{"id":6068,"date":"2025-12-31T21:07:48","date_gmt":"2025-12-31T21:07:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=6068"},"modified":"2025-12-31T21:07:48","modified_gmt":"2025-12-31T21:07:48","slug":"excerpts-from-my-diary-february-2025","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2025\/12\/31\/excerpts-from-my-diary-february-2025\/","title":{"rendered":"Excerpts from my diary (February 2025)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saturday 1st February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cold, tired
\nshivering
\nunproductively
\nat my desk<\/p>\n

Sunday 2nd February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Outside
\na lingering cold
\nslowly dissipated
\nas the day wore on<\/p>\n

Monday 3rd February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

All my plans come pre-abandoned<\/p>\n

Tuesday 4th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the co-op the man stacking shelves spoke to me as if he knew me and I knew him.
\nBut I didn’t know him
\nas far as I could tell<\/p>\n

This threw me for the rest of the day
\nis still throwing me
\nnow<\/p>\n

Wednesday 5th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

The wing fell off the dragon my nephew made for me
\n6 or 7 years ago<\/p>\n

I wonder if he remembers it
\nif he knows that it still sits here on my desk
\nglaring at me
\nwhenever I look up from the page
\nand glance in its direction<\/p>\n

Thursday 6th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

I feel anxious
\nalways
\nIt’s tiring
\nalways<\/p>\n

Friday 7th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the wet
\nand the rain
\nthe cold seeps on
\nthrough your shoes<\/p>\n

Saturday 8th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Squirrels
\nin the rain
\nseem even more energetic
\nthan usual<\/p>\n

Sunday 9th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Still raining
\nwhich is nice
\nI suppose<\/p>\n

At least today I didn’t have to go out in it
\ndidn’t really have to acknowledge it at all<\/p>\n

Monday 10th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

There’s so little I’m good at
\nit should be upsetting<\/p>\n

But with age comes acceptance
\nof your own unending incompetence<\/p>\n

(if not that of others)<\/p>\n

Tuesday 11th February, 2025<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

Tiny cuts on my fingertips
\nwhere the fingernails touch the sides<\/p>\n

You don’t notice it really
\nuntil you start to write<\/p>\n

Then it hurts like hell<\/p>\n

Wednesday 12th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Forget to write anything last night
\nso I’m writing this on Thursday morning<\/p>\n

I still don’t have anything to say<\/p>\n

Thursday 13th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

I thought maybe by keeping this diary something interesting would come out of it, some sort of insight arising from contemplating each day as a whole to find some tiny facet of it worthy of note that otherwise I’d have missed.<\/p>\n

But I’m not sure that’s happened so far. The days still drift away without note
\nmeaning lost or never acquired<\/p>\n

I exist
\nbut without reason
\nwithout interaction
\nwith the wider world<\/p>\n

Friday 14th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Preparations made
\nfor coming guests
\nThe only time all year
\nI tidy my desk<\/p>\n

Saturday 15th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

They have arrived.
\nLoudness
\nmess
\nand bursts of joy<\/p>\n

Sunday 16th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bought strawberries in winter
\n(shouldn’t have bothered)<\/p>\n

Monday 17th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Urgh
\nNits<\/p>\n

Even if I haven’t caught them off the children
\nMy heads still going to itch
\nas if I have<\/p>\n

Tuesday 18th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

The world is a terrible place
\nand all the people in it
\nseem intent on making sure of it<\/p>\n

(We all have nits now, too, just to make it worse)<\/p>\n

Thursday 20th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Everybody’s gone
\nand the house is dead
\nand quiet
\nand slightly empty
\nand sadder than it was
\nbefore<\/p>\n

Friday 21st February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

We’ve moved my bed into the other room
\nand it doesn’t feel right
\nsleeping somewhere else<\/p>\n

Saturday 22nd February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Driving seems designed to be as unenjoyable as can be<\/p>\n

Broken roads, broken drivers
\nand nowhere anywhere to park<\/p>\n

Sunday 23rd February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Felt weirdly sick
\nfrom about 3 o’clock
\nall the way to midnight<\/p>\n

Monday 24th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yesterday I felt awful
\nand today I felt
\nokay<\/p>\n

Tuesday 25th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

All I can hear at night
\nis the sound of machinery
\ngrinding on
\nin the distance<\/p>\n

Wednesday 26th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

All the footage of rotting animals in A Zed And Two Noughts made me feel oddly queasy. Perhaps because it reminded me of when we found a dead hedgehog by the side of the road, when we were children, and as I looked at the maggots writhing away inside it, I felt as if they were writhing in me.<\/p>\n

Thursday 27th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

A thousand crows
\nunscared
\nin a field<\/p>\n

Friday 28th February, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

A film halfwatched
\nis a terrible thing<\/p>\n

More unsatisfying even
\nthan watching it all<\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written in February 2025<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saturday 1st February, 2025 Cold, tired shivering unproductively at my desk Sunday 2nd February, 2025 Outside a lingering cold slowly dissipated as the day wore on Monday 3rd February, 2025 All my plans come pre-abandoned Tuesday 4th February, 2025 In the co-op the man stacking shelves spoke to me as if he knew me and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[1637,212],"class_list":["post-6068","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ephemera","tag-1637","tag-diaries"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6068","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6068"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6068\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6069,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6068\/revisions\/6069"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6068"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6068"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6068"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}