Panel 1: Facts About… Conkers!!!!! (the words “with Daniel” are written below in all caps, while the “o” in conkers has been made to look like a conker. Below all that there’s a full portrait picture of Daniel swirling his long hair that is like a viking’s hair around)
Panel 2: Daniel is now also swirling a conker around on a piece of string – “Conkers?”
Panel 3: Daniel is now upside down and also in the middle of what looks like an explosion. Who knows where the conker has gone – “BONKERS!!!”
Please Note: The “Facts About” format is owned by Claire and if you would like to publish your own verified facts in comic strip form please send £1 in licensing fees to Claire at claire@claire.claire
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“What the hell is this, Daniel?” Claire shouted, holding Daniel’s comic strip in one hand and then furiously jabbing at it with the other.
“It’s… BONKERS!!!” said Daniel.
“Yeah, well, maybe, but it’s not about Halloween at all,” Claire said.
“I know,” said Daniel. “It’s about conkers.”
“You were supposed to be writing about Halloween, Daniel!” Claire said. “I told you to write about Halloween!”
“But I love conkers,” Daniel said. “Because they’re BONKERS!”
“Maybe they are,” Claire said. “But that still doesn’t explain why you’re upside down in that last panel. And in the middle of an explosion.”
“An explosion,” said Daniel, leaning over to point at his drawing to explain its intricacies. “And an implosion. The outer one is the explosion and the inner one is the implosion.”
“I see,” Claire said. “Well, whatever, Daniel, it’s your pound. Now pay up.”
She held out her hand to accept her licensing fee from Daniel, who reached into his pocket, withdrew a nice shining £1 coin that he’d spent all morning shining up just for this occasion, and then flicked it up into the air for her to catch, although Claire didn’t catch it, but dropped it, ineptly, and then they both watched as it hit the floor and rolled all the way between both of their legs, past the cat, and then into a cobweb in the corner at the back under the desk that had been there for as long as they could remember, even though none of them had ever seen a spider in their room, not ever.
“Why are you paying Claire, Daniel?” Tina asked, as she rolled her chair back so that Claire could reach into the cobweb to retrieve her payment.”Shouldn’t she be paying you?”
“Yeah, Claire didn’t do anything except complain,” Ethel said. She was sitting on the window ledge for some reason. “Why’s she the one getting paid?”
“Because I’m the editor,” said Claire, emerging from beneath the desk with some cobwebs in her hair and a pound coin in her hand and a spider crawling all over her jumper. “That’s the most important job of all.”
“And I’m an author now!” Daniel said excitedly, doing a backflip onto his bed to prove it. “I’m going to be so rich!”
PS: After this story finished everyone was killed by the spider because it was Halloween. THE END
PPS: Then the cat ate the spider.
PPPS: Also Ethel was a vampire in this story.
PPPPS: That’s why she was sitting on the windowledge.
PPPPPS: Daniel! Stop adding things to the end of this story! It’s confusing!
PPPPPPS: No it’s not. It’s unconfusing! Now everyone knows what happens after the story ended.
PPPPPPPS: But no one cares what happens after the story ended. I got my money, and that’s the entire point of the story!
PPPPPPPPS: Did you know, that that pound coin was haunted?!!!!!!!
PPPPPPPPPS: Stop ruining everything, Daniel. There’s no such thing as a haunted pound coin!
PPPPPPPPPPS: Also Tina is a werewolf!
PPPPPPPPPPPS: Daniel, I’m warning you, if you don’t shut up right now I’m never letting you write another comic strip ever again!
PPPPPPPPPPPPS: Mum is also a werewolf. From space!
PPPPPPPPPPPPPS: (The comic strip has now been thrown in the bin)
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPS (Doors have been slammed)
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS: (Daniel’s pound has not been returned)
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Notes:
1. Written on October 25th, 2024
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