2023

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Tales From The Town #108: Seven Unrelated Incidents From Around The Town On A Bank Holiday Weekend In Early May

1. Lucy stood on the pier and looked out to sea. She did not care what was currently occurring behind her. The smoke of flames and ghosts neither mingle nor mix.

2. The dogs ran beneath the moons at noon, howling at every single one with a joy that was hard for any human heart to possess.

3. Yulia lay in a boat at the harbour and dreamed a dream of a dream within a dream, waking luxuriously from each one over the course of an especially decadent hour. Even the mermaid was jealous.

4. Smoke billowed up like volcanic clouds from the centre of town. Alarms sounded and were subsequently ignored.

5. The blinds in the mayor’s office opened briefly for a moment, then closed again before anyone had noticed.

6. The whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and the whale looked at the penguin and the penguin looked at the whale and not once did they blink or back down.

7. Edith’s barbecue clearly did not go as planned, but she insisted afterwards that in fact it absolutely had.

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Notes:

1. Written on May 17th, 2022

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Tales From The Town #107: A Skeleton In A Spacesuit

The skeleton in the spacesuit stands at the entrance to the pier. The stitches are unravelling, the helmet fogged, the insignia faded to the point of illegibility, but still it works. Put in a pound and it laughs and laughs. It even gives an awkward little wave.

No one has ever put in a pound nor ever will.

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Notes:

1. Written on March 23rd, 2023

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Tales From The Town #106: Radio Broadcasts

First Broadcast

“…ust press that, and then speak into that.”

“I’ve already pressed that.”

“Claire!”

“What?”

“That means we’re already broadcasting. People can hear us right now!

“You know you’re not supposed to press the buttons, Claire! Only me and Ethel can press the buttons.”

“What? Why?”

“Because we’re the engineers!”

“I thought you were a poet?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Claire. I am not a poet. I just write po-”

“So, anyway, what happens if I press this butt-”

(static/silence)

Second Broadcast

(strange ululations)

“What are you doing in here, Daniel? Your sisters said I wasn’t supposed to let anyone in here until they’ve finished writing their stories.”

“Singing.”

(ululations continue)

Last Broadcast

“…and then the spaceship EXPLODED! Everyone was killed horribly and no one survived at all. It was brilliant!”

“Claire! Press the button! Quick!”

“Yeah, Claire! You can’t say that on the radio!”

“Why not? I just did.”

“People might think it’s true.”

“Only people who are idiots. Anyway, you’re just jealous my story was better than your stories.”

“It was not!”

“In your story no one exploded at all.”

“Someone imploded in mine. That’s just as good.”

“No it’s not.”

“It is!”

“Imploding doesn’t even count. Especially not when they only imploded because they were sad! As if that would happen!”

“It’s a metaphor, Claire.”

“That’s even worse, Tina! Metaphorical implosions are the worst explosions ever and I hate them!”

“Wait, are we still broadcasting?”

“I don’t know. You’re the ones who said you knew how to use Dad’s stupid old junk!”

“We are still broadcasting!”

“Claire! You were supposed to press the button!”

“We told you to press the button!”

“No, you told me to never press the buttons ever again.”

“You’re allowed to press it when we tell you to press it!”

“That doesn’t make any sense at all and you both know it.”

“Just press the button Claire!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Well, I’ll press it then!”

“NO! No!”

“Urgh, Claire. We’re telling Mum! You’re ruining everything!”

“I don’t care! So anyway, what happens if I touch that button there?”

“What button where?”

“That one up there. The one that says do not touch.”

“Oh right, yeah, don’t touch that one, Claire.”

“Don’t EVER touch that one, Claire.”

“Why not?”

“Because it… Claire!? NO!”

(everything explodes. there are no survivors)

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Notes:

1. Written on March 20th, 2023

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Tales From The Town #105: Unscheduled Weekend Away

Hana spread her wings and let the breeze take her where it wanted, floated away until the town was indistinguishable from the city, from the sea, from the forests and the fields, the sky, the clouds, the stars.

Closed her eyes, let the sun turn everything red, and didn’t open them again until she was on her way past the moons, halfway to Mars.

Maybe Jupiter if she missed her stop.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on March 20th, 2023

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!