{"id":4167,"date":"2021-12-18T06:25:05","date_gmt":"2021-12-18T06:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/?p=4167"},"modified":"2021-06-09T16:23:29","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T16:23:29","slug":"tales-from-the-town-36-saturday-morning-spending-spree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/2021\/12\/18\/tales-from-the-town-36-saturday-morning-spending-spree\/","title":{"rendered":"Tales From The Town #36: Saturday Morning Spending Spree"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The Land Of Pounds<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whenever the children get their pocket money, they head straight to The Land Of Pounds, where everything for sale costs exactly a pound. It is the most beautiful shop in the world.<\/p>\n

[Legal Notice<\/strong>: The Land Of Pounds would like to make it clear to all readers, shoppers, entrants, voyeurs, and participants that it is unaffiliated with any and all other single currency unit based shopping emporiums, including but not limited to Poundland, Poundworld, World Of Pounds. World Land, Pound Island, or any other combination of words, symbols and expressions that may constitute a hitherto unknown but organically arising shop name either now, in the past, or the future, whichever future it is we finally happen to inhabit. Any coincident of naming is purely natural and within legal parameters concerning such aspects of law as trademark, copyright, emblemanisation, or hallmarking, where applicable. All legal avenues of complaint have been exhausted, and shall prove fruitless if attempted. Any broaching of this subject by customers will be met with complete and total humourlessness until the topic is dropped as awkwardly as possible and the purchasing of items can continue.<\/em>]<\/p>\n

The children know nothing of this, of course. They don\u2019t even know Poundland exists. Even if they did it would not matter. For them The Land Of Pounds is all that there is. All that there ever needs to be.<\/p>\n

Tina<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tina plans her purchases very carefully in advance. She wants nothing left to chance, and dares not let herself be placed at the mercy of impulse and desire. Who knows where such things could lead\u2026<\/p>\n

Today she goes straight to the bouncy ball aisle, and buys four identical bouncy balls (in a single pack), so that once they get home the four of them can race them down the slide together, without any arguments or complaints about who had the best ball, because all the balls will be identical now.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s been planning this for weeks, never mentioning the idea before now so that nothing could spoil it. She can\u2019t wait to get home. She\u2019s so excited. By her calculations, if they\u2019re quick enough they\u2019ll be able to sprint up the stairs to the loft quicker than the balls could slide down there themselves. Two races for the price of one!<\/p>\n

In her mind everything goes perfectly. There are no arguments at all.<\/p>\n

Daniel<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to buy a sword,\u201d Daniel told Ethel.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve already got a sword,\u201d Ethel said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve already got eleven swords,\u201d Daniel said, as he held his newest one aloft to marvel at its magnificence. \u201cAnd now I will have twelve.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ethel could not argue with such irrefutable logic.<\/p>\n

Ethel<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ethel bought herself a tiara because she knew Claire really<\/em> hated princesses.<\/p>\n

Claire<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d Claire asked the man behind the counter, as she held up a plastic egg.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a plastic egg,\u201d said Simon.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but what does it do?\u201d Claire enquired. \u201cWhat\u2019s it for<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a plastic egg,\u201d said Simon.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why? Why? What\u2019s the point? I don\u2019t understand! I just want to know what it\u2019s for!\u201d Claire beseechingly implored.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a plastic egg,\u201d Simon said.<\/p>\n

Claire began to scream. \u201cI don\u2019t like it at all!\u201d Claire told him. \u201cI hate<\/em> it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to buy a plastic egg if you don\u2019t want a plastic egg,\u201d Simon said. <\/p>\n

\u201cI do! I have to buy something<\/em>!\u201d Claire wailed. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou could buy something else,\u201d Simon said.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything else is even worse!\u201d<\/p>\n

Claire slammed her pound down on the counter as furiously as she could, and then ran outside to show the others exactly what she\u2019d got.<\/p>\n

___________<\/p>\n

Notes:<\/p>\n

1. Written between May 21st and May 25th, 2021<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>

Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Land Of Pounds Whenever the children get their pocket money, they head straight to The Land Of Pounds, where everything for sale costs exactly a pound. It is the most beautiful shop in the world. [Legal Notice: The Land Of Pounds would like to make it clear to all readers, shoppers, entrants, voyeurs, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1208],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tales-from-the-town"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4167"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4169,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4167\/revisions\/4169"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}