It was easy to forget there was a castle on the hill above the town, and down the hill beside the town, and at the bottom of the hill beneath the town, beneath the hedges, beneath the bushes, beneath the tall grass, beneath the short grass, beneath the wildflowers, beneath the weeds, beneath the dust and the dirt beneath our feet.
But it was there. It was there.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on May 3rd, 2024
__________“What are you watching?”
“Snooker.”
“What?”
“Snooker.”
“Snooker is not a word, Daniel.”
“It’s a game.”
“It’s not even a game, Daniel. They don’t show games on TV!”
“It’s a sport, Claire.”
“It’s definitely not a sport, Tina.”
“It is.”
“It isn’t! They’re not even wearing trainers. And they’re wearing trousers.”
“You’re not even wearing trainers or trousers!”
“Shut up, Ethel.”
“You shut up, Claire!”
“And anyway, if it IS a sport, why are they all so old?”
“Claire!”
“What now Daniel?”
“That’s so rude!”
“It is not rude. Just look at them. They look like ghosts in a haunted hotel!”
“There’s no such thing as ghosts, Claire.”
“I know that, Ethel! And I never said there was! So there!”
“You did!”
“I did not!”
“You did!”
“I did not!”
(repeat until end of frame)
__________
Notes:
1. Written on May 1st, 2024
__________some days you could walk in here forever and never see the same thing twice
and on others
never see anything new
just the same trees
endlessly
forever
no matter how far you went
no matter how much you yearned
for something else
to appear
__________
Notes:
1. Written on March 6th, 2024
__________“How was your father?” Agnes asked the children when they’d got back from the beach.
“We don’t know,” said Tina.
“He wasn’t there,” said Ethel.
“He was gone!” said Daniel.
“What do you mean, gone?”
“We mean he was gone,” said Daniel.
“He wasn’t there,” said Ethel.
“Well where was he then?”
“We don’t know,” said Tina. “Maybe he swam off after the mermaid.”
“Maybe the crabs ate him,” said Ethel.
“Maybe he went to the moon!” said Daniel, italicising things excitedly. “To live with Nanny!”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s very likely,” Agnes said. “Maybe he just went for a walk.”
“But all his stuff’s gone too,” said Tina.
“Even that robot he was building out of that dead doll and one of the lodger’s old phones,” said Ethel. “It was like he hadn’t been there in months.”
“It was like he’d never been there AT ALL!” said Daniel, boldly. “Even the cave was gone!”
“The cave wasn’t gone at all, Daniel,” Ethel said.
“But imagine if it was!” he replied. “The cave and the crabs and the beach and the sea and the sky and the moon and the night and the day! That’d explain everything then.”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere,” Agnes said. “There’s no need to worry just yet.”
“We’re not worried, Mum,” said Tina.
“We’re not worried at all,” said Ethel.
“Maybe he’s gone to live in an abyss,” said Daniel, who liked the word abyss quite a lot. “Maybe he’s gone to live in an abyss on the moon!”
The three of them ran off to play on the swing, and Agnes was left alone with Claire. Claire hadn’t said a word since they’d come back from the beach. She was simply sitting there at the kitchen table, petting the cat with one hand and brushing her hair with the other with such concentrated intensity the whole house crackled with static and barely suppressed fury.
__________
Notes:
1. Written January 8th, 2024
__________Unexpected sunshine after several months of rain. Bird song and insect buzz. Ice cream van jingle burrowing deep within your brain. If you look closely you can see the grass growing beneath your feet almost in real time.
New month, new life. The perfect time to reappear.
__________
Notes:
1. Written on May 1st, 2024
2. Apologies, also, for prolonged absences.