We\u2019d searched the house frantically for an hour or two now but we still hadn\u2019t found the bomb.<\/p>\n
We knew there was a bomb because the Bomb Location Service had rung us up and told us there was a bomb. They advised us to go outside and wait until they could get here, but that could take up to 28 days and we didn\u2019t really want to have to sleep in the garden until then. And anyway our tents were in the house somewhere and if we had to search for them we might as well just search for the bomb.<\/p>\n
So we were searching for the bomb but we\u2019d stopped for a cup of tea. My mother was upstairs using the toilet and I was just boiling the kettle and my brother was searching around in the cupboards for some clean mugs making sure that none of the mugs had a bomb in them.<\/p>\n
Before the kettle had even boiled my mother started calling down frantically from upstairs that she\u2019d found something. <\/p>\n
We found her in my sister\u2019s room. <\/p>\n
There was a box on the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing in here,\u201d I said. \u201cYou\u2019re not supposed to be in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a box on the bed,\u201d said my mother.<\/p>\n
I looked at the bed, and there was a box on the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019d that come from?\u201d I asked, looking at the box that was on the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, yeah, they delivered that yesterday,\u201d said my brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho delivered it?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe delivery driver did,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what\u2019s it doing in here?\u201d my mother said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t let them come in here, did you?\u201d I said. \u201cThey\u2019re not supposed to come in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey said it was for your sister,\u201d said my brother.<\/p>\n
He always called her \u201cyour sister\u201d when he was talking about my sister, as if by distancing himself from her he would somehow be absolved of blame, just in case there was going to be any blame.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut she doesn\u2019t even live here anymore,\u201d I said. \u201cNot till Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n
My mother lifted the top off the box. It wasn\u2019t even taped up or sealed or anything.<\/p>\n
Inside the box there was a little pink woollen blanket all folded up neatly and tucked down at the edges like it was a quilt in a doll\u2019s pram.<\/p>\n
Whatever was under it was breathing.<\/p>\n
We looked at the blanket rising up and down and we all held our breath for a bit and then we stopped holding our breath and my mother said, \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe it\u2019s a hedgehog,\u201d my brother said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy the fuck would it be a hedgehog?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cDavid!<\/em>\u201d hissed my mother.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d said my brother. \u201cIt looks like it might be.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be a hedgehog,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cWell what it is, then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d<\/p>\n My mother shouted, \u201cDon\u2019t shout!\u201d and then the box started to cry and then she said, \u201cNow look what you\u2019ve done!\u201d<\/p>\n She pulled the blanket back and underneath the blanket there was a baby.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a baby,\u201d said my mother.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy\u2019s there a baby in the box?\u201d said my brother.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cWell she\u2019s your sister,\u201d my brother said. \u201cSurely she should have told you if she was having a baby delivered here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d I said. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTo make sure you were in when it arrived,\u201d he said. \u201cImagine if we were all out and they hid it in the wheelie bin like they usually do with parcels when we\u2019re all out and then the binmen had come and emptied the bins before we got back.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t say things like that,\u201d my mother said. \u201cIt\u2019s not nice.\u201d<\/p>\n The baby was still crying but we were trying our best to pretend it wasn\u2019t crying, but it was crying and it was probably that which was putting us all on edge.<\/p>\n \u201cCan I hold it?\u201d asked my brother.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not a toy,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd anyway it\u2019s my sisters.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, we can\u2019t just leave it in the box forever, can we?\u201d he said. \u201cCan we?\u201d<\/p>\n My brother looked a bit bewildered by it all, to be honest. I shook my head.<\/p>\n “When\u2019s your sister back from uni, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know. December some time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt better not keep on crying until then,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n It was still crying. <\/p>\n \u201cShouldn\u2019t we call her?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cAw, I wonder the baby\u2019s called,\u201d said my mother.<\/p>\n She had a faraway look in her eyes now.<\/p>\n \u201cIsn\u2019t it lovely?\u201d she said. <\/p>\n Me and my brother didn\u2019t say anything.<\/p>\n \u201cI wonder what it\u2019s called,\u201d she said again.<\/p>\n \u201cWe should definitely call her,\u201d my brother said.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay, okay,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019ll call her.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAren\u2019t you a lovely baby,\u201d my mother cooed. She reached down into the box and picked the baby up and said, \u201cDon\u2019t cry, dearie, it\u2019ll be alright, it\u2019ll be alright.\u201d<\/p>\n The baby exploded.<\/p>\n __________<\/p>\n 1. Written on July 17th, 2016<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br> We\u2019d searched the house frantically for an hour or two now but we still hadn\u2019t found the bomb. We knew there was a bomb because the Bomb Location Service had rung us up and told us there was a bomb. They advised us to go outside and wait until they could get here, but that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[193,192,5],"class_list":["post-367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-undex","tag-babies","tag-bombs","tag-undex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=367"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/367\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":368,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/367\/revisions\/368"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"