Tales From The Town #188: On the Existence Of Hedgehogs

“Do you think hedgehogs actually exist?” Claire asked. “Because I don’t think hedgehogs exist AT ALL!”

This question/declaration of Claire’s had nothing to do with anything anyone had said or that anyone was doing, but it seemed overwhelmingly important to Claire at that precise moment in time. She’d been thinking about this a lot.

“Of course they exist,” said Tina. “Why wouldn’t they exist?”

“Because I’ve never seen one.”

“You have,” Ethel said. “We all have.”

“I haven’t,” said Claire.

“Well I have,” said Ethel. “In the garden.”

“Prove it,” said Claire.

“You prove it,” said Ethel.

“That’s not how proof works,” said Claire.

“You’re not how proof works,” said Ethel.

“I saw two hedgehogs once,” said Daniel.

“You haven’t,” said Claire.

“They were getting married,” said Daniel.

“They weren’t!”

“They had FOUR babies!” said Daniel. “And a nephew.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” said Claire, kicking the pieces off the Monopoly board and storming out of the room before anyone remembered she hadn’t paid off any of her recently declared debts.

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Notes:

1. Written on 17th August, 2024

Radio Static

Radio Static is a small and ultimately pointless internet radio that plays nothing but various forms of static and occasionally some industrial noises that also kind of sound like static. Press play to play, stop to stop, and back and forward to wind through the selection of sounds in playlist order. Contains about 30 selections of static for your listening enjoyment.

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Notes:

1. I made this using TWINE, between September 6th and September 9th, 2024
2. The radio noises and other interference patterns are taken from the bbc sound effect archive
3. You can download the whole thing here if you want to.
4. Or listen to it online here.
5. It is entirely up to you.

Tales From The Town #187: Facts About… Going Back To School

Panel 1: Facts About… Going Back To School (all caps, with a drop shadow and a quadruple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words “with Claire!!!” written in a jaunty font that closely resembles comic sans because it is actually comic sans and also it’s in bright red)
Panel 2: Close up on Claire’s face – “Back to school?”
Panel 3: Closer up on Claire’s face – “Back to cruel more like!”

Notes: If you would like to publish Facts About… With Claire! in your secret diary or on your own noticeboard please contact Claire at claire@claire.claire

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Notes:

1. Written on August 17th, 2024

Tales From The Town #186: Dreams Of Animals

On the night of the 31st August, 2024, at exactly 1:23 am, the occupants of the house all simultaneously dreamt dreams that involved animals entering and/or occupying their home.

Agnes dreamt of autumnal dogs sleeping by the fire.
Ethel dreamt of cats and where in the house to find them.
Tina dreamt of a lightly freckled doe shivering in the hall.
Claire dreamt of otters misbehaving in the bathroom.
Anya dreamt birds were nesting in her bowl of all bran.
Oya dreamt of spiders weaving net curtains over all the open windows.
Daniel dreamt entire zoos into every room.
The dolls dreamt of ogres.
The house dreamt of all the ghosts it’d known.

What conclusions can we draw from this? None.

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Notes:

1. Written on August 13th, 2024

A Castle Built From Random Rooms

A Castle Built From Random Rooms is a text adventure built in twine in which you must escape from a castle built from random rooms. Playable and downloadable at itch.io, A Castle Built From Random Rooms is a magnificent masterpiece of the genre (kind of diverting, really). Contains several rooms, and also a few clever jokes.

You should play it you might like it.

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Notes:

1. This game was made during July and August 2024.
2. Using TWINE
3. It was inspired by/based on The Citadel Of Chaos by Steve Jackson
4. But then diverted away from that a bit because I was just making up any old rubbish that seemed to fit.
5. Anyway I know what I’m doing now so the sequel should be better, probably.