{"id":4235,"date":"2022-01-22T08:26:51","date_gmt":"2022-01-22T08:26:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=4235"},"modified":"2021-06-09T16:23:04","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T16:23:04","slug":"tales-from-the-town-41-the-houseplant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2022\/01\/22\/tales-from-the-town-41-the-houseplant\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales From The Town #41: The Houseplant"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

They never watered it. They hadn\u2019t even planted it. Yet still it grew. It was fascinating.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many times have I told you all to bring your dirty teacups downstairs?\u201d Agnes said, as the vines curled up out of the mug and moved slowly to an arrhythmic beat. \u201cNow look what\u2019s happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was Tina\u2019s fault!\u201d Claire said. \u201cI don\u2019t even drink tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTi<\/em>na drinks tea,\u201d Daniel said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Claire drinks clay!\u201d Ethel added with a giggle.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do not drink clay,\u201d said Claire. \u201cAnd even if I did at least I take my cups down to the kitchen! Unlike Tina! She\u2019s too busy writing poetry<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, it doesn\u2019t matter now whose fault it is,\u201d said Agnes. \u201cAs long as it doesn\u2019t happen again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt won’t, Mum, I promise,\u201d said Tina. \u201cBut can I keep it? I\u2019ll feed it every day!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Agnes said reluctantly. “But you\u2019ll have to look after it carefully. It takes a lot of time and patience to nurture living things.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Mum!\u201d Tina said excitedly. \u201cI\u2019ll feed it every day! I promise!\u201d<\/p>\n

In front of them, a thousand tiny mouths opened on the tips of the houseplant\u2019s fronds and began to sing plaintively to its audience in dissonant harmonies.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder what it eats,\u201d Claire said. \u201cI bet it\u2019s something disgusting<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike maggots!\u201d Ethel said.<\/p>\n

\u201cOr bananas<\/em>!\u201d Daniel shuddered.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m only going to feed it nice things,\u201d said Tina.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least Claire\u2019s safe,\u201d Agnes said quietly. But not anywhere near quietly enough.<\/p>\n

_________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written on June 7th, 2021<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They never watered it. They hadn\u2019t even planted it. Yet still it grew. It was fascinating. \u201cHow many times have I told you all to bring your dirty teacups downstairs?\u201d Agnes said, as the vines curled up out of the mug and moved slowly to an arrhythmic beat. \u201cNow look what\u2019s happened.\u201d \u201cIt was Tina\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1208],"tags":[1192,354,1209],"class_list":["post-4235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales-from-the-town","tag-a-cast-of-characters","tag-plants","tag-tales-from-the-town"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4235"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4235\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4237,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4235\/revisions\/4237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}