Three pretty poor poems


I bought a posher yoghurt than usual
because it was on offer
and therefore cheaper
than the yoghurts
that aren’t as posh
that I usually buy

It was one of those
where the yoghurt is on top
and the fruit beneath
in a geological layer
at the bottom of the tub

When I got round to eating it
I ate from the top
forgetting to mix it up
or whatever it is
you’re supposed to do

So at the bottom
I was left with
a centimetre or so
of thin blueberry jam
which wasn’t very nice
when eaten on its own



My knee aches
and I dream of it snapping
when I’m out for a walk
or climbing up the stairs
in the bookshop

and the spectacle I’d make
screaming in the park
or tumbling backwards
onto a table
piled high
with paperbacks
that I’ve no interest
in reading


The last page of the notebooks I keep in my pocket wherever I go

This last page is usually filled
with the names of books
that I’ve seen round the shops
and thought that look interesting
that I can’t afford to buy

But it’s empty this time
because I’ve not been to the shops
since before this notebook began



1. I wrote these on July 21st, 2018
2. I had just been reading a book by Tim Key
3. And was overcome by the urge to poem
4. Or whatever the term is
5. Unfortunately the results were a bit of a disappointment
6. Also there was a fourth poem
7. It was called Piss
8. And went:

That’s what I said
That’s what I thought

9. But it was too poor to include here
10. So I left it in the notebook


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