Tales From The Town #74: Surveillance Tapes (27-30)

27: Playground (break time)

“Who are you?” Tina asked the new girl.

“Who are you?” the new girl asked Tina.

“Tina,” said Tina.

“I’m called Tina too,” said Tina. “I can’t believe we’re both called Tina.”

“Everyone’s called Tina,” said Tina. She pointed round the playground. “Tina, Tina, Tina. And she’s Tina, and she’s Tina, too.”

“What about her?” the new Tina said, pointing to the only other girl hanging around outside.

“Oh she used to be called Tina but she changed it,” said Tina, rolling her eyes. “She’s called Teena now.”

Tina looked at Tina in confusion.

“With two E’s,” Tina clarified.

“Oh right,” said Tina. “How pretentious!”

28: The Beach (lunch time)

Antoine: How’s everything back at the house?
Agnes: Fine, fine. (pause) Actually, it’s pretty awful. Well, not awful, but, you know, there’s lots of weird things going on back home.
Antoine: New rooms again?
Agnes: No. Well, yes, but it’s not that. It’s the unsettling sort of weird. Strange phone calls, things going missing. Sometimes I keep getting the feeling we’re all being watched. And now today all the dolls disappeared. That was pretty weird.
Antoine: I thought you hated those dolls.
Agnes: Of course I don’t hate the dolls. They’re just… You have to admit they’re a bit creepy, right?
Antoine: I always thought they were sweet.
Agnes: Yeah, you would, I suppose.
Antoine: How are the kids?
Agnes: Oh they’re fine. Last week someone gave Claire some Wotsits. She went bright orange and started babbling about the future apparently. Then she threw up everywhere.
Antoine: Oh no. Is she okay?
Agnes: Yeah, she’s fine now. Worse than ever. But still… At least they’re back to school now, I suppose. Man, the summer holidays are so long…
Antoine: At least it looks like it might rain later. Finally wash all that summer away.

21: Detention

“What did you do?” Claire said.

“Nothing,” said Carolina. Carolina was a whole year older than Claire. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” said Claire. She sat down on the piano at the front of the class room with a big discordant clang. “I never do anything wrong at all. Ever. I don’t know why I’m here at all.”

“Me neither,” said Carolina. She came over and sat down next to Claire with a smaller, higher pitched, discordant clang. “I’m the best behaved girl in the whole school and they’re all jealous.”

“I’m the best behaved girl in the whole town,” said Claire, proudly. She swung her feet back and forth and kicked the stool over.

“I’m the best behaved girl in the whole world,” said Carolina, as she swung her arms round and smacked the little pots of sunflowers off the window ledge and onto the floor.

“I’m the best behaved girl in the whole universe,” said Claire, as she jumped off the piano and stamped in all the mud they’d just spilt.

“What are you two doing in here?” the head mistress asked from the doorway.

“Nothing!”

22: Kitchen (after school)

Agnes: Look, I’m sorry everyone, I know it’s Friday, but I can’t find my purse. I think I might have left it in the cafe at the beach. Well, I hope I did, cause otherwise I don’t know where it is. So all I’ve got is… a pound. You’re going to have to share.
Claire: I don’t want to share. I got home from school first, so I should have it all to myself!
Ethel: You didn’t get home first.
Claire: I did!
Tina: We all got home together.
Claire: I rang the doorbell. That means I was first.
Ethel: We even waited for you while you were getting told off.
Claire: I wasn’t getting told off. I was getting told on!
Ethel: That’s not even a thing.
Claire: It is!
Ethel: It isn’t.
Tina: Anyway you weren’t first. Ringing the doorbell doesn’t mean anything.
Claire: If I hadn’t rung the doorbell no one would have answered the door and we’d all still be outside in the rain. We might all be DEAD!
Ethel: No we wouldn’t be.
Tina: It’s not even raining.
Claire: Not now. But it was. And I WAS first and that means I definitely should have all the money and you should all have nothing!
Agnes: None of you are having nothing. Or all of you are having nothing. It’s your choice.
Ethel: And she wasn’t first, Mum!
Tina: We were all first.
Claire: We can’t all be first. You might as well say we were all last when we all know Daniel was last because we ran ahead and left him.
Agnes: You shouldn’t run ahead and leave anyone. You’re supposed to come home together.
Claire: Well he shouldn’t have been spinning round and round on the spot and refusing to move then!
Daniel: I wasn’t spinning. I was rotating. Like the earth. Or the moon.
Claire: The moon doesn’t rotate. It just stares at us like a great big gruesome eye!
Daniel: You’re a great big gruesome eye!
Agnes: Daniel!
Claire: I am not! And even if I was a great big gruesome eye I still got home first.
Ethel: You didn’t!
Claire: You didn’t! I did.
Ethel: She didn’t, Mum!
Claire: I did. I definitely did.
Agnes: Actually, I think I’m going to have to agree with the others here Claire. Sorry.
Claire: But Mum! I really did. No one else rings the doorbell as loudly as me. Or as long.
Agnes: I know that, Claire. It’s not that, though. It’s more the, er, philosophical nature of the debate.
Claire: The what? I was first and that’s that.
Agnes: Look, how shall I put this. Okay, as we were just talking about the moon. Who was the first person on the moon, Claire?
Claire: I don’t know. Selene?
Agnes: What?
Claire: You know, Selene. She was born on the moon.
Agnes: I see. Well, I’m not sure she could have been the first person on the moon if she was born there.
Claire: Selene’s Mum then.
Daniel: The first person on the moon was Noel Wrongson and the second person on the moon was Fuzz Buzz Buzz.
Claire: Fuzz Buzz Buzz? You’ve made that up, Daniel. Mum, Daniel made that up!
Agnes: Well it doesn’t matter what their names were, Claire. The point is that actually they were both the first person on the moon. Who the first person to step outside doesn’t matter. Because they were in the spaceship together and they’d already landed on the moon by then.
Claire: So who was the first person to step outside?
Agnes: Neil Armstrong. But that’s not the —
Claire: See! Someone’s always first and someone’s always last. And I was first and Fuzz Buzz Buzz was last and that’s that. Now where’s my pound, Mum?

___________

Notes:

1. Written in May, July and September 2022

Tales From The Town #73: Surveillance Tapes (21-23)

21: Loft/Basement (simultaneous recording)

(unidentified voices rising then falling, occasional jubilant(?!) screams)

“…the witch?”
“The witch!”
“There’s no one else!”
“Only her!”
“Not the little ones!”
“But the witch!”
“The witch!”
“We have to ask her!”
“Ask the witch?”
“Ask the witch to help!”
“To help!”
“We have to make her promise!”
“Make her promise to help!”
“Tell her we can pay!”
“Tell her we know the price!”
“The price of a promise!”
“A promise to help!”
“It’s the only way!”
“The only way we can help!”
“Help the little ones!”
“And the big ones!”
“Help the house!”
“And the tree!”
“And the cat!”
“And her evil claws!”
“There’s no one else!”
“Just the witch!”
“…the witch?”
“The witch!”

22: Hall

(phone rings)

Agnes: Hello?… No, I’m sorry, I think you must have the wrong number… No, there’s no Mr. Terafina here, I can assure you….It doesn’t matter how you spell it…. Yes, I am quite sure… That’s none of your business, Madam!… I am being polite… You’re the one accusing me of all sorts… Well, you do that, then. I’ll tell them exactly what I’ve told you.,,, For the third time, there’s no Mr. Terafina here… Well, I don’t know why he gave you my number, but he doesn’t live here… This number’s as old as the house and as old as the exchange. It hasn’t changed since forever… And good day to you, too!…(click)… Urgh!

(the phone is placed back in its cradle with an audible bang)

23: By The Swing (Saturday afternoon)

Tina: What’s wrong Claire?
Claire: …
Ethel: You look all funny.
Claire: ….
Ethel: Have you been eating Wotsits again, Claire?
Claire: …..
Tina: You look like you’ve been eating Wotsits again.
Claire: ……
Ethel: You know you’re not allowed to eat Wotsits, Claire.
Claire: …….
Claire: ……..
Ethel: Mum! Claire’s been eating Wotsits again!
Claire: ………

__________

Notes:

1. Written in May and also August, 2022

Tales From The Town #72: The Children’s Court (second session)

Topic: The Lodger And How Awful He Is And What Can Be Done to Stop Him Doing Whatever It Is He’s Doing Which Is Evil Whatever It Is And Must Be Stopped
Attendees: Claire, Ethel, Tina, Daniel, The Cat, A Doll
Location: The Wall Near The Shop That’s Closed Down Now Where They Used To Buy Sweets
Ambience: Crisp packets in the wind

Claire: … and he said I was loud and that’s why I hate him and HE MUST BE STOPPED!
Tina: But how?
Claire: That’s what we’re discussing, Tina!
Tina: Sorry. I was stroking the cat.
Claire: That cat could chase him out of his room if she cared. But she doesn’t. Because she’s a cat! And you spoil her!
Ethel: We all spoil her.
Claire: I don’t.
Tina: You’re too busy pining for the class crocodile.
Ethel: She’s never going to marry you, Claire.
Claire: Who wants to get married to a crocodile. (pause) We’re going to become legally sisters!
Tina: She’ll be our sister too then.
Ethel: You’ll have to share her with us.
Daniel: I could ride her into battle!
Claire: You will not ride her into battle. We’ll walk into battle side by side like equals. And then she’ll eat the lodger right up and that’ll be the end of that!
(pause)
Tina: But if that plan doesn’t work, what else should we do? We have to do something.
Ethel: I asked Lucas if he knew anything about the lodger that might help us but he didn’t even know we had a lodger or what a lodger even was.
Claire: Why would Lucas know anything about anyone? He just lives in the mirror brushing his hair. He’s so boring. We don’t even know if he can see us.
Tina: If we can see him it stands to reason he can see us.
Claire: You don’t know that!
Tina: We do.
Ethel: Why do you think we’ve all been learning to write backwards, Claire? We can communicate with him now.
Claire: He can’t even speak! He’s totally silent! Like a ghost! (pause) And there’s no such thing as ghosts and you know it!
Ethel: He nods and smiles and brushes his hair at different speeds.
Tina: We’ve got a whole book filled with notes interpreting the codes.
Daniel: Lucas lives in the past which means we must live in the future.
Claire: Maybe we live in the past and he lives in the future.
Tina: He clearly lives in the past. Just look at his hair.
Ethel: And his clothes.
Daniel: And his name.
Claire: None of that proves anything at all. Anyone could be called Lucas! There’s a boy in our school called Lucas.
Ethel: No there’s not.
Claire: There is. You’ve just never met him. Anyway, we don’t even know if he IS called Lucas.
Ethel: He looks like a Lucas.
Claire: And you DON’T look like an Ethel yet you are an Ethel.
Ethel: That doesn’t make any sense, Claire.
Claire: It does. It must do because everyone says it. Even the lodger and he’s awful.
Ethel: Of course he’s awful, Claire. That’s why we’re having this meeting!
Claire: If Lucas IS from the future he could tell us exactly everything the lodger has done and will do and how he gets caught and then we could stop him before he does it! We’ll be heroes!
Tina: Lucas is not from the future, Claire. He’s just… not!
Claire: Well I say he is! He could have stupid old hair like that and wear that velvet jacket because that sort of thing becomes all fashionable again in like, I don’t know, a BILLION years time, and that’s how come he can appear in our mirror because they’ve invented time machines then and they’re just mirrors to us but they’re like PORTALS to them and that’s like how it all works. (pause) I think that makes more sense than whatever theory any of you have about why Lucas is in the mirror and you can’t convince me otherwise you just can’t.
Ethel: I asked him what year it was and he said it was 1878.
Claire: 1878 TWO! At some point they run out of years and start going backwards again. Like how they told us that skull on the hill was from the year 4000 and I thought it was from the future but they meant a completely different year 4000 that happened in the past. (pause) Anyway, this is more like how Mum has the same haircut as the witch even though the witch is like a hundred years old. Or like how Dad’s really into mermaids just like all those stupid idiots at school with their mermaid bags and their mermaid t-shirts and their mermaid dolls which they never let me play with that I don’t want to play with anyway because I HATE mermaids.
Tina: I think Dad’s just into one specific mermaid instead of mermaids in general.
Daniel: Once I swam out to sea with the mermaid and I was a man mermaid and my hair was so long everyone thought it was seaweed but it wasn’t seaweed it was my hair. That’s why I no longer live in the sea.
Claire: Will you shut up about mermaids? They don’t even have any feet!

Little further progress on the initial topic of discussion was made.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on 22nd-25th May, 2022

Tales From The Town #71: The Mirror Of The History

For all of us to see hangs the mirror in the hall.

The mirror reflects perfectly, yet leaves nothing looking quite the same. It lives on spite, on kindliness, on despair, on care, love, insecurities, fear, memories.

It is as permanent as our sense of self, as ephemeral as the glance of our eyes, as fragile as the glass of its making.

The mirror itself is never seen. We look beyond its surface. Everything it contains is borrowed from outside.

In the hall the mirror hangs for all of us to see.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on May 10th, 2022

Tales From The Town #71: The History Of The Mirror

In the hall the mirror hangs for all of us to see.

Everything it contains is borrowed from outside. We look beyond its surface. The mirror itself is never seen.

It is as fragile as the glass of its making, as ephemeral as the glance of our eyes, as permanent as our sense of self.

It lives on memories, lives on fear, on insecurities, on love, care, despair, kindliness, spite. The mirror reflects perfectly, yet leaves nothing looking quite the same.

For all of us to see hangs the mirror in the hall.

__________

Notes:

1. Written on 10th May, 2022