{"id":5145,"date":"2023-04-22T08:36:15","date_gmt":"2023-04-22T08:36:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=5145"},"modified":"2023-04-21T23:03:18","modified_gmt":"2023-04-21T23:03:18","slug":"tales-from-the-town-106","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2023\/04\/22\/tales-from-the-town-106\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales From The Town #106: Radio Broadcasts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

First Broadcast<\/strong><\/p>\n

“…ust press that, and then speak into that<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“I’ve already pressed that.”<\/p>\n

“Claire!”<\/p>\n

“What?”<\/p>\n

“That means we’re already broadcasting. People can hear us right now! <\/p>\n

“You know you’re not supposed to press the buttons, Claire! Only me and Ethel can press the buttons.”<\/p>\n

“What? Why?”<\/p>\n

“Because we’re the engineers<\/em>!”<\/p>\n

“I thought you were a poet?”<\/p>\n

“How many times do I have to tell you, Claire. I am not a poet. I just write po-”<\/p>\n

“So, anyway, what happens if I press this butt-”<\/p>\n

(static\/silence)<\/em><\/p>\n

Second Broadcast<\/strong><\/p>\n

(strange ululations)<\/em><\/p>\n

“What are you doing in here, Daniel? Your sisters said I wasn’t supposed to let anyone in here until they’ve finished writing their stories.”<\/p>\n

“Singing.”<\/p>\n

(ululations continue)<\/em><\/p>\n

Last Broadcast<\/strong><\/p>\n

“…and then the spaceship EXPLODED! Everyone was killed horribly and no one survived at all. It was brilliant!”<\/p>\n

“Claire! Press the button! Quick!” <\/p>\n

“Yeah, Claire! You can’t say that on the radio!”<\/p>\n

“Why not? I just did.”<\/p>\n

“People might think it’s true.”<\/p>\n

“Only people who are idiots. Anyway, you’re just jealous my story was better than your stories.”<\/p>\n

“It was not!”<\/p>\n

“In your story no one exploded at all.”<\/p>\n

“Someone im<\/em>ploded in mine. That’s just as good.”<\/p>\n

“No it’s not.”<\/p>\n

“It is!”<\/p>\n

“Imploding doesn’t even count. Especially not when they only imploded because they were sad!<\/em> As if that would happen!”<\/p>\n

“It’s a metaphor, Claire.”<\/p>\n

“That’s even worse, Tina! Metaphorical implosions are the worst explosions ever and I hate them!”<\/p>\n

“Wait, are we still broadcasting?”<\/p>\n

“I don’t know. You’re the ones who said you knew how to use Dad’s stupid old junk!”<\/p>\n

“We are still broadcasting!”<\/p>\n

“Claire! You were supposed to press the button!” <\/p>\n

“We told you to press the button!”<\/p>\n

“No, you told me to never press the buttons ever again.”<\/p>\n

“You’re allowed to press it when we tell you to press it!”<\/p>\n

“That doesn’t make any sense at all and you both know it.”<\/p>\n

“Just press the button Claire!”<\/p>\n

“No!”<\/p>\n

“Yes!”<\/p>\n

“No!”<\/p>\n

“Well, I’ll press it then!”<\/p>\n

“NO! No!”<\/p>\n

“Urgh, Claire. We’re telling Mum! You’re ruining everything!”<\/p>\n

“I don’t care! So anyway, what happens if I touch that button there?”<\/p>\n

“What button where?”<\/p>\n

“That one up there. The one that says do not touch.”<\/p>\n

“Oh right, yeah, don’t touch that one, Claire.”<\/p>\n

“Don’t EVER touch that one, Claire.”<\/p>\n

“Why not?”<\/p>\n

“Because it… Claire!? NO!”<\/p>\n

(everything explodes. there are no survivors)<\/em><\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written on March 20th, 2023<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First Broadcast “…ust press that, and then speak into that.” “I’ve already pressed that.” “Claire!” “What?” “That means we’re already broadcasting. People can hear us right now! “You know you’re not supposed to press the buttons, Claire! Only me and Ethel can press the buttons.” “What? Why?” “Because we’re the engineers!” “I thought you were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1208],"tags":[1457,1458,1209],"class_list":["post-5145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales-from-the-town","tag-end-of-radio","tag-radio","tag-tales-from-the-town"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5145"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5199,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5145\/revisions\/5199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}