My mother died last week, which was sad, I suppose. She was a hard person to love, my mother, though, so in many ways it was a relief.<\/p>\n
Anyway, for a week or so after I sort of wandered around in a daze. Shock, I expect, and also that I wasn\u2019t really sure what to do or how to do it. I spent so long on the phone telling everyone she was dead that for awhile it seemed like this was it now, for me, forever. Just sitting here at my desk ringing people up and going, \u201cDo you remember [mother]? Well, she\u2019s dead, I\u2019m afraid. Sorry about that. Did you know her well? Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, I know. I know. Sorry. Yeah she was, she really was. But still she\u2019s my mother, and, well\u2026 I just thought you should know.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure even the vicar bothered to attempt to console me, to express in any way a sense of regret.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I thought yesterday that it was over, after the funeral was done and she was safely buried and I\u2019d cleared away all the uneaten buffet stuff from the table I\u2019d set up in the living room and everyone had gone home and there was no need for them to ever think about her again.<\/p>\n
But this morning I came down stairs and there she was, sat at the kitchen table, eating some toast and marmite, biting through it toothlessly with her dry papery lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you were dead,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was,\u201d she said. \u201cI spent the last week in heaven,\u201d she said. \u201cNice place, really, except for all the cats.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe cats?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
My mother didn\u2019t like cats.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, the cats. Cats everywhere there was. Every cat that ever lived. Millions of them, sitting around. Sitting on everything,\u201d she said. \u201cWell, every cat that ever died, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you here, mother? You\u2019re supposed to be dead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you know how I feel about cats.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone knew how she felt about cats.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo I left. Told God it was either the cats or me. He chose the cats.\u201d She took another bite of her toast. \u201cHe reminded me a bit of your father, really.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGod.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure you were in heaven, mother?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, where else would I have fucking been?\u201d<\/p>\n
So, anyway, now I expect I\u2019ll have to spend the rest of the week on the phone again, telling everyone that I told that she was dead that she\u2019s alive again now. I\u2019m really not looking forward to having to explain this to the council. Or the inland revenue, or whatever they\u2019re called now. <\/p>\n
Actually, she\u2019s going to be bloody furious when she finds out they\u2019ve cancelled her pension. And how few people turned up at her funeral. How no-one even ate the sandwiches I\u2019d made and that they\u2019d all ended up in the bin. <\/p>\n
Maybe I should let her call everyone.<\/p>\n
__________<\/p>\n
Notes: <\/p>\n
1. Written on June 30th, 2016<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br> My mother died last week, which was sad, I suppose. She was a hard person to love, my mother, though, so in many ways it was a relief. Anyway, for a week or so after I sort of wandered around in a daze. Shock, I expect, and also that I wasn\u2019t really sure what to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[102,107,5,219],"class_list":["post-420","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-undex","tag-death","tag-mothers","tag-undex","tag-undying"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=420"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":421,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions\/421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"