There was a growth in the kitchen, protruding bulbously from the fruit bowl, furred and quivering where the pineapple should have been.<\/p>\n
“Where’s my pudding?” called a voice from the garden.<\/p>\n
I looked at the growth and tried to direct my mother away from it and onto the idea of having something else for pudding.<\/p>\n
“What do you want?” I said. “There’s some ice cream.”<\/p>\n
“Fruit,” she said. “You know I always have fruit for pudding.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not sure there’s any left,” I said.<\/p>\n
“There should be a pineapple in the fruit bowl.”<\/p>\n
“Are you sure you don’t want any ice cream?”<\/p>\n
“No! Fruit! I want my fruit, David!”<\/p>\n
I picked up the growth, hoping until the last it was a miniature coconut, that the quivering was a trick of the light, that<\/p>\n
that<\/p>\n
that<\/p>\n
anything<\/p>\n
except what it was<\/p>\n
It was soft in my hand, and almost definitely alive, moist, like wet bread, and as hairy as a tarantula you’d been forced to stroke at the zoo, but warm and responsive, unlike the refrigerated docility of those poor captive beasts.<\/p>\n
I placed it on the chopping board and cut it in half. Blood seeped out everywhere, green and sickly and thin. I skinned the thing, dumped it’s abject flesh into mother’s favourite cereal bowl and took it out to the garden where she sat grimly underneath the parasol.<\/p>\n
On my way back inside I absentmindedly licked my fingers, and they tasted like acid. Like acid and metal and electricity being fired through the bones of my skull. I spat and spat into the sink but nothing would make it go away.<\/p>\n
Mother loved it, wouldn’t stop saying all night how nice it was, asking me when I was going to go out and get some more.<\/p>\n
__________<\/p>\n
Notes:<\/p>\n
1. This story was written on the 24th June, 2018<\/em> There was a growth in the kitchen, protruding bulbously from the fruit bowl, furred and quivering where the pineapple should have been. “Where’s my pudding?” called a voice from the garden. I looked at the growth and tried to direct my mother away from it and onto the idea of having something else for pudding. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116],"tags":[8,119,6,9,7],"class_list":["post-38","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ephemera","tag-blood","tag-ephemera","tag-fruit","tag-growth","tag-mother"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":96,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions\/96"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n2. It’s not a very good story<\/em>
\n3. I was thinking mostly of kiwi fruits, but also there’s this thing in the garden, down by the compost heap, and it’s all furry and odd and I don’t know what it is and I don’t dare find out<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br>Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"