{"id":5059,"date":"2023-01-14T01:18:29","date_gmt":"2023-01-14T01:18:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=5059"},"modified":"2023-01-14T01:34:33","modified_gmt":"2023-01-14T01:34:33","slug":"tales-from-the-town-92-tasting-menu-courses-1-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2023\/01\/14\/tales-from-the-town-92-tasting-menu-courses-1-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales From The Town #92: Tasting Menu (Courses 1-4)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tastingmenu001s.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tastingmenu001s.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"436\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-5086\" srcset=\"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tastingmenu001s.jpg 300w, https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/tastingmenu001s-206x300.jpg 206w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>1.<\/strong> <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s that?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It looks like some slugs.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;<em>Dead<\/em> slugs.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s liquorice. It&#8217;s nice.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Urgh! It&#8217;s not nice, Nanny!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s not nice at all.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It tastes like slugs.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;<em>Live<\/em> slugs.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>2.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;This stuff tastes like flowers!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And perfume.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And shampoo.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And <em>eyeballs<\/em>.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Eyeballs?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;<strong>Eyeballs.<\/strong>&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t think it tastes like eyeballs at all.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t even know what eyeballs taste like.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well then how do you know it doesn&#8217;t taste like eyeballs, Nanny?\u201d<br \/>\n&#8220;How do you know it <em>does<\/em> taste like eyeballs?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;<em>Everyone<\/em> knows what eyeballs tastes like.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I was a crow once. That&#8217;s how I know what eyeballs taste like.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You were never a crow, Daniel.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I was! I flew into a cloud and thunder came out.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Daniel was never a crow, Nanny.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;He&#8217;s making it up to impress you.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well, I certainly am impressed, Daniel. So, who wants another piece of Turkish Delight?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Definitely NO!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;He doesn&#8217;t, Nanny.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I do.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You don&#8217;t, Daniel.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You definitely don&#8217;t.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;That&#8217;s how they get you, Daniel.\u201d<br \/>\n&#8220;You&#8217;ll never escape!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><strong>3.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What is this?!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It tastes like ice cream!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;But it looks like lemonade!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s cream soda.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Cream <em>spider<\/em> more like.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;That doesn&#8217;t make any sense!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;<em>You<\/em> don&#8217;t make any sense!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I do!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You don&#8217;t!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>(repeat to fade)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>4.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You never ate these, Nanny.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;We can&#8217;t believe anyone EVER ate these.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;They&#8217;re not even food.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;They&#8217;re <em>weetabix<\/em>, Nanny!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;With butter on them!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And no milk!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I&#8217;m not finished yet. Look, next you sprinkle sugar on the butter like this&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Nanny, this is <em>disgusting<\/em>!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;If Mum finds out you&#8217;re feeding us this she&#8217;s going to send you back to the moon!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Well, actually, this used to be your mother&#8217;s favourite, back when she was your age.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;It wasn\u2019t?!&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201cIt was.\u201d<br \/>\n&#8220;Not <em>Mum?!<\/em>\u201d<br \/>\n&#8220;She would NEVER.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Mum only eats spaghetti bolognese.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And cheese on toast.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And christmas cake and wine.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;But not this.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Never this.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Dad was sent to the caves for less than this.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;The lodger went to prison for less than this.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cThe <em>witch<\/em> was banished to <em>hell<\/em> for less than this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>___________<\/p>\n<p>Notes:<\/p>\n<p>1. <em>Written on 27th May, 2022<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br><h3><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3><i>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">patreon<\/a> or my <a href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/davidnguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/davidguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(<a href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/davidnguy\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. &#8220;What&#8217;s that?&#8221; &#8220;It looks like some slugs.&#8221; &#8220;Dead slugs.&#8221; &#8220;It&#8217;s liquorice. It&#8217;s nice.&#8221; &#8220;Urgh! It&#8217;s not nice, Nanny!&#8221; &#8220;It&#8217;s not nice at all.&#8221; &#8220;It tastes like slugs.&#8221; &#8220;Live slugs.&#8221; 2. &#8220;This stuff tastes like flowers!&#8221; &#8220;And perfume.&#8221; &#8220;And shampoo.&#8221; &#8220;And eyeballs.&#8221; &#8220;Eyeballs?&#8221; &#8220;Eyeballs.&#8221; &#8220;I don&#8217;t think it tastes like eyeballs at all.&#8221; &#8220;I don&#8217;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1208],"tags":[217,1441,1433,1442,1440,1209,1013],"class_list":["post-5059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales-from-the-town","tag-christmas","tag-cream-soda","tag-food","tag-liquorice","tag-sweets","tag-tales-from-the-town","tag-turkish-delight"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5059"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5059\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5109,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5059\/revisions\/5109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}