“I don’t like ants,” Claire said, as she watched them carry the picnic away piece by piece. “I don’t like ants at all.”
It was, she thought, very important that everybody knew that.
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Notes:
1. Written on June 1st, 2022
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The Day The Queen Came Round For Tea
The queen came round to our house for tea once. She wasn’t invited, she just turned up. Apparently she has the right. She didn’t even take her shoes off in the porch, just shuffled right in without a care in the world. Mum was furious but she didn’t say a word. I think she was more upset because she knew that from now on whenever she told us to take our shoes off we’d just say, “But the queen never did,” and she was right, we did all say that, for years. Kids are awful, really. Kids are the worst.
There was some cake in the cupboard but the ants had got in there again so all Mum had for the queen was some of those pink wafer things you don’t seem to get anymore but you used to get back then. Not exactly a queenly gift, but well it was all we had. If she wanted better she should have phoned ahead really. Not that the queen seemed to notice. She didn’t even touch her tea, let alone the biscuits. Snooty bitch.
When dad got in from work we all told him about how the queen came round for tea but she was gone now and he’d missed her, and he was quite upset because apparently the queen doesn’t have the right after all and we’d all been taken for mugs. Mugs.
“And which of you little brats has been traipsing mud all through the hall…”
He was really quite irate. Stupid dad.
Anyway, the queen never came round for tea again, and dad got rid of the ants somehow. He wouldn’t tell us how. Then Mum ran off to Germany with a prince and that was the end of that.
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Notes:
1. Written on June 3rd, 2022
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