It was my turn as Prime Minister this week.
I was woken up by the whips and given the ceremonial hi-viz and hard hat
then driven straight to Downing Street to give a speech to the assorted Westminster hacks.
I said some nonsense about being here to serve all the people all the time
before adding “All the real people!” with a cheeky wink to the guy from GB News.
His thumbs up meant the world to me.
Once I got inside I turned the heating right up, left all the taps running
and ate every Viennetta in the freezer.
“Bill that to the taxpayer!” I chuckled to some weary civil servant
As I put the hard hat on his head, handed him the hi-viz jacket
and went next door to see who the chancellor was.
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Notes:
1. Written on 20th October, 2022
2. In some weak attempt to be Tim Key