1. The Old Game
“Urgh, why do we have to play football again,” Claire said, as she stood near the goal (but not actually in the goal) with her hand up waiting for someone to pass her the ball so she could kick the ball into the goal as hard as she could. “I hate football.”
“Because the only ball we have left is the football,” Tina said, passing the football carefully away from Claire and over towards Ethel who wasn’t very near the goal at all and also didn’t have her hand up.
“Someone threw all the other balls down the well,” Ethel added, as she passed the ball nowhere near Claire even though she was quite near Claire and all the way over to Daniel instead who was miles away and not even looking.
“Including the football,” Claire said proudly. “So where did this one come from?”
“I found it in a bush,” Daniel said as he jumped over the ball and then ran round it in a circle for some reason before dribbling all the way back towards Claire and then he stopped and ran around it in a circle again then jumped over the ball once more just for good measure.
“What bush?” Claire asked, not looking at the ball any more but at Daniel who she was talking to.
“The football bush,” said Daniel. “Where the footballs live.”
“There’s no such bush,” Claire said.
“There is,” said Daniel, as he booted the ball past Claire while she was distracted and into the goal, and then out of the goal, because there wasn’t any nets up in the goal, so it went flying straight into the bush behind the goal (that Claire was near ((but not actually in)). “It’s that bush,” Daniel added, who then did a little dance.
“Urgh,” Claire said, her head dropping in despair as she trudged off to get the ball (out of the bush (behind the goal (that she wasn’t even in))). “I hate football so much.”
2. The New Game
“I’ve invented a new game,” Claire announced, when she came back with the ball, several minutes of grumbling later. “It’s much better than stupid old football. Right, Daniel, you go and stand over there.”
Daniel went and stood over there.
“And Tina and Ethel, you also go and stand over there,” Claire said.
Tina and Ethel also went and stood over there.
“And now I turn around and boot the ball over there,” Claire said.
Claire turned around and booted the ball all the way over there, as far away from everyone else as possible, and they all watched the ball as it bounced over the fence, and then ran down the hill, and then rolled into the road, and then a car hit the ball, and the ball went flying across to the other side of the road, and then a truck coming the other way hit the ball, and the ball flew back across to the first side of the road, and then a bus hit the ball, and this time the ball exploded.
That was the end of the game.
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Notes:
1. Written on September 29th, 2024
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