{"id":6063,"date":"2025-12-29T20:53:48","date_gmt":"2025-12-29T20:53:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=6063"},"modified":"2025-12-29T20:54:17","modified_gmt":"2025-12-29T20:54:17","slug":"excerpts-from-my-diary-january-2025","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2025\/12\/29\/excerpts-from-my-diary-january-2025\/","title":{"rendered":"Excerpts from my diary (January 2025)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wednesday January 8th, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was so cold the back of my head throbbed and ached for almost an hour after I got home. I wanted to cry (but I did not cry).<\/p>\n

Thursday January 9th, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

I bought this diary yesterday and already it scares me a little, every page so huge and empty as I sit here before bed at my ever lonely desk.<\/p>\n

Friday 10th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

-8\u00b0 this morning. Fields white with frost all the way to Colchester. Paving slabs glittering like diamonds. Breath crystallising the air.<\/p>\n

The near full moon rose slowly over the church before the film, shone brightly in a sea of stars after.<\/p>\n

Saturday 11th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

A fox runs across the street, over the green, only finally evading the glare of my headlights by hiding under a car.<\/p>\n

I feel guilty for the terror I’ve caused it.
\nI feel happy simply to have seen it.<\/p>\n

Sunday 12th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sunday has to be squeezed in tight
\nso small here on the page
\nso unimportant
\nto the world of work
\nNo need to make any note of events
\nthat have transpired
\noutside of office hours<\/p>\n

Monday 13th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

A heron flying overhead
\na mile from the river
\nand getting further away
\nwith every flap of its prehistoric wings<\/p>\n

Tuesday 14th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn’t feel very well today
\nbut didn’t feel bad enough
\nto complain<\/p>\n

Wednesday 15th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

NOTE:<\/strong> What tense to use when writing diary entries a day or two late?<\/em><\/p>\n

I hurt my back at about 7pm. Sat down and watched the football without moving in the hope it’d fix itself.<\/p>\n

It didn’t.<\/p>\n

So I went to bed and stared at the ceiling in the dark, pain and worry preventing any hope of sleep.<\/p>\n

In the morning it was mostly okay. Well enough to sit down and write this entry out, at least.<\/p>\n

Thursday 16th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Flicked between the snooker and the tennis all afternoon, which meant I ended up feeling like I’d watched neither rather than both.<\/p>\n

Had tickets to the cinema but did not go, With bad backs the terror of recurrence lingers on longer than any physical discomfort.<\/p>\n

Friday 17th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

The page is too near to see with my glasses on, too far away to properly write on with them off.<\/p>\n

Which is not so bad at my desk, where I can lean in until I’m an inch away. But outside, when I try to write in my notebook, while sitting on a bench, or in the car, or at the pub, all I can do is hope my approximation of letters are legible enough for when I go back to them later and try to find something worthwhile there in whatever I wrote.<\/p>\n

Saturday 18th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Shivered all afternoon. It wasn’t even that cold.<\/p>\n

Sunday 19th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tonight I know I’ll be unable to sleep
\nBecause tomorrow I have to get up early<\/p>\n

Monday 20th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Went to Cornwall<\/p>\n

Tuesday 21st January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today I got attacked by seagulls. Lost an entire doughnut to the horde.<\/p>\n

Wednesday 22nd January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

The sea’s so huge
\n(and I’m so small)<\/p>\n

Thursday 23rd January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

The wind
\nthe wind
\nAt times today I genuinely thought
\nwe might all be blown away
\ninto the night
\ninto the sea<\/p>\n

Friday 24th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Waves
\n hitting rocks
\n hitting waves
\n hitting rocks
\n forever<\/p>\n

Monday 27th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Long car journeys always instill in me
\nthe deepest melancholy<\/p>\n

Or perhaps its not the journey
\nbut coming home<\/p>\n

Wednesday 29th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

I still haven’t found my voice here.
\nWho am I writing for
\nor to
\nWho is going to read this
\nand when
\nWhat purpose is there to it
\nand why
\n(although I suppose that last questions applies to everything)<\/p>\n

Thursday 30th January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

Charles Bukowski here
\nwriting a poem about terrible computer software
\nin 1986<\/p>\n

The world is on repeat
\nanguished howls
\nof unending
\nfrustration<\/p>\n

Friday 31st January, 2025<\/strong><\/p>\n

The weeks go by
\nthe month’s gone by
\nand nothing changes<\/p>\n

Yet still I hope that out of the repetition
\nand the emptiness
\nsome meaning might emerge<\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written in January 2025<\/em>
\n2. Unsurprisingly<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wednesday January 8th, 2025 It was so cold the back of my head throbbed and ached for almost an hour after I got home. I wanted to cry (but I did not cry). Thursday January 9th, 2025 I bought this diary yesterday and already it scares me a little, every page so huge and empty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[1637,1376,212,1638,1639,191,512],"class_list":["post-6063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ephemera","tag-1637","tag-complaints","tag-diaries","tag-excerpts","tag-january","tag-poems","tag-truths"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6063"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6067,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6063\/revisions\/6067"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}