{"id":4782,"date":"2022-07-30T08:01:53","date_gmt":"2022-07-30T08:01:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=4782"},"modified":"2022-07-28T12:15:29","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T12:15:29","slug":"tales-from-the-town-68-surveillance-tapes-1-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2022\/07\/30\/tales-from-the-town-68-surveillance-tapes-1-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales From The Town #68: Surveillance Tapes (1-4)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

1. Kitchen (breakfast time)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ethel:<\/strong> Someone’s eaten my yoghurt!
\nTina:<\/strong> Someone’s drunk my milkshake!
\nDaniel:<\/strong> A milkshake is a yoghurt in a bottle.
\nEthel:<\/strong> Mum! Someone’s been eating our food?
\nAgnes (from the garden):<\/strong> Was it Claire?
\nClaire:<\/strong> NO!
\n(pause)<\/em>
\nDaniel:<\/strong> A yoghurt is a milkshake in a pot.<\/p>\n

2. The Hall (lunchtime)<\/strong><\/p>\n

(phone ringing)<\/em><\/p>\n

Agnes:<\/strong> …Yes? Hello?….Oh, hi Mum. How are you?… Well, if you want me to answer faster why don’t you ring my mobile instead of this old thing in the hall? I was upstairs… We have a lot of stairs, remember? Actually I think we’ve got even more now since the last tme you stayed… Yes I know how far away you live, Mum… and I know how much it costs!…. I wasn’t complaining at all…No, everything’s fine here, Mum. I don’t know what the children have been telling you but really he’s just this totally unremarkable man. I barely even know he’s here. I see that boy in the mirror more often than I see him… He is not a ghost, Mum. We’ve been over this before… He’s just a delayed reflection… Well, you believe what you want and I’ll believe the truth, okay?… Fine… Yes, okay, I’ll tell the children you called…. No I won’t tell the children WHY you called…. Goodbye….Bye…. Yes, bye Mum….You’re always welcome here, Mum, you know that…. Of course I mean it!… Okay, bye…. Speak to you soon….Bye… [click]<\/em>…Urgh…<\/p>\n

3. By the swing (after school)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Claire:<\/strong> I’m the oldest. I should go first.
\nEthel: <\/strong>You’re not the oldest.
\nClaire:<\/strong> Well I’m the biggest. And the loudest.
\nTina:<\/strong> That’s not the same thing.
\nEthel:<\/strong> At all.
\nClaire:<\/strong> It is.
\nEthel:<\/strong> It isn’t.
\nClaire:<\/strong> It should be.
\nEthel:<\/strong> It still isn’t.
\nClaire:<\/strong> Well someone has to be the oldest and it might as well be me.
\nTina:<\/strong> None of us are the oldest.
\nDaniel:<\/strong> We’re twins.
\nClaire:<\/strong> But there’s four of us.
\nDaniel:<\/strong> Twin<\/em> twins.
\nEthel:<\/strong> We’re all the same age.
\nClaire:<\/strong> That’s stupid. One of us must have come out first. And I bet it was me!
\nTina:<\/strong> None of us came out first.
\nEthel:<\/strong> We all came out together.
\nClaire:<\/strong> How could that work? We wouldn’t fit! It’s not like they sliced Mum open and pulled us out all at once.
\nTina: <\/strong>I think that actually is what happened.
\nEthel:<\/strong> That’s why Mum’s got that big scar.
\nClaire:<\/strong> That’s disgusting!<\/strong> (pause)<\/em> How awful<\/em>. Poor Mum. (pause)<\/em> I’m still the oldest I just know it.<\/p>\n

4. Dining Room (dinner time)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Agnes:<\/strong> Now I spoke to Christopher and he said it might have been him who ate all your yoghurts and drank all your milkshakes.
\nClaire:<\/strong> See?! I knew it! I hate him!
\nAgnes:<\/strong> Might<\/em> have been him, Claire. And if it was he apologises.
\nClaire:<\/strong> He hasn’t apologised to me!
\nAgnes:<\/strong> Claire!<\/em> He didn’t even eat anything of yours so I’m not sure why you’re so angry about it all..
\nClaire:<\/strong> Only because he forgot to look in the freezer.
\nTina:<\/strong> What?
\nEthel:<\/strong> What are you putting things in the freezer for?
\nClaire:<\/strong> I’m allowed to put things in the freezer if I want.
\nDaniel:<\/strong> A freezer’s a fridge that freezes food.
\nTina:<\/strong> Not if it’s bread.
\nEthel:<\/strong> Or cornflakes<\/em>.
\nClaire:<\/strong> I didn’t put bread in the freezer. Or cornflakes! What sort of idiot<\/em> would put cornflakes in the freezer?
\nDaniel:<\/strong> A fridge is a freezer that foodens the fridge.
\nEthel:<\/strong> Well what are<\/em> you putting in the freezer then?
\nClaire:<\/strong> I’m not telling.
\nTina:<\/strong> We can just look you know?
\nAgnes:<\/strong> Yeah, what exactly are you putting in the freezer, Claire?
\nClaire:<\/strong> It’s a secret.
\nEthel:<\/strong> I’m taking a look.
\nTina:<\/strong> So am I.
\nAgnes:<\/strong> Be careful you two! I don’t want one of you falling in there again.
\nClaire:<\/strong> Ha! I’ve never fallen in the freezer at all!
\nTina:<\/strong> It’s okay Mum we’ve got a stool.
\nEthel:<\/strong> See!
\n(pause)<\/em>
\nTina:<\/strong> My milkshakes!
\nEthel:<\/strong> My yoghurts!
\nClaire:<\/strong> They’re not yours<\/em>. They’re mine<\/em>. I put them there.
\nAgnes:<\/strong> Well, they’re everyone’s now. You’ll have to share.
\nClaire:<\/strong> I don’t want to share.
\nAgnes:<\/strong> Claire…
\nClaire:<\/strong> Fine!
\n(pause)<\/em>
\nAgnes:<\/strong> And you know Claire, you really shouldn’t put cornflakes in the freezer.
\nClaire:<\/strong> I didn’t put cornflakes in the freezer. I already told you that!
\nAgnes: <\/strong>Well someone did. And so much bread<\/em>!<\/p>\n

_________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written in May (2, 3) and July (1,4) 2022<\/em>
\n2. There’s a chapter in An Escape<\/a> that has the same name, very similar illustration as this.<\/em>
\n3. Although I think the tapes there are probably nicer looking.<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Kitchen (breakfast time) Ethel: Someone’s eaten my yoghurt! Tina: Someone’s drunk my milkshake! Daniel: A milkshake is a yoghurt in a bottle. Ethel: Mum! Someone’s been eating our food? Agnes (from the garden): Was it Claire? Claire: NO! (pause) Daniel: A yoghurt is a milkshake in a pot. 2. The Hall (lunchtime) (phone ringing) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1208],"tags":[1383,1382,1209,368],"class_list":["post-4782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales-from-the-town","tag-spying","tag-surveillance","tag-tales-from-the-town","tag-tapes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4782"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4785,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4782\/revisions\/4785"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}