Tales From The Town #176: Pennies, Pounds

1. The Pound Machine

The pound machine at the arcade was definitely the best machine Daniel had ever met.

You put a pound in.

You got a pound out.

But expanded from one coin to fifty. Enough to fill an entire yoghurt pot and still have some left to put in every pocket you had.

It was like magic. It suggested a world of fractal expansion, where if you had enough machines you could increase your fortune forever until it was big enough to fill up more than just one yoghurt pot but maybe even as many as four yoghurt pots. And you couldn’t even hold four yoghurt pots. Not ever. Not unless you had four arms!

2. The Penny Machine

The penny machine at the supermarket was definitely the worst machine Daniel had ever met.

You put your pennies in.

And out came a pound.

Or worse, a five pound note. That wasn’t even a coin, let alone thousands of coins, all of them different in their own little ways.

It was like antimagic. The magnificent hugeness of the world reduced down to something small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. And even then you wouldn’t want it in the palm of your hand, because they insisted on being made of paper that was surprisingly horrible to hold. It was like they wanted you to throw it away. Blurgh.

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Notes:

1. Written on June 9th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #175: New Shoes

The new shoes were black and shiny and beautiful and clean. They made every step feel like a photograph.

Claire dreamt of puddles, and where to find them.

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Notes:

1. Written on June 8th, 2024

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Tales From The Town #174: Facts About… The First Of June

Panel 1: Facts About… The First Of June (all caps, with a drop shadow and a triple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words “with Claire!” written in a jaunty font that closely resembles comic sans but isn’t actually comic sans for licensing reasons)
Panel 2: Close up on Claire’s face – “June the 1st?”
Panel 3: Closer up on Claire’s face – “June the worst more like!”

Notes: If you would like to publish Facts About… With Claire! on your own website or in your school newspaper please contact Claire at claire@claire.claire

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Notes:

1. Written on June 1st, 2024

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Tales From The Town #173: May Daze

Last day of May. Picnic in the garden under a cloudless sky. Claire and Ethel cartwheel cross the grass. Tina and Daniel sitting together on the swing.

Agnes takes the picture without even thinking about. On her phone, it’s preserved in pristine condition for all eternity, and forgotten within the week. Printed out, put in a frame, the colours fade year by year. Yet the scene grows ever more vivid until eventually it fills her entire field of view.

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Notes:

1. Written May 2024

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Tales From The Town #172: Returns

“Mum! Mum! Dad’s back!”

“In his cave?”

“No! He lives above a chip shop now,” said Ethel.

“Which one?”

“All of them!” Daniel said excitedly.

“Well, isn’t that nice,” Agnes said. “Even if it doesn’t make much sense. At least hopefully this means you don’t think I killed him anymore.”

“We never thought that, Mum,” Tina said.

“It was Claire that thought that!” Ethel said.

“We didn’t believe her for a second,” Daniel said. “Not one! Or two! Or three! Or – ”

“Where is Claire, anyway?” Agnes asked.

“Oh she’s still shouting at Dad,” Tina said.

“Good for her,” Agnes said.

“She’s shouting so loud not even chips will calm her down,” Ethel said.

“Or ice cream,” TIna added.

“Or chips!” said Daniel.

“Or smoothies!”

“Or chips!”

“How many portions of chips can one girl eat?” Agnes wondered.

“A lot,” Tina said. “Especially when she’s angry.”

“She was going to demand a cheeseburger next,” Ethel said.

“Which was when we thought we should come home and tell you she’s already had her tea.”

“Well, at least someone’s enjoying herself,” Agnes said. “I hope she let you three have something to eat too?”

“We had ice creams,” said Tina.

“But only one,” said Ethel, possibly a little too quickly.

“And chips!” Daniel added, dreaming of chips.

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Notes:

1. Written on May 29th, 2024

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