{"id":5771,"date":"2024-10-26T08:59:25","date_gmt":"2024-10-26T08:59:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=5771"},"modified":"2025-10-17T20:12:06","modified_gmt":"2025-10-17T20:12:06","slug":"tales-from-the-town-194-facts-about-halloween","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2024\/10\/26\/tales-from-the-town-194-facts-about-halloween\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales From The Town #194: Facts About… Halloween!!!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Panel 1:<\/strong> Facts About\u2026 Halloween!!!!! (all caps, with spooky shadows and a quintuple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words \u201cwith Claire!!!\u201d written in a blood red and slightly haunted font that continually drips blood. Also Claire’s face is orange for some reason<\/em>)
\nPanel 2:<\/strong> Close up on Claire\u2019s orange face<\/em> \u2013 \u201cHalloween?\u201d
\nPanel 3:<\/strong> Closer up on Claire\u2019s orange face<\/em> \u2013 \u201cHollow<\/em>een more like!\u201d<\/p>\n

Please Note:<\/strong> If you would like to carve Facts About\u2026 With Claire!<\/strong> into a pumpkin please contact Claire at claire@claire.claire<\/em> for the necessary and specific permissions that only Claire can grant.<\/p>\n

*****<\/center><\/p>\n

“I don’t get it,” said Daniel.<\/p>\n

“Because you’re stupid,” Claire said. “Everyone else gets it.”<\/p>\n

“I don’t get it either,” said Ethel.<\/p>\n

“Yeah, I’m not sure I really do, either, Claire,” Tina said.<\/p>\n

“Urgh,” said Claire. “It’s a pun<\/em>. I can’t believe I’m having to explain this to everyone.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, but a pun about what?” Tina asked. <\/p>\n

“About halloween!” Claire shouted. “Hollow<\/em> sounds a bit like hallow<\/em>, right?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, but… what does hollowness have to do with halloween?” Tina asked.<\/p>\n

“Hollow like a pumpkin!” Claire said. “I even coloured my face in orange so it was obvious.”<\/p>\n

“We just thought that was how your face always looks,” Ethel said. “Due to Wotsits!”<\/p>\n

“Shut up, Ethel!” Claire said. “Anyway, I’d like to see any of you come up with a better joke that is also a fact that fits the theme of the comic strip for this week, once a week, every week, for ever! It’s not easy at all. It takes me absolutely ages<\/em> to even come up with one of these.”<\/p>\n

“Claire’s comic strip?” Ethel said. “Claire’s moronic<\/em> strip more like!”<\/p>\n

“That’s not a fact,” Claire said. “It’s an opinion<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“Ghosts?” Tina ventured. “NO<\/strong>-sts more like!” She looked up at Claire’s intense unblinking stare for a few moments, before feeling that maybe she needed to offer up an explanation for the joke just in case. “Because, you know, there’s no such thing as ghosts.”<\/p>\n

“Obviously,” said Claire. “But I can’t just be printing everyday facts in the comic strip. They need to be funny<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“Mine was<\/em> funny,” Tina said.<\/p>\n

“No it wasn’t,” Claire said. “It was clever<\/em>. No one wants to read comic strips that are clever. No one<\/strong>.”<\/p>\n

“Anna does,” Ethel said.<\/p>\n

“Exactly,” said Claire. “And Anna’s an idiot.”<\/p>\n

“And Dad does,” Tina said.<\/p>\n

“Dad’s comic strips are stupid,” said Claire. “And boring. No one even knows what they’re about<\/em>.” She stared at her two sisters with a look of triumph on her face. “So anyway, I think this has all proved that I’m the best at writing comics and everyone else is the worst. I WIN!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“You can’t win at comic strips,” Tina said. “That’s not how comic strips work.”<\/p>\n

“You<\/em> can’t win at comic strips,” Claire said. “Whereas I<\/em> definitely ca-”<\/p>\n

“Oh, I get it now,” Daniel suddenly said.<\/p>\n

“What?” Claire said. <\/p>\n

“”Pumpkins? Plump<\/em>kins more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut up, Daniel,” Claire said. “I’ve already won.”<\/p>\n

“Treat or treat! Trick or eat<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Daniel!<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“October? Shock<\/em>tober more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut up!<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Werewolves? Scare<\/em>wolves more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut u-<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Ghostly slime? Mostly lime<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut-<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Hula hoops? Cthulhu<\/em> hoops more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shu-<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Bonfire night? Bonfire fright<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Sh-<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Vampires? Ham<\/em>pires more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“S-<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Frankenstein’s monster? Frankenstein’s imposter<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Sh-<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“Ghouls? Fools<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shu-<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“Spooktacular? Shoot Dracula<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut-<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“Skeletons? Smelly<\/em>tons more like!!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut u-<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“Superheroes? Superweirdos<\/em> more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut up-<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“Eyeballs? Cry<\/em>balls more like!” Daniel said.<\/p>\n

“Shut up!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

“Cats? Bats<\/em> more like!” Daniel said, before quickly adding, “Bats? Cats<\/em> more like!”<\/p>\n

“SHUT UP!<\/strong>” Claire said. “Daniel, you’re ruining everything<\/em>. You need to stop.”<\/p>\n

“But I’ve only just started,” said Daniel. “Fireworks? Dire<\/em>works more like! Clowns? Frowns<\/em> more like! Mannequins? Mannelimbs<\/em> more like! A haunted house? A haunted mouse<\/em> more like! Ravens? Rave-offs<\/em> more like! Spider webs? Cider legs<\/em> more like! Slugs? Mugs<\/em> more like! Zombies? Wrong<\/em>bies more like! Autumn? Bore<\/em>tumn more like! Headless horsemen? Headless n<\/em>orsemen more like! Half term? Scarf<\/em> term more like! Hedgehogs? Hedgedogs<\/em> more like! Halloween? Halloscream<\/em> more like!”<\/p>\n

Claire sat down and moaned out loud.<\/p>\n

“Why is he so good at this? It’s so unfair<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

___________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written between September 30th and October 7th, 2024<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Panel 1: Facts About\u2026 Halloween!!!!! (all caps, with spooky shadows and a quintuple exclamation mark at the end, above a small close up of Claire and the words \u201cwith Claire!!!\u201d written in a blood red and slightly haunted font that continually drips blood. Also Claire’s face is orange for some reason) Panel 2: Close up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1208],"tags":[1570,1583,356,408,480,1568],"class_list":["post-5771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales-from-the-town","tag-claire","tag-facts-about","tag-halloween","tag-pumpkins","tag-puns","tag-tales-form-the-town"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5771"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6020,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5771\/revisions\/6020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}