They were selling christs at the market. It was the season for it, of course. Fifty pence each or four for a pound. I said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure you should be selling discount christs, really,\u201d and the man running the market stall said, \u201dWhat why not?\u201d and I said, \u201cIt just seems a bit disrespectful really,\u201d and he said, \u201cSo it\u2019d be better if I ripped you off then would it?\u201d and I shrugged my shoulders and said \u201cI dunno,\u201d but I still didn\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n
A woman came up and asked for a christ and the market man said, \u201cJust the one love? It\u2019s four for a pound,\u201d but she said, \u201cNah just one I could never manage four I\u2019d end up just throwing the others out for the birds,\u201d and she handed him a 50p and he handed her a christ and she bit into the skull and I could see her shiver uncontrollably in delight as the hallowed brains burst out into her mouth. Then she pulled the arms and legs off and gave one each to her children, who all began to gnaw with a sullen determination at the foetal limbs.<\/p>\n
She handed the torso back to the stall holder and said, \u201cCan you wrap that up for me?\u201d and he put the bloody lump of it down on some grease proof paper and wrapped it up neatly for her and said, \u201cSaving it for someone special?\u201d and she said, \u201cThe heart\u2019s my favourite bit. I\u2019m saving it for later,\u201d and then she smiled and said, \u201cFor the when the kids have gone to bed,\u201d and she winked at the christ seller and there was blood on her teeth and quite a bit on her chin and then she tucked the bloody package into her bag and went on her way, her children following behind like dogs, still chewing on their bones, trying desperately to extract some holy flavour from the seeping marrow and the gristly meat. I watched them disappear into the distance and thought of many things.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to fucking buy any christs or what you fucking cunt?\u201d the christ man said to me and I handed him a pound and took my discount christs without a word.<\/p>\n
__________<\/p>\n
Notes:<\/p>\n
1. Written on December 10th, 2016<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br> They were selling christs at the market. It was the season for it, of course. Fifty pence each or four for a pound. I said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure you should be selling discount christs, really,\u201d and the man running the market stall said, \u201dWhat why not?\u201d and I said, \u201cIt just seems a bit disrespectful […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[217,218,5],"class_list":["post-418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-undex","tag-christmas","tag-christs","tag-undex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=418"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/418\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":419,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/418\/revisions\/419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"