{"id":923,"date":"2018-10-11T13:25:51","date_gmt":"2018-10-11T13:25:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=923"},"modified":"2018-10-11T13:22:46","modified_gmt":"2018-10-11T13:22:46","slug":"the-elixir-of-the-gods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2018\/10\/11\/the-elixir-of-the-gods\/","title":{"rendered":"The Elixir Of The Gods"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Elrond told Sam to get in the barrel.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But its full of piss, Sir Elrond.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;IT IS THE ELIXIR OF THE GODS.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sam looked terrified by the shouting elf, and apprehensively climbed into the barrel. The elixir of the gods soaked through Sam&#8217;s rubbish hobbit clothes. It was horribly warm. Suddenly Gandalf popped up from behind the barrel, and dunked Sam&#8217;s head under. Gandalf and Elrond started to laugh.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hobbits really are amazing creatures,&#8221; chuckled Gandalf. &#8220;You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years you can dunk them in a barrel of piss and you will laugh and luagh and laugh.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sam started to cry. &#8220;Oh, Sam&#8221; Frodo said indulgently, laughing. Boromir looked on from the doorway, scowling. Gimli started to sing about gold.<\/p>\n<p>___________<\/p>\n<p>Notes:<\/p>\n<p>1. <em>Written on February 9th, 2009<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br><h3><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3><i>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">patreon<\/a> or my <a href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/davidnguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(<a href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/davidnguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Elrond told Sam to get in the barrel. &#8220;But its full of piss, Sir Elrond.&#8221; &#8220;IT IS THE ELIXIR OF THE GODS.&#8221; Sam looked terrified by the shouting elf, and apprehensively climbed into the barrel. The elixir of the gods soaked through Sam&#8217;s rubbish hobbit clothes. It was horribly warm. Suddenly Gandalf popped up from [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[119,83,320,13,225],"class_list":["post-923","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ephemera","tag-ephemera","tag-horror","tag-lord-of-the-rings","tag-piss","tag-pointlessness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/923","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=923"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/923\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1144,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/923\/revisions\/1144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=923"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=923"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=923"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}