Tales From The Town #123: The End Of Ignorance, or Technological Solutions To Previously Insoluble Problems

“AI is amazing,” Antione told the gathered audience of potential technological enthusiasts. “It can do anything! It knows everything! Never again shall we have to think and wonder when we can simply ask and know!”

There was a moment of awed silence that went on for quite a bit longer than Antione was expecting.

“So, c’mon kids, you must have something you want to ask it?”

“Dad, we’re playing with the campfire,” Claire said, as her and Daniel poked it with sticks and sent great clouds of smoke billowing through the cave. “We don’t have time to talk to a creepy dead doll with a phone in its skull.”

“It’s not creepy,” Antoine said. “I thought you liked dolls.”

“Wait, that doll’s yours?” Tina said. “I thought it was something Claire had stolen from the witch’s house.”

“I don’t steal things,” Claire said. “I take them.”

“That’s the same thing,” Ethel said.

“You’re the same thing,” Claire said.

“Maybe,” Antoine said, trying to return the topic of conversation back to its original path. “We could ask the AI whether stealing and taking are the same thing.”

“Couldn’t you just ask us, Dad?” Tina said. “Because we all know the answer to that. Even Claire knows. She just pretends she doesn’t.”

“I don’t pretend anything,” Claire said. “I just DO!”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Ethel said.

“You don’t make any sense,” Claire said.

“Maybe we could just ask the…”

“Shut up, Dad!”

“Claire! Don’t you dare tell dad to shut up!”

“I can tell who I want to shut up!”

“No you can’t!”

“CAN!”

“CAN’T!”

“Daniel,” Antoine said quietly. “I bet you’ve got a question or two about things, right?”

“In the mouth of the cavern a dragon sleeps,” Daniel said, throwing a pinecone onto the fire to make it belch flames and smoke out again. “And in the dragon’s mouth there’s a cavern you can sleep in.” Daniel looked up from the flames and stared through the smoke at Antoine. “So how do we know if we’re the dragon in the cave or the cave in the dragon?”

Antoine looked back through the smoke at Daniel.

“That question was for the doll,” Daniel added.

“Oh right,” Antoine said, slightly relieved, “Er, did you hear that, little dollAI? Are we the dragon in the cave or the cave in the dragon?”

The doll did not respond.

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Notes:

1. Written on 26th May, 2023

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Tales From The Town #122: Sales

The salesman wanders from door to door, an endless collection of wonders kept in the back of his car. A magician taking his art to the people, one household at a time. He knows what we want better than we know ourselves.

Doorbell pressed. Smile engaged. Anticipation building within him like electricity coursing through a Tesla coil.

There is no escaping your own desire.

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Notes:

1. Written on 25th May, 2023

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Tales From The Town #121: Eclipse

The rules of the eclipse were you could only look at the sun when there was no more sun left to see. And even then you still had to wear glasses.

It wasn’t any fun at all.

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Notes:

1. Written on the 2nd of July, 2023

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #120: Ice Cream Competition

“Two scoops?!” Tina said, wide eyed with awe. “I’ve never had two scoops before.”

“Mine’s got two scoops too,” said Daniel. “In different flavours!

“Mine has two scoops and a flake!” said Ethel. “I don’t know what’s gotten into dad but I like it.”

“I think maybe he’s just sad,” said Tina. “He’s not been the same since the mermaid ran off with that walrus last year.”

There was a moment of silence as they contemplated their father, as he counted out his sand and seaweed covered coins at the ice cream counter.

“Yeah, well mine has THREE scoops!” Claire shouted, quickly getting back to what was important. “And I’ve got two of them!” She pulled her arm out from behind her back with a flourish a magician would have been proud of. “You’ll never beat that!”

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Notes:

1. Written on May 26th, 2023

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #119: A Scene From Any Summer

The tennis courts were empty. The gates were shut, locked, padlocked, chained, bolted, and, quite possibly, even welded. No one had set foot inside since 1985 and no one would set foot inside again until 2055 at the very earliest unless something catastrophic happened and even then it was unlikely to be catastrophic enough to change anything that drastically.

The nets fluttered in the wind, as close a thing to genuine ghosts as anything in material existence could ever hope to be.

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Notes:

1. Written on May 26th, 2023

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!