I came home early from work one day as there’d been a power cut at work and they said we could go out early for lunch and when I got home there was this lion sat on the doorstep and every time I tried to reach over its head to unlock the door it would bat at my keys with its huge paws and stop me and it was really infuriating. And whenever I tried to move the lion aside it would roar really loudly and cause such a ruckus everyone in the street would turn round to look at me, and I’d get a bit self-conscious and try to calm it down and stop it causing such a scene. I offered it a sandwich out of my lunchbox but it didn’t want a sandwich and I offered it a pack of crisps and it didn’t want a packet of crisps either even though they were skips and cats usually love skips but this cat didn’t and I offered it an apple but it just batted it out of my hand and I watched it roll down the drive and into the road and inevitably then a car drove past and crushed the apple to death and I swear I heard the lion laugh but when I looked back at the lion it wasn’t laughing at all it looked furious and I didn’t know what to do so I went back to work and the power was back on and I didn’t tell anyone about the lion at all in fact I don’t think I spoke to anyone about anything really it was a strange day<\/p>\n
__________<\/p>\n
Notes: <\/p>\n
1. Written on May 27th, 2016<\/em><\/p>\n__________<\/br> I came home early from work one day as there’d been a power cut at work and they said we could go out early for lunch and when I got home there was this lion sat on the doorstep and every time I tried to reach over its head to unlock the door it would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[178,5],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-undex","tag-lions","tag-undex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":349,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions\/349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accumulationofthings.com\/things\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Support An Accumulation Of Things<\/a><\/h3>If you like the things you've read here please consider subscribing to my patreon<\/a> or my ko-fi<\/a>. <\/br><\/br>Patreon subscribers<\/a> get not just early access to content and also the occasional gift, but also my eternal gratitude. Which I'm not sure is very useful, but is certainly very real.<\/br><\/br>(Ko-fi contributors<\/a> probably only get the gratitude I'm afraid, but please get in touch if you want more). <\/br><\/br>Thank you!<\/i><\/br><\/br>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"