Tales From The Town #167: Football

“What are you watching?”

“Football.”

“What are you watching football for, Daniel?”

“I like it when they kick the ball really high up in the air. Sometimes they kick it so high it goes off the top the screen!”

“Pffft. Anyone can do that. I can do that. I once kicked a ball into a tree.”

“We know, Claire.”

“And another time I kicked a ball over the house.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Shut up, Ethel. I did.”

“When?”

“When you weren’t there, obviously.”

“How did you kick a ball over the house when our ball is still stuck in the tree you kicked it into?”

“I did it before that. Obviously.”

“I once kicked the ball right over the school.”

“Don’t lie, Daniel. No one could kick a football over a school.”

“Not even Claire.”

“Shut up, Ethel. I could easily kick a football over the school. I once kicked a football right off the beach and it hit the horizon!”

“You didn’t.”

“I did!”

“You did not!”

“I did!”

“You did not!”

(repeat until end of VAR check)

__________

Notes:

1. Written on May 25th, 2024
2. And a sequel to this.
3. And also this.

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


Tales From The Town #146: Snooker

“What are you watching?”

“Snooker.”

“What?”

“Snooker.”

“Snooker is not a word, Daniel.”

“It’s a game.”

“It’s not even a game, Daniel. They don’t show games on TV!”

“It’s a sport, Claire.”

“It’s definitely not a sport, Tina.”

“It is.”

“It isn’t! They’re not even wearing trainers. And they’re wearing trousers.”

“You’re not even wearing trainers or trousers!”

“Shut up, Ethel.”

“You shut up, Claire!”

“And anyway, if it IS a sport, why are they all so old?”

Claire!

“What now Daniel?”

“That’s so rude!”

“It is not rude. Just look at them. They look like ghosts in a haunted hotel!”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts, Claire.”

“I know that, Ethel! And I never said there was! So there!”

“You did!”

“I did not!”

“You did!”

“I did not!”

(repeat until end of frame)

__________

Notes:

1. Written on May 1st, 2024

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!


A Single Frame Of Snooker With All Of The Snooker Entirely Removed

__________

Notes:

1. Made on April 30th, 2021
2. Using footage from the bbc
3. obviously
4. Anyway years ago I had the idea for a shit art/photography exhibition where loads of sports would be reduced to slides of their various states of play
5. And envisaged how excited people would be to see 40 consecutive near identical photos of a snooker tabel, or a chess board, or a football pitch, or whatever
6. It would have been brilliant clearly
7. Everyone poring over the images to discern some deeper meaning
8. There is no deeper meaning
9. Anyway I never did that
10. Or anything else
11. But now I’ve turned it into an animation so it’s okay
12. I never need to think about it again
13. Bonus youtube version here

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!