Author: dng

Unwanted Conversation Generator

Please note usage of the Unwanted Conversation Generator is undertaken at the user’s own risk.

1. Opening Gambit (please select only one topic from this section)

a) Is it okay if I sit there?
b) Is anyone sitting there?
c) Is this seat taken?
d) Mind if i join you?

If the answer to your question is Yes, sit down and proceed to section 2. However, if the answer is No, sit down and proceed to section 2.

2. General Topic (beginners should choose only one from this section, though more experienced players may wish to select multiple possibilities in a combination of their choice)

a) What are you drinking?
b) What are you reading?
c) What are you listening to?
d) What are you typing?
e) What are you talking about?

3. Response Strategy (please select one strategy from each section, to be deployed in order)

3.1 (Initiation Phase)

a) Listen to answer
b) Don’t listen to answer
c) Interrupt answer
d) Yawn
e) Laugh

3.2 (Groundwork)

a) Actually…
b) Well, the thing is…
c) See, where you’re wrong…
d) Nah…

3.3 (Placement)

a) Just my opinion on things.
b) Not that I’d expect you to understand.
c) Course you can’t say that nowadays.
d) Only joking.

3.4 (Detonation)

a) Mate
b) Love

4. Closing Emotion (freeform round)

a) Laughter
b) Anger
c) Indignation
d) Abuse
e) Apologetic Ingratiation
f) Eye roll
g) Yawn
h) Hurt
i) Confusion
j) Ostentatious concentration on own phone
k) Other
l) All of the above

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Notes:

1. Written on November 15th, 2022

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If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!

Tales From The Town #96: Infinity Explained (part 2)

“If infinity is a number, Claire, why don’t you try counting to it?”

“Why don’t YOU try counting to it?

“Because I can’t.”

“No one can.”

“Well I can!”

“Go on then!”

“I will!”

“She won’t!”

“I will!”

“Well what are you waiting for, then?”

“I’m getting ready.”

“You’re so annoying Claire!”

“Not as annoying as you!”

“Yes you are, you’re the most annoying person in the whole galaxy.”

“Yeah, you’re the most annoying person in the entire universe, Claire!”

“Well you’re the most annoying person in infinity! Both of you are!”

“What about me?”

“You’re even more annoying than that, Daniel! You’re even more annoying than EVERYTHING!”

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Notes:

1. Written on December 31st, 2022

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!

At The Pub

They charge by the word now down at the pub. As the evening drags on a silence like no other descends. Not even the dogs dare bark.

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Notes:

1. Written on October 14th, 2022

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!

Tales From The Town #95: The Shop (A Trilogy)

1. The Shop

The shop sells whatever it can sell. You never know what you might find. Once it’s gone it’s gone, replaced by something new from the basement down below.

2. The Basement

The basement is full of all the things it can hold. They enter through the doors at the back, push forward towards the stairs at the front, all clamouring to be next on the shelves in the shop far above. It’s dark down there and they don’t like it at all. They dream of arc lights, window displays, glimpses of the sky, and so much more.

3. Beyond The Basement

No one knows what lies beyond those doors at the back of the basement beneath the store. Things come in through them, but when, but how, but from where.

Of course we do not care to know the answers to these questions we often ask. Whatever we found out would not please us, that much we know. Better to live in ignorance, better to invent some tale all our own.

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Notes:

1. Written on 20th October, 2022

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Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!

Beneath The Bed

Beneath the bed was a door. Beneath the door was a stairway. At the end of the stairway was a cavern wider than the world. In the cavern was a silver pool as deep and as old as time. And in the silver pool there was nothing but despair.

Beneath the bed was a door, and we did not dare to open it at all.

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Notes:

1. Written on the 28th August, 2022

__________

Support An Accumulation Of Things

If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon or my ko-fi.

Patreon subscribers get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.

(Ko-fi contributors probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more).

Thank you!