Tales From The Town #60: Entrance Interview

It was the eyes that did it. Those eyes.

Agnes couldn’t remember anything he’d actually said during the interview, but after she’d shown him the house, the rooms, the garden, the children, all it took was one look from those eyes, those dreamy blue eyes, and she found herself nodding, agreeing, holding her hand out towards him to confirm that yes, he could move in whenever he was ready.

And so the deal was done. There was no turning back now. The lodger had arrived.

___________

Notes:

1. Written on May 9th, 2022

The Day The Queen Came Round For Tea

The queen came round to our house for tea once. She wasn’t invited, she just turned up. Apparently she has the right. She didn’t even take her shoes off in the porch, just shuffled right in without a care in the world. Mum was furious but she didn’t say a word. I think she was more upset because she knew that from now on whenever she told us to take our shoes off we’d just say, “But the queen never did,” and she was right, we did all say that, for years. Kids are awful, really. Kids are the worst.

There was some cake in the cupboard but the ants had got in there again so all Mum had for the queen was some of those pink wafer things you don’t seem to get anymore but you used to get back then. Not exactly a queenly gift, but well it was all we had. If she wanted better she should have phoned ahead really. Not that the queen seemed to notice. She didn’t even touch her tea, let alone the biscuits. Snooty bitch.

When dad got in from work we all told him about how the queen came round for tea but she was gone now and he’d missed her, and he was quite upset because apparently the queen doesn’t have the right after all and we’d all been taken for mugs. Mugs.

“And which of you little brats has been traipsing mud all through the hall…”

He was really quite irate. Stupid dad.

Anyway, the queen never came round for tea again, and dad got rid of the ants somehow. He wouldn’t tell us how. Then Mum ran off to Germany with a prince and that was the end of that.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on June 3rd, 2022

Tales From The Town #59: New Rooms

The house had grown again. Children ran through the new rooms in a state of excitement. Adults shook their heads in slight disquiet. Outside, the windows no longer corresponded with their location within.

___________

Notes:

1. Written on 13th April, 2022

This is just to say

I have broken
the rules
that were in
the regulations

and which
you were probably
following
at home

Forgive me
I am capricious
faux meek
yet so bold

___________

Notes:

1. Written on May 25th, 2022
2. A parody
3. I’ve never done one of these before